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Tue 10 Jan, 2006 10:46 am
OK so here's the thing:
We're limping along financially. We're doing OK and things are likely to look up (due to E.G.'s weird academic system of getting paid, we'll be getting a windfall [relatively speaking] this summer but not so much for the other 9 months) but as of now we're limping. Credit card debt, yadda yadda. Not desperate, but not so good.
I got some Christmas/ birthday money from each of my parents. (Emphasis on *I*.) I think it's rude to just absorb it into our household costs. I think part of the point of Christmas money (or any other gift money) is to recognize that since the recipient is financially limited, that is a chance to splurge a bit, get something that would normally not be affordable.
E.G. thinks that we're in too bad of shape financially to spend any money that we don't absolutely need to spend.
I'm willing to not spend ALL of it -- to take some chunk of it, apply it to something, thank the parent for it, and then keep the rest in reserve. But not spending it on ANYTHING doesn't sit right with me.
What do you think?
Buy yourself something nice, soz. You deserve it.
We do either, it kinda depends. When we were in LI, we were pretty dang poor and so money gifts ended up as groceries and bills most of the time. These days, they're more likely to end up as curtains or the like. I think most of our Chanukah gelt last year went to window treatments.
But the thing is, money is money. It's totally fungible and, except for the serial numbers and dates and other minor identifying information, the quarter you make at your job is identical to the quarter you got from Mom, so spend it as you need/want to and personally I wouldn't add a layer of gift money identification onto it.
I got some christmas/birthday cash (birthday is Dec 28th) from my parents this year. SB (the Mrs.) insists on me spending it on myself since it is birthday money. We are in the same situation you guys are in... doing ok but could be doing a lot better.
The way I look at it... what does you the most good? Buying a new expensive novelty or using the money to pay off a little debt or get by for one month will a little less stress?
Sure there is stuff I could blow my cash on that I want but don't need, but the gratification I would get from it would be very short lived compared to the benefits of using the money in a more useful manner.
We compromised. I took her out to a nice dinner and am going to use the rest to buy some desperately needed household repairs.
I wonder if soz would be offended if I sent her a couple thousand dollars?
We treat gift money as a gift to the recipient, to be used however that individual desires. We receive money gifts from one side, but not usually the other, but it is always equally distributed between T and myself.
We're in somewhat the same boat as others have mentioned, not making as much as we could 'cause I work at home, T's currently a full-time at-home parent, etc.
What I want to get is somewhere in between -- not a novelty, not quite household repairs. The family room has been half-furnished since we moved in -- it's a couple of desks and a rug, noplace to sit. I want to finally get a couch, but only if it's cheap -- have been looking at craigslist and am going to go look at a sofa/ loveseat combo for $200 today (and hope to get one of them and not both for half that).
Part of it is that we KNOW things will be looking up significantly within a matter of months -- we will be getting enough to erase credit card debt and have some left over with just one of three payments he'll be getting this summer. Plus sozlet will be finishing with preschool in June and will be in (free) kindergarten after that, and a few more things along those lines.
I'm not sure, though, which is why I opened this.
Go for it, Gus. :-D
Oh wait, it's the address thing again..! You'll get me one of these days...
I'm also thinking of buying both and then selling the one I don't want for $200... heh... (from the pictures, they look nice...)
How many Sozobes can there be in Ohio?
At our house, money gifts are gifts to the recipient. I always make sure it gets spent by the giftee as anticipated by the sender, and then let them know what I / we did with it. That item(s), rather than the money, becomes their gift.
Did the person who gave you the money gift specify how you should spend it?
I have a long-time family friend who gives me money gifts and insists I use them to treat myself to something I wouldn't normally buy. So I do.
One time I did spend it on bills, and later I felt like I had to lie to her about what I did with her gift so she wouldn't be disappointed. She meant it to be used for a treat. She can't get out and shop much anymore, so money is all she can give. She really enjoys hearing what I do with it...it's part of the fun for her.
A sofa is, I think, a valid use of birthday cash. It's something you don't have but could use. It isn't like you are going out and blowing $1000 on a leather sofa with seat warmers. It's a conservative price on something you can use. I wouldn't feel bad about buying it.
Om the other hand... One thing I have learned is that plans for future money never work out the way they are supposed to. Some thing else always comes up (car breaks, roof leaks, a dentist visit turns into 2 cavities and a root canal instead of just a cleaning). I find whenever I get some bonus income or even a steady raise, winter hits and my utilty bill triples, i have to evict my tenant which means my new income merely offsets my loss of income... something.
Or maybe I'm just being pessimistic.
The gift-givers definitely specified that it should be for some THING that I want. It's a longstanding frustration for them (especially my mom) that I just absorb it and don't get anything specific. ("Thanks so much for the gift! I got some new batteries, and some gas, and some yard bags, and a whole hour of parking at the meter, and some stamps, and...")
Didn't see your response, Eva, yeah, that's definitely how it is for my mom. I did get some boots which she's happy about (at 70% off, but never would've bought 'em otherwise), so I can leave it there if I have to I think.
I'm liking the buy both for $200 and sell one for $200 (or $150, or whatever) idea!! Is that inethical?
sozobe wrote:I'm liking the buy both for $200 and sell one for $200 (or $150, or whatever) idea!! Is that inethical?
Only if "buy low, sell high" is a sin.
DrewDad wrote:
Only if "buy low, sell high" is a sin.
And then only if you are a
Communist :wink:
It sounds like a way to satisfy a number of concerns, Soz.
I know you really wanted a camera so I think the couch is a nice compromise -- it is something that the entire family can use. Not to mention how hard it is to find a good couch for that price.
A word of warning on the resale thing -- someone got "busted" doing that on craigslist here (they took something from "free" and then listed it for $50) and the s*** hit the fan for them, from what I gather.
We have really been manical about saving around here in anticipation of attorney fees, court costs, blah blah blah and we went without furniture for almost a year before we learned the absolute and soul saving value of a splurge.
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