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What is your opinion on online dating?

 
 
Roxxxanne
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Feb, 2006 11:42 pm
A. wrote:
Well, I have experience in on-line acquaintances.
I was very cautious and dated in crowded places only.

But it was not so good.

For example,
I like men older than me and once I wrote this in my form.
But I added that I needed ONLY serious relations,
that I was not interested in married men and etc.

Of course, many men answered me. And what???
Yes, you have guessed right!

Only few men had serious intentions, but I do not like their appearance at all.

Well, it could be a problem that I did not put my photo on the web-page,
but I sent some photos of me to people that have written to me.

About photos in the interenet... I have a good job and I do not sure how
my chief would treat my photos on such a web-page. Confused


Guys like a photo that is at least somewhat sexy, show a little cleavage and your e-mail box will be swamped. When you get lots of responses, you will quickly learn which ones to take seriously.
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Kehoe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Feb, 2006 12:06 am
I've heard good & bad stories about Internet Dating.
Sometimes people pretend to be something they're not online.
But sometimes it can work out well.
So, you just have to be very careful, I think.
And trust your instincts.
That goes with just talking to people online in general, too.
I've met some really nice people online ... and some not so nice.
There was some really good advice earlier in this thread too.
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Jack Webbs
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Feb, 2006 12:56 am
Dear Roxxxanne all you need is a little more experience and you will soon be able to filter out the jerks and the game players right off.

I view the inquirers to my ads as though they are bitches in heat. Everything is done within a day or two, three days max or I shut them off, move on to the next one.

No you place that ad with the idea in mind that everyone that reads them are jerks. They don't really deserve a sweet, fine woman of your caliber but if they hurry up and beg, grovel like the swine they really are you may listen. "Hurry up" is the key phrase here. Give no one time to scheme or put angles on you my dear for if you stand still for long it gives them time to do just that.

Always stay at least ones step ahead always be in control. :wink:
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OCCOM BILL
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Feb, 2006 02:39 am
I'll be meeting 14 to 100 people I met online on May 6th in Chicago. Do you think I'll be safe? Shocked

I gave Match.com a shot a while back with mixed results. I enjoyed a couple of the dates but didn't really connect with any of them. Ultimately, I find it's 10 times easier to meet people in person. If you have trouble doing this; simply follow these 4 simple steps to inevitable success.
1. Go somewhere where you'll see people; anywhere.
2. Smile
3. Say "Hola" to any and every one you'd like to meet.
4. Repeat as often as necessary.

Set and ehBeth seem to be the classic Cinderella story (though how she got that glass slipper on his enormous foot I have no idea...) I'm hoping Brooklyn and I get along well in Chicago as we're WAY overdue to meet in person.

Overall, I'd think common sense makes online dating no more dangerous than any other. In some ways probably less so; since there's generally an inordinate amount of conversation before the actual date takes place... I mean; If I meet someone at the grocery store, I don't get to know much about them till we're actually on the date.<shrugs> Enjoy.
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Jack Webbs
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Feb, 2006 09:35 am
I'll be meeting 14 to 100 people I met online on May 6th in Chicago. Do you think I'll be safe?
(Posted by Occum Bill)

Probably, providing you deal at arms length. I've done this and it involved about 18 people. There were several women I liked very much. Nobody was bad. It was fun matching up the "handles" with the faces. A few of us still keep in touch nearly daily and that get together was three years ago.

An attempt for a repeat by a couple of members was a flop. So that might tell you something.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Feb, 2006 01:29 pm
I took a risk last night and went out with a guy from online.. had a great time... had a few drinks at a crowded bar that I was familiar with.. it was a good time

and now I am going out with him again 2nite
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Jack Webbs
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Feb, 2006 01:38 pm
Well great! Let's face it, this on-line dating is here to stay. Especially for us mods. It is the cutting edge for meeting good people. When you work hard to be a success you have to deal with life in the fast lane and grab enjoyment when you can, squeeze the time in.

It cuts through all the nonsense. When the person shows up? Well you know immediately if she's for you or not. :wink:
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Treya
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Feb, 2006 09:24 am
Well hmm. I worked at a job for about 5 years where I rarely got the chance to meet people. I got lonely a few times along the way and tried internet dating. It never really worked out for me. I can honestly say that every one of the people I met turned out to not be what they said they were. I had just about given up on the whole thing when I met my husband. He was different. (I thought) As it turns out he was just much better at putting on an act for longer than the others I met.

I sit at my computer some days filled with so much sadness at my own foolishness. If I hadn't met him I wouldn't be here right now. I would be out west somewhere living in a travel trailer. I had it all planned out. I was going to get a large sum of money from my IRA when I quit my job after five years. With that money I was going to take a year off of work and travel the country. See all the things I have always wanted to see. Meet people would have never had an opportunity to meet otherwise. I shared all this with him and he told me he felt the same. He even promised it could happen someday.

He lied. He wanted to settle down, buy a house, and live the "american dream". Now I sit four months later with only a few thousand left of what I started with. I live with someone who is not who they said they were, who only pretended to be what he thought I wanted until he had a ring on my finger. It's no one's fault but my own. And I live with that decision every day. I could leave him, and I very well may, but what makes me the saddest is knowing that I threw away everything for this person and now even if I did leave I wouldn't have what I needed to do what I originally wanted to do.

My suggestion would be to be very careful. Take your time in getting to know him. Don't let him rush you into anything you aren't comfortable with. Listen to your gut. Had I done all those things my life would be much different right now.

And no. I would never do online dating again.
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Feb, 2006 09:27 am
Awww, that's sad.
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Jack Webbs
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Feb, 2006 10:28 am
hephzibar - You really are interesting. I must admit my enthusiasm for on-line dating is based upon my personal set of circumstances.

I have been divorced for 18 years. I have absolutely no intention of getting married again. Mainly because of economic reasons. I was broke once as a result of the divorce and never for love or anything else will I ever risk that happening again. I am not rich and I am far from being poor. I doubt though, I could afford a wife and continue for both of us to live the good life I live now. So marriage for me is out.

The difference though between me and all of the men you have met is that I am up front with every woman I date about NOT entertaining any idea of marriage. You may consider it gross, quirky, whatever but I no longer date women that have not reached menopause. I used to but then I began thinking: I am depriving this child bearing woman from finding a man to marry and settle down with. Hence I prefer fiftyish women with little attraction for women past 60 for obvious reasons.

To be honest, sex is really a bonus for me with women of that age. Most women can do with out it. Most of the women I date have been through the rigors of divorce, have careers, own their own homes (do not rent) and have grown children. We have no "steadies" and the chances of subsequent dates are just that "chance" as they may already have dates for that evening. No problem because I have about a dozen friendly women to chose from. I have dinner with most of them several times a year; dinner, concerts, day trips whatever.

Unlike you and probably many others as well, I would never consider on-line as a place to find marriage. Not to say there are not some good possibilities but not many from my viewpoint. :wink:
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Treya
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Feb, 2006 11:12 am
Jack, the funny thing is I wasn't looking for marriage. I was just looking for someone to see me for who I am and be ok with that. I figured if it led to marriage that was ok, as long as he was willing to be a part of my dream. I was very clear on that. He told me he was and in my naivety I believed him. I had my plan all laid out, I had been planning for about six months and was just about to buy my travel trailer when this just kind of fell in my lap. I didn't question it.

I thought it was God maybe leading me on a slight detour from my original course, but instead of doing it alone, maybe there would be a potential to have someone to travel with. Which would be much nicer... I thought. Yes, I'm incredibly ashamed to admit that, but it's true none the less. I'm nieve, I'm a fool, and I can honestly say that if I do get divorced I will never date again or get remarried. Nor will I feel sorry for myself because of this fact. I decided long ago I was only getting married once. I won't repeat the cycle of my childhood. I did it. I tried it. I failed miserably. Oh well, there's better things in life than being married. *shrugs* It's not men I don't trust or am writing off. I'm sure there's some good ones out there somewhere. It's my own judgement I no longer trust.
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Jack Webbs
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Feb, 2006 11:52 am
Trust. That says it all.
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Treya
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Feb, 2006 10:59 pm
I have not even the slightest clue what you mean by that.
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Jack Webbs
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Feb, 2006 11:08 pm
You can have all sorts of accessories in a relationship but if you cannot trust someone why bother? What's the point? That you can make him honest? Not likely.
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Perplexed
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Mar, 2006 04:29 pm
I've done it a few times, it was a waste of time, and I put myself in a position to be hurt, several times, for no reason. If you aren't close enough to meet in real life at least occasionally, don't waste your time.
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Roxxxanne
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Mar, 2006 11:44 pm
I am taking the plunge again. This guy is coming in from NC this week. Sounds real interesting and he is really cute! (at least the photo is)

This couple across the bay want me to join in with them for a menage-a-trois, I don't know if I am ready for that although...

Syat tuned.
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Roxxxanne
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 Mar, 2006 12:12 am
Had a long talk tonight with "Bill" he arrived at SFO this AM then drove up to Willits, he sounds really nice, coming back to the city Tuesday, we are meeting for coffee and then...who knows. I have been coming on pretty strong, I think he thinks he will bed me down, and he is probably right, he is staying at the Hilton downtown, I have never been fucked at a Hilton. I don't think.
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