Mommy Tantrums

Why not buy her a cuddly stuffed animal named "big boy", and tell her that from now on "big boy" is waiting in the new big bed for her and sleeping with her, so they both can get used
to the new bigger bed.

her baby bed is very low to the ground so everything , including the diaper pail was in reach.. and it wasnt before.
safety reasons, all of it was taken out.
We dont want anything she can climb on now that her bed is low enough she can get in and out freely.
Since i couldnt put her back in her crib for the night in fear of her throwing herself out again.. we had to do the whole 'baby proofing' in her room and over night.



nope. same room. Diffrent bed.


at this point i wish she did have an attachment to one toy.. but she doesnt. She never really has. She will have an attachment to a stuffed toy for a day or two but that is it. She always puts stuffed toys OUT of her bed when she goes to sleep ( the crib that is) .. so i never really pushed for her to try to sleep with a toy..

DD-
I did try that with her. Yesterday night, this morning while we were playing and a little before nap.
I guess I was just expecting that to be enough.. > sigh< stress does that to ya..
maybe, a few DAYS instead of minutes .. of that might help more.

Maybe do something to make the room more familiar, too -- the way I understand it, it's the same room, but everything that was in it was taken out and the new bed is the only thing currently in it. I'm not sure if any of the stuff that WAS in it can be put back, but maybe stuff from her playroom, or anything that is familiar to her.

Will definitely be a transition, period, the secret is getting YOURSELF through it so you can be a guide to her. That means maybe canceling a job, maybe insisting that your husband take a sick day to give you a break, something.

Unless having some time to yourself, out of the house, making money, is itself therapeutic.

I think lots of good points have been made here about why the transition will plain be necessary -- one I'd add is that you described your response to each fall as (understandably) panicked, kids pick up on that and after a run of those, no matter what the circumstances, she'll be wired. So you have a whole bunch of things to overcome at once:

- New room (even if it's the same room, just rearranged)
- New bed
- Scary experiences
- Scary experiences specifically associated with falling asleep
- Everyone getting more and more upset and getting each other more and more upset

You're going to have to be the calm and steady one to get her through this, as difficult as it may be. I agree with DrewDad's advice for what to do, specifically. It won't happen right away, and that's where it's going to be really tough -- when it almost happens, and doesn't -- but she'll calm down.

perfect..!
Tonight, after work ( ( this will also be a great mommy break as well ) )
Im going to go shopping for a good fuzzy toy.
Each time I make her bed, i will put him in it
As we get ready for bed time/ nap time, i will make him a part of it..

(Oh this is fast-moving. Some of that was covered.)

I think once the immediate crisis is past, you can work together on making her room a place she loves. Make some beautiful art together to put on the walls. Make a home for her stuffed animals. I love the idea of either deputizing one or else getting a new one that will be special. Sozlet's favorite, Beary, became her favorite when he was deputized to help her feel cozy and comfy in her new bed -- before that she hadn't really latched on to any of them. And it still wasn't her idea -- I chose the softest and (I hoped) most durable stuffed animal, and started making a big deal about how wonderful he was and giving him to her every night. Now he's one of her best friends. :-)

If something scares Yaya, she talks about it for weeks.

that is a great idea as well... I never looked at it that way.
I just see it as the same room and forget, everything that was familiar is now gone. Except one big heavy dresser, but even it is turned around...


.

he did this yesterday..
but he didnt have much time so I only got about 4 hours and that was taking turns with Jillian..
and that DID help a bunch..
he gets more time on the 1st.. ( friday) I think I will ask him to do it again if this is still a problem..
or have him do it just because I will probally need the break anyways..

-- .

Now that im a bit calmer, i am realizing these things and seeing it through her little eyes..
this is alot on her plate.
And i really screwed this up..
but flip side.. I can see what I did wrong and change it, and now that the screaming makes a bit more sense, maybe i wont be so off set by it again..
.

Definatly.
We are going to do another room 'tour ' when she is done with her sandwich..
then I will have Ian give her one as well when I am working..

Also, if I may ask, what was your nighttime routine before all of this happened?

I know that after your trip to ABQ there was a bad transition, but not sure how long that lasted/ what ended up happening.

From what I've heard from friends, any form of "cry it out" nighttime parenting goes through a really rough stretch when the kid is old enough to climb out of the crib. This is not to scare you (and I almost didn't write it because I know the last thing you need is more on your mind) but something to integrate into your plan, as you make a plan. And I do think some sort of plan is really useful for this sort of situation -- flexibility is important, of course, but I've found that the "throw stuff at the problem and see what sticks" approach is stressful for both the child and parent. Not least because many things plain don't stick for a while -- as in, even if it is the right approach, it has to be consistently applied for a while before it has any effect.

(This is one of the haaaaaaaaaaaaaaard parts about being a parent. You'll get through it, don't worry.)

times like this I wish Bean were talking...
dont get me wrong, she has a few clear words.. but most of it is still baby jabber..

so, if ya ya is scared.. re-visiting the source of fear .. is a good tool?

Revisting it in a safe way, with Mommy and/or Daddy right there, works for us.

Should have seen her when I put on a Darth Vader mask and started talking to her... not a good scene.

But then we talked about masks, playing dress up, showed her the mask, let her try it on. Then she couldn't care less if I were wearing the mask.

Yep, good advice.

You can also just spend non-directed time in her room -- especially if you have some stuff from her playroom there. Just hanging out, having fun, letting her familiarize herself with the new configuration and make some new, positive correllations without it necessarily being the point/ what you're explicitly talking about.

damn soz,, you give me good questions to think about..

i will write later tonight. I have to get ready to go to work right now.

thanks a ton you guys.
you saved my hair and it appreciates being in my scalp instead of torn out by the roots and strewn out all over the floor... ;-)

Take care, shewolf.

Sozlet wanted to know what this was all about, I told her and asked if she had any advice. She said that you should bring the crib back, put cushions/ a mattress around it so she can't hurt herself if she falls out, and then leave the toddler bed in her room so that she can get used to it.

Hmmm....

That reminds me though, our crib had a thing where you could take off one side, so it became a toddler bed (but without the upper rail part). I don't suppose that's an option for you guys?

Geez louise, the little angels can be hell sometimes.

I know it prolly doesn't help, shewolf, but tomorrow's another day. Kids do adjust to stuff, they do.

I've got no advice, only sympathy.

Those everything has changed and I don't like it days are absolute murder.

Hang in there, shewolf.

We were telling Yaya about Bean.

She responded, "I think she's sad."

P&C advice, the next generation...

SheWolf--

Believe me Bean's present ructions are temporary.

Granted, you don't need vigorous hysterics in a three-generation house, but Bean needs to voice discontent right this minute.

She will not be scarred for life. Cross my heart and hope to die, she will not be scarred for life.

Hold your dominion.

A thimble of vodka perhaps?

or not...

How'd it go, shewolf?