Please give us your take, Setanta, on Gadsen's plot to corrupt the precious bodily fluids of the Mexicans.
Sap, Boss, he wanted to sap their precious bodily fluids . . .
From Dr. Strangelove: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb--
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
General Jack D. Ripper: Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.
Yes, I recognized the quote from Gen. Jack D. Ripper, but what was the essence of Gasden's plot to sap the precious bodily fluids of the Mexicans? If anything it is hot-blooded Latins who sap the precious bodily fluids of high school jocks all over the Southwest. They've addicted us to spicy foods so that good old fat-back and grits fail to satisfy. Mescal and Tequila have led many an unsuspecting Gringo into degregation. Some actually brag on swallowing little worms as they drink that devil's brew!
After a few generations in this country, we're all sitting in the shadows of cacti trying to sleep away the heat. As the sun sets so colorfully in the West, we're ready to rumba. A life of dissipation during the week, followed by confession and a Catholic mass. Many who've lived in this country for a generation or so are almost as comfortable in Spanish as in English.
The President's of the U.S. and Mexico are chums, birds of a feather. NAFTA and the President's initiatives on illegal immigration are clear proof that he has sold out the U.S. to those socialists south of the border, down Mexico way. Have you ever noticed how Bush likes to sneak a bit of Spanish into his speeches down our way? Bush probably gets kickbacks from all the American dollars that are flooding into the Mexican economy. Is there any truth to the assertion that President Fox has already presented Bush with a palace? The title of the 30,000 acre estate, complete with 15,000 foot mansion, is of course in other people's names to conceal the payoff. This cozy arrangement between Bush and Fox keeps the profitable drug smuggling trade alive, and will make it possible for other CIA paid terrorists to infiltrate the U.S.
<Fashioning a sombrero out of tinfoil>
Yo hoy un sombrero de tinfoil . . .
Now, now lads. Just open your minds a wee bit. You are so blinded by your slavish subservience to a conspiracy designed to subjugate the U.S. to Mexico! The evidence is clear that the Republicans are inviting mass immigration into the U.S. and will eventually withdraw from Southern California, Arizona, New Mexico, and all of Texas south of the Neuces river. Already there are more Mexicans in Los Angeles than any place else. Signs and government offices have to be capable of working in Spanish to deliver La Dolce Vita to unemployed gangsters from south of the border. We shouldn't overlook the Pope's involvement either. This sellout will not only return the Southwest to Mexico, it will result in the forced conversion of all the people here to Catholicism.
Wake up, before its too late!!
Good grief. I thought people had completely forgotten about the Nueces. Visiting Texas a few years ago I mentioned it as an accepted boundary:
Yankee:
Now where is the Nueces in relation to this river, the Blanco?
Tejan:
Nueces? Never heard of it.
Yankee:
Never heard of it? It was the most credible border with Mexico before the war!
Tejan:
I don't think so. Never learned that in school.
Yankee:
Well, what DID you learn in school?
Tejan:
I forget. Doesn't matter, we have our own books anyway.
Yankee:
Yes, I know. I proofread some of them. So does California.
Tejan:
Well, Mexico had no claim anyway. The border is really the 22nd Parallel.
Yankee:
Look around now. Mexicans have slowly been moving the border North at night, when nobody's looking. If you don't believe me, check it out. People think they're sneaking into the US but really they're moving the markers. They're all over the desert, digging up markers and moving them north. You'll be begging for the Nueces when the sun rises in a few years.
Ah, wonderful. Someone else entering into the spirit of the game.
Fake Facts - "To the Best of Our Knowledge"
A syndicated public radio show, "To the Best of Our Knowledge," this Sunday (1.8.06) will feature topics I'm reminded of through this board:
John Hodgeman, author of _The Areas of My Expertise_, an almanac of fake facts, will offer his take on what makes good fake facts.
Another author and book to be discussed on that show is a collection of urban legends.
"To the Best of Our Knowledge" should be streamable from <wpr.org> next week.
Sal
