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Sat 24 Dec, 2005 03:29 pm
Im not a Christmas person and am therefore, quite able to assess the true worth of certain classes of Christmas gifts that people, like neighbors , bestow on each other.
Our curse is the gift choch that is either some quaint farm building or barn (like a Kinkade set) or farm animal casts. All of the above, and others like expensive plaques have the words "SIMPLIFY" carved, etched, laser shot, or sandblasted into their sides.
ARE THEY NUTS??
For a joke, Ive put a case out in my work studio with the products of this "country wish". Does anyone see the godawful sick irony of **** like this?
Its like a peace symbol on an Uzzi.
I know Im not in the spirit , but even if I were, I wouldnt presume to load someone up with another "collectible" that contains the very wishes that the choch fails to live up to.
Last year somebody gave us a very expensive (ive been told) covered etched leaded crystal cheese thing with a silver knike (I think thats in case we get attacked by werewolves while were eating cheese). The person who gave us the thing obviously knows us well enough to realize that this family doesnt "dine" . We "feed". A hunk of the most tasty Asiago, or ahard riven Prima Donna wedge with the teeny vugs of flavor, wouldnt last a nannosecond in this house. Cheese gets in, unwrapped and somebody gets those stoned crackers and "POOF" gone, not enough time to cover and refrigerate.
These are but 2 examples of theMany gifts that , we will, no doubt , hang onto cause one year we got caught slipping in a choch gift to the Community Service Yard Sale Bin, and were shunned by this one family who gave us the thing for almost 5 years . It was a stupid thing called a "WHATA PIZZERIA". It should have been crushed at the dump, but since it was never used (again cf the above about our feeding habits) a pizza that small would barely feed one of our cats.
Id like to hear about the really dumb (and why you think theyre dumb) gifts that youve been bestowed, and
PART B. did you ever toss this stuff or donate it with a free conscience.
I have off all week , so, rather than Prozac, I hope to get some cheery chochkie stories.
****, dont even ask about all the menoras weve gotten ( and, as far as I can tell, neither my wife , me, or the kids are jewish)
Thanks for my first laugh for today (which is Christmas day here, btw) farmerman! I expect there'll be lots of contributions to read from others on my return tonight from the
festivities. A bit of comic relief will be most welcome, I'm certain!
Oooh, I could just see how "festivities" was uttered through tightly gritted teeth. Good luck!
And greetings to you & yours, soz. Not long before the sozlet receives her Santa visit!
An inlaw that didn't like me one bit drew my name for a gift, back when we did that sort of thing. He/she/it gave me a pair of disposable hospital slippers, the kind so flimsy they fall apart the first time you try to slide them on.
Happy day, msolga!
i don't usually get chochkies..... (is that really how you spell it?).
Phoenix32890 wrote:There is no right or wrong way to spell tchotchkes. The word is transliterated from the Yiddish, so the idea is to spell it so that it sounds like the original. For instance, transliterated from the Russian, the word "czar" is sometimes shown as "Tsar". that's what happens when people attempt to put a word from one alphabet into another.
Quote:chach·ka or tchotch·ke (chŏch'ke) also tsats·ke (tsäts'ke)
n. Slang.
A cheap showy trinket.
[Yiddish tshatshke, from Polish dialectal czaczka.]
OH, THAT'S what it means. That's what we usually get for Christmas
Uzi with a peace symbol almost sounds familiar. Many years ago I worked in a shop (machine) that did lots of profile mill work for military prime and subcontractors. Sure 'nuff, one of the guys playfully cut piece symbols into the fuel tank supports for one of the fighter aircraft we were making parts for. The final cuts and finishing left a nice outline of when the light was just right. McDonald-Douglas was not amused - at all.
roger wrote:Uzi with a peace symbol almost sounds familiar. Many years ago I worked in a shop (machine) that did lots of profile mill work for military prime and subcontractors. Sure 'nuff, one of the guys playfully cut piece symbols into the fuel tank supports for one of the fighter aircraft we were making parts for. The final cuts and finishing left a nice outline of when the light was just right. McDonald-Douglas was not amused - at all.
Talk about no sense of hunor, whatta a drag
I had a bf once who in his office X-Mas party received a thong. They did it on purpose too, and it was a pink one, really funny... =( and wsn't my size )=
Currently in the process of moving house, I've come face to face with years of unfortunate gifts. In the basement, there is an entire shelving unit called the "what-were-they-thinking" shelves.
Besides the tchotchkes (I'm a minimalist of the modernist type ~ I don't do ornate or floral, folks!) there are many items that are not necessarily bad, except that I am a single person. One. Uno. Solo. I have no need for a vegetable steamer that does 20 servings, an electric carving knife for my single portion meat, the huge coffee maker, or anything that could conceivably be prefixed by "mega".
Kinda makes me wonder if anyone really knows me.
This holiday season, it was all gathered into a box and donated to charity. Happy holidays from my friends & relatives!
Oh, and for Part B of Farmerman's query: I have no qualms about re-gifting the inappropriate gift. Nor do I get upset if someone disposes of my gift to them. If it's a gift then what I do with it is totally at my discretion. If it comes with strings attached then it's not really a gift at all, in which case there should be some negotiation prior to presentation, and maybe a contract drawn up. At the very least, a small-print page of Terms & Conditions and the right of refusal.
I hate waste. Better that the gift goes to someone who could want and/or use it.
Bingo. Why leave it in to gather dust if someone can wear/eat/use/etc. the gift?
Hmmm, we got some bad things for our wedding and my bridal shower, lo these many years ago. We were living in Mineola, NY and had a horribly-colored kitchen, which could not be changed because it was a rental. And then someone gave me a trivet in orange, green and yellow, garish flowers all over the tile. It matched the kitchen perfectly, which is what I told her (hey, I was honest!) in my thank you note. We managed to "forget" it when we moved a few years later.
This year, for the Yankee swap, I got a bag of organic vegan cashews. But they had both salt and sugar, so I'm betting they were nasty. My husband took 'em to work.
This morning in the newspaper Miss Manners pointed out that "It's the thought that counts" is still a valid (nay, a mandatory) reaction to most gifts.
She did allow as how some thoughts weren't worth very much.
Well, weve made it through Christmas and , after the ordy of unwrapping presents and losing cats in the gift wrapping paper (they love to burrow into a pile of paper like they were great toys), we recieved another one from somebody who , probably was making a statement about the "Library of Congress" look of our place. It was a little framed quote by William Penn
"Have few booksw but well selected" Well that was ok for the Penns cause they were busy moving about until they settles down in North philly.
I think that something hits you when you hit the mid fifties, and its "Whats all this **** around me?"
And most of it ws given us. Im certainly grateful that weve had loved ones and freiends so generous but some of this stuff gets moved into the attic where its becoming a "timecapsule"
Hey jespah, we have a Lattke supper Tuesnite and we want to take a little gift thaT doesnt embody "Chochkie"
Lucky to have chockie things!
In my day, we had to hunt down our own chochkie things, from rubbush piles, and eat them on christmas day.
With dripping.
oh dear..
Momma I love you but..
THe most horrid of all gifts... the dollar store "glass" figurine..
you KNOW the ones I am talking about.. the cost you 5.99 cents and have horrible paint jobs, horrible colors and look like they were made with clear play dough.
my dearest mum gives those out. Well , she USED to. I havent gotten one in about 6 years..
But those were what I called recycle gifts.
I would keep the box, and at the last minute, if I forgotten a little girl, a so-so friend , or whom ever, that is the present they would get.
Most of the time I wanted to write on the cards, to the people who got my recycle gifts
Merry christmas-
Sorry, remind me sooner next year and I promise to find something else for you..
farmerman wrote:Well, weve made it through Christmas and , after the ordy of unwrapping presents and losing cats in the gift wrapping paper (they love to burrow into a pile of paper like they were great toys), we recieved another one from somebody who , probably was making a statement about the "Library of Congress" look of our place. It was a little framed quote by William Penn
"Have few booksw but well selected" Well that was ok for the Penns cause they were busy moving about until they settles down in North philly.
I think that something hits you when you hit the mid fifties, and its "Whats all this **** around me?"
And most of it ws given us. Im certainly grateful that weve had loved ones and freiends so generous but some of this stuff gets moved into the attic where its becoming a "timecapsule"
Hey jespah, we have a Lattke supper Tuesnite and we want to take a little gift thaT doesnt embody "Chochkie"
How 'bout a bottle of Kosher wine? Or maybe the fixings that go along with latkes, like sour cream and apple sauce (if you can get 'em nice, I mean stuff not just found at the local grocery). Hmmm.
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