United States History Class

Why don't we just come here and ask you. That way all the hardcore history people here can put you through the acid test. That way we can know if your full of **** or not.

Did we know we were going to be attacked at pearl Harbour before it happened?

It's my understanding that George Washington was a fag, is this true?

Yeah, he was the fag that tipped the Japanese to where all the battlewagons were parked at Pearl. He was actually the source of the "bomb plot" signals . . .

Lets give the poster a break, afterall this is his/her first posting.

I, for one, would welcome a few more posters who have done their homework before launching into wild assertions and misconceptions.

Give thehistoryteacher a chance to be as silly as we are. Ever notice the resemblence between Lincoln and Davis. Since they were never pictured together, it's possible they were the same person. Lincoln was a multiple personality, who used his Presidential powers to flit back and forth between the lines. While in his Jefferson Davis mode, he ordered the assasination of his Lincoln personality in an attempt at self-healing. Booth didn't actually kill Lincoln physically. The shock killed the Lincoln personality leaving only the Jeff Davis alive. Booth and other conspirators, like the Secretary of War, knew of the President's madness. So there were a lot of relieved people after the assasination. Booth was captured, not killed, but given a pension and was spirited out of the country to keep him quiet. When Davis was captured, he was imprisoned and treated for his mental problems until he could be safely released. No one would ever have been the wiser, except for the Freedom of Informatoin Act. Even then the Government tried to keep this vital information from the public, but a right-thinking liberal clerk leaked the information to a crusading journalist from The National Star.

Geeze, whodathunk . . . well, that explains the born in a log cabin in Kentucky schtick from both of them boys . . .

Asherman,
My hat (or fez) is off to you...I'm going to recommend this as post of the year.

And it's only the first.


Wow.

I received the following transcript from a colleague who has been doing research into Presidential Papers and old archives. The individual is well known to me as a diligent and resourceful historical researcher. However, my source must remain anonymous to preserve their access to primary documents. Blue text indicates expanations added by my colleague to assist the reader.

The transcript below was a stenographic record, apparently made in the White House during a meeting between President Grant and his friend General Sherman (Cump) who at the time was Commander in Chief of the U.S. Army.

The stenographer, Jefferson Greene, was found dead with a crushed skull in December 1875. The Coroner's verdict was that Greene's death was accidental, having slipped on a patch of ice and smashed his head against a curbstone.

******************************************

3 p.m., November 27, 1875

Attending: President Grant (Pres.) and General W.T. Sherman (Gen.)

Pres: Thanks for coming by Cump. Julia (Grant's Wife) has been entirely too strict with my drink; I hope you've brought along a jug.

Gen: Yep, (laughing) a man's got to have the necessaries. Seriously, you need to be careful or the newspapers will be on you again for drunkenness like a cat on a June bug.

Pres: I do my best strategizing with the company of Old Barleycorn. Who would know better than "Crazy Sherman". (both laughing). Take a pew, Cump. Both sit.

Gen: What can I do for you today your highness? (Both laugh)

Pres: I never should have gotten into this politics business; its driving me over the edge. First, it was that Credit Mobilier business that almost lost me the election, and now that dunder-head Custer is in town trying to raise another scandal.

Gen: Well, we both know that Belknap has been getting rich off the redskins. Its just our bad luck that Custer is a glory-hound with lofty political ambitions. However, I agree something has to be done about that S.O.B. Custer. (Belknap was responsible for short changing the Indians by delivering poor quality and short rations under treaty obligations. A number of Grant Administration appointees and hangers-on were getting rich on the scheme. Custer had come East to demand justice for the Indians in Congressional hearings.)

Pres: Right, we can't have him muddling up plans we've been working on for half a dozen years. Lo (a common reference of the time to Indians) has to go if we're to get a railroad across to California and open up the West to homesteaders. Who would ever imagined that Custer would take the side of savages against our obvious Manifest Destiny?

Gen: Custer don't give a damn about the Indians, he's just looking for an issue to get him elected President. Over my dead body. Ever since that grandstanding he did at the parade, I've hated the S.O.B. I don't know why Phil (Gen. Sheridan) likes "Long Hair" so much. I suppose I could order him off to Africa for a few years. What do you think of that?
(During the parade to review the Grand Army of the Potomic at the conclusion of the Civil War, Custer charged to the head of the parade on a white horse waving his hat, thus grabbing the attention of the crowds. Later Custer claimed that the horse was high-strung and had escaped his control. No one believed the story, especially Grant and Sherman.)

Pres: Is Africa far enough? I'd rather order him off the face of the Earth.

Gen: Well, I've had reports that the Sioux and Cheyenne are off the reservation and congregating along the Little Big Horn. We could send him, and that bunch of odd-balls in the 7th, to bring them back onto the reservation. That ought to fix his hash.

Pres: Right, and it would give us a good excuse afterwards to mount a serious campaign against every Indian tribe that stands in the way of progress. The American People would demand it, and all the bleeding hearts in the world would have to shut up.

Gen: It sure would certainly take a lot of the pressure off of us, wouldn't it?

Pres: Yes, but it shouldn't be too obvious that we are sending Custer to the glory the S.O.B. so soundly deserves. We have to make it appear to be entirely Custer's own doing.

Gen: Well, I can order up a campaign against the Sioux. How about Terry to command, with a column led by Crook in support? I'll get Phil to send Custer back to his regiment, and put the 7th under Terry. I'll secretly order Terry to detach the 7th to reconnoiter the ground. If Custer meets up with the Sioux, he'll attack. We know that the odds will certainly be something like 100 to one against Custer, but the fool has never been able to do simple arithmetic before. That'll do for Custer.

Pres: What if Crook gets on the scene too soon, and saves Custer's bacon? That would never do.

Gen: We'll send a bunch of correspondents along with Crook and give them a route that is filled with game and good fishing. George (Gen. Crook), loves his hunting and fishing, and he'll be so busy showing off for the press that his march will be slow. By the time the Crook column comes up, the battle will already be over.

Pres: Sounds right to me. Maybe we should send a third column in just to make it look good.

Gen: I can do that.

Pres: Thanks for the bottle Cump. I sure appreciate it. By the way, I'm sorry to hear that your book is being so badly criticized by that fellow in Chicago.
(Sherman's two vol. Autobiograpy had just been published, and many of the factual details of the book were being contested by a book by Boynton)
Gen: We're suing the S.O.B., so don't give it a care. Well, I need to get back over to the War Department. Let me know if you need any more lubrication.

Pres: I'll do that, and thanks for dropping by. This has taken a geat burden off my mind. Lets move on this without delay, right?

Gen: Right. Consider it done. (Gen. Sherman leaves the room).

Jefforson Greene

Source for Lincoln the multi-personality?
These remarks got _my_ attention!

You:
"Lincoln was a multiple personality, who used his Presidential powers to flit back and forth between the lines. While in his Jefferson Davis mode, he ordered the assasination of his Lincoln personality in an attempt at self-healing. ...No one would ever have been the wiser, except for the Freedom of Informatoin Act. Even then the Government tried to keep this vital information from the public, but a right-thinking liberal clerk leaked the information to a crusading journalist from The National Star.[/quote]"


Reply:
I'm not sure whether you're kidding. (!) If you're not kidding, would you kindly list a reference or references documenting Lincoln's affliction and the assassination as his own design? You mentioned the FOIA.

Thanks!
Sal

A feature article in the National Star, isn't good enough for you! This quality newspaper has millions of readers and is available at the checkout stand in most the finest supermarkets. TIt has the very highest standards of journalistic integraty that a quarter can buy! Just look at photographs of Lincoln and Jefferson Davis with an open mind and it will be clear that the photographs are the smae person. Can it be a coincidence that the two have never been seen in the same photo?

Consider the similarity of backgrounds between the two. Both came from the South, isn't it strange that they should take stands on Slavery that exactly matched the divisions in the countrie during those times? In one persona Lincoln was dedicated to preserving the Union and as Davis he was the flag-bearer of Sessesion. Both had the power to pass through the lines, and their closest associates thought both of them "strange". Lincoln's dreams are well documented, and show him to be a deeply disturbed person. Neither had a record of dual personalities, but then Freud hadn't even been born yet.

Historians have long toyed with the idea that Secretary of War Stanton might have been somehow involved in the assasination. This highly classified information reveals just how involved he was. Once the war was concluded it would no longer be possible to conceal the President(s) central role in keeping the Confederacy alive. The fall of Richmond probably was the final straw leading on personality to seek final superiority, and control over the Lincoln/Davis body. Without the willing assistence of Secrertary Stanton, Booth could not have gotten so close to the President ... and it is only a fluke that Lincoln wasn't killed.

However, Lincolon's surviving the attack had to be concealed at all costs. That's why Booth was allowed to escape, and later paid to remain annonymous. Davis, you will remember, disappeared after the surrender of the Confederacy for quite awhile. Where was he? The answer is now obvious. Davis had to recover from the bullet that grazed his skull at Ford's Theater! The shock of the so-called assasination, and the "death" of his alter-ego, left Davis a shadow of his former self. He probably never fully grasped that he, himself was Lincoln and that the Civil War was in reality only the playing out of a conflict between the two halves of his double personality.

For all these years the truth of the matter has escaped historians, until the National Star's professional investigative staff found the Truth. Now all of the unexplained questions about both Lincoln and Davis are clearly and finally answered. ONLY those who have closed minds can still deny the truth of the matter.

Ash, you are havin' too much fun ! ! !

I just want to know if there will be a test on this on Friday...

Source for Lincoln the multi-personality?
:wink:

Setanta,

Didn't you have some stuff on W.H. Harrison's untimely death at the hands of the Jackson/Van Buren crowd? Unwilling to see the work of their administrations undone, they first manuevered to have John Tyler elected Vice-President, and then carried out the first Presidential assasination.

Harrison insisted on a two hour inaugural speech on one of those rainy days Washington is so famous for. He caught a cold from the experience, went to bed and summoned the White Housed doctor. That was his big mistake, since the doctor then saw to it that Harrison died of apparent Pneumonia.

Harrison's Party was outraged that the notion that John Tyler should become President, and hoped to have Congress name a new President. Tyler prevailed and proceeded to support many of the Jackson/Van Buren policies through the rest of his administration. He was so vilified by his Party, that it was no surprise when John Polk (Young Hickory), Jackson's pick, was elected afterwards.

The only real question is how great was John Tyler's involvment in the first Presidential assasination. Was he totally innocent and an unknowing tool of the Jackson/Van Buren gang, or was he a willing participant?

I'm really sorry you posted that Ash . . . Tyler was actually an operative of the Polk Cabal, and they are far from dead. If the Texicans don't get ya, Zack Taylor's descendants will.

You know too much, and you talk too much . . . it's been nice knowin' ya . . .

But, Polk was Jackson's designated heir. Old Hickory probably had less compunction about killing inconvienent opponents than any other President. It seems much more likely that Jackson paid off the doctor than Polk. In office Polk diligently pursued Jackson's goals of bringing Texas and Oregon into the Union. Polk was also in close communication with The Hermitage and other members of the Jackson inner-circle throughout his administration.

It may well be true that there was a deal struck in bringing Texas into the Union that a certain percentage of Texans would serve as President. Old Rough and Ready, LBJ, and the Bush's. Jackson, Van Buren, and Polk were all Democrats, but Taylor was a Louisiana Whig, LBJ was Democrat and the shrub is Republican.

What IS surprising is that no one of the Democratic side has glomed onto the fact that in the 28 Presidents since 1861, only 8 have been Democrats. Actually, the real number is even less since Andrew Johnson should probably be counted as Union Party, Cleveland (an amiable flirt who did little to obstruct Republican policies) served twice. In the 20th century we have Wilson, FDR, Truman, JFK, LBJ, Carter and Clinton, and five of those seven were "War Presidents". The 20th century Republican Presidents (Harding, Coolage, Hoover, Eisenhower, Nixon, Ford, Reagan, and the two Bushes), are mostly "Peace Presidents" ... the two Bushes excepted. Eisenhower brought the fighting in Korea to an end, Nixon made peace with China and ended Vietnam, and Reagan brought the Cold War to an end with the collapse of the Soviet Empire.

Isn't it awefully suspicious that the Republican Party manages to win election after election? The conspiracy to destroy all those right-thinking Democrats may have begun as early as the 1860s with the Radical Republicans manipulating electoins for their own benefit.

Perhaps it is time to begin considering going underground. "Death to the fascist insect that feeds on the life of the People!"

It seems you've tripped to the pay-off made to John Breckenridge . . .

If you want to find skulldugery, look no further than elections during the 19th century. Hell, those guys invented the principle ways of manipulating the vote. Washington and J. Adams may be the only truly "clean" candidates in our history. Of course, several were accidental Presidents who just happened to be handy when lightening struck.

BTW, this is sorta fun ... so long as no one takes it too seriously.

Are you aware of James Gadsen's inimical plot to sap the precious bodily fluids of Mexicans?

Remember, I was born and raised in the Gadsen Purchase. That Southern border has been a problem since Jefferson's time. At the end of the Mexican War in 1848 the border was no more clear than it had been at the onset of hostilities. On the other hand in the War was an excellent testing ground for General officers during the Late Unpleasantness.

It seems that current Politically Correctness is that the United States invaded Mexico (parallels with Iraq are interesting) to further dreams of Empire. The poor, backward Mexicans hadn't a chance against the overwhelming force of the heartless invaders. At the end of the conflict the United States stole the American Southwest from Mexico.

Actually, it wasn't like that at all. The dispute over the southern border of Texas had been in dispute since Texas Independance, and there was continual fighting in the no-man's land between the two asserted boundries. When Texas came into the Union, what should be more natural than to accept the Texan's interpretation? It only needed a spark to set off a general conflict, and there were plenty of sparks.

Many in the Congress, including Lincoln, were totally against the war. Most of the anti-war crowd weren't against the war as a breach of civilized behavior, but because of a fear that the Plantation System would be extended and strengthened. That would further tip the electoral balance to the Democrats who were concentrated in the American South. A lot of people were genuenly afraid that King Jackson's machine was consciously preparing to turn the Union into a dictatorship.

Mexico wasn't a sure thing for defeat. Santa Ana, President and Dictator, saw himself as the Napoleon of the West. He dreamed of military glory and maintained an army that was much larger than that the U.S. could put into the field. The U.S. had to fight at the end of a very long logistical line, while Santa Ana was fighting on his own ground with short, secure supply lines. Both sides were similarily armed and had similar military doctrine. The U.S. Army won impressive victories on both the Northern and Southern Fronts, Santa Ana lost decisively time and again. When the Captiol at Mexico City fell, the U.S. forces were welcomed into the City, where they behaved well. By the customs of the time, the Americans were almost excessively amiable to the defeated. Winning a war in the first half of the 19th century left the defeated at the mercy of the victory who could, and usually did, impose almost any terms they wished. The Americans behaved quite differently by entering into negotiations with the Mexican government to settle "forever" the boundries between the two nations. Land that passed from Mexico to the United States was paid for, and paid for quite generously given the value of the land at the time. Arizona and New Mexico were thought to be barren wastes where savage Indian tribes made peaceful settlement almost impossible. Mexico City had little control of those distant deserts, and was probably glad to shuck them off onto the Americans.

Polk had put most of the military emphasis on the Southern Front under the command of Winfield Scott (Old Fuss & Feathers), a solid Democrat. The Commander of the Northern Front was (Old Rough & Ready) Taylor, a Whig. It didn't make any difference where the emphasis was laid, the Whigs won the election. The Whigs were what was left of the Federalists, and they were pretty much a minority party until they merged and transformed themselves into the Republican Party with Lincoln as their standard bearer.