My GF thinks I'm looking at every girl in the street.....

I'm a girl but here's my take on it:

If I had to spend my days with someone who was either so insecure or so manipulative that I had to edit every thought that crossed my mind I would just sit down and cry.

Then I would run the other direction.

You can reassure her until the cows come home and she probably won't ever change because this is not really about you, it's about her.

Bingo.

It's natural to feel jealously when it's appropropriate. (You have a naked woman hanging on you). It's not appropropriate to flip out when you notice and mention a beautiful woman.

If you are not looking at every woman on the street, have a friend check for a pulse. If you are chasing every woman on the street, i'd not only think her justified in shooting you, i'd load the gun for her.

This is tempest in a teapot stuff as far as looking is concerned. My Sweetiepie always says that if i ever stop flirting with every woman in sight, she will check for a pulse.

Boom is absolutely correct, however, that the mere fact that this is an issue with your Sweetiepie Girl definitely is an important matter. You need either to work this through with her, or suggest to here that she is not ready for a commitment.

Has anything happened--or changed--recently in her life or in your life together that would account for this new behavior?

Boom, Bella and Setanta are spot on.

Roystonius, this is a very serious issue, and it appears to stem from her, not you. (unless there is some ungodly skeletons in your closet of which you've not revealed.) Eitherway, if you are considering a long-term marriage-type arrangement I would strongly urge you both to go to pre-marital counseling. A good counselor will arm you both with tools that will allow you to discover what each other is about, and find ways to deal with issues such as this.

Also, be open to the potential fact that this person may not be right for you. Keep an open mind, and don't rush into anything. This is a big step to overcome.

Best luck!

I'm kind of in your girlfriends shoes so i thought i'd give you a different perspective on the matter.
When i know that my boyfriend is looking at porn and then comes up to me wanting to have sex, it just makes me feel like he's thinking about other girls and not me. Personally, I can't NOT think about my boyfriend when we're having sex or even when im just by myself. and the thought that he's thinking about someone else, is just painful.
Furthermore if you're always commenting on how beautiful the girls around her are, and never complimenting her, of course she's going to feel like you want someone else.
and whatever you do, don't break her trust. because once you do it's almost impossible to win in back....

If your comments about girls on the street were only a few months ago, she could easily have been harboring hurt about that all this time. Were you noticing the insecurity before that?

I know the other responses you've gotten have been pretty much of the, "she's messed up, drop her," type, but you sound like you're surprised by her new insecurity, and care enough to want to understand, not just drop her.

It is hard (I don't care what the big strong people say ) to hear a boyfriend comment on other girls. No one thinks you can not notice a pretty girl, but you don't need to tell your girlfriend. That was a mistake. And she could still be hurt about it.

I can hear the big strong people again-- "She shouldn't still be hurting over that! Of course he looks at other girls! What does she expect, him to not notice pretty girls?" But there's a difference between realizing that, naturally, your boyfriend notices other girls, and actually having to hear about it. Some people get their feelings hurt by things like that, and some people don't.

So maybe you need to ask yourself, 1. Is the insecurity really a new problem, and can I help her with it? and 2. If it's not really new and she's just a more insecure person (some of us are ), then do you accept that as just one of the imperfections you deal with in a relationship, or is it unacceptable to you?

Also, does she (don't answer this here, I'm just suggesting you answer this honestly in your own mind) have some reason to wonder if you're watching the "other" channels? It sort of seems like that would be based on something, so maybe consider if these trust issues are based on anything that's happened before...

I had a really insecure girlfriend before. Best thing I did was dump her. I stayed in the relationship thinking she'd get better. Nope. It's because she's got issues. Everything to her was a big deal. Other women around me...hanging out with my friends....going to a strip club for a bachelor party...uh, and getting upset for not apparent reason.

I really don't comment on other women when with someone though...unless I'm making fun of them. Females know you check out other women, and they check out other guys. I don't think it's ridiculous for a girl not to like hearing comments on other women though.

slappy are you haveing a slow night? I didn't laugh my ass off from your post

Your post reminded me of what a relationship is like, namely the idea that something you thought was forgotten really wasn't. Things like that are natural, it probably was forgotten but things come and go and sometimes it doesn't take much to dig up old feelings. One thing to think about is perhaps this is something you do with her as well in another way that you aren't even aware of.

Thankyou all for your advice, We will bOTH be going to see a concillor in the near future.

Thanks again.

good

That's great!

Well she needs to get over it becuz even if u were loookin at other girls ur human right u have eyes right u can look but not touch if u are commited to her then what does she have to worry about. u go home to her right so why is she worried she hasno reason to be

oops, sorry for the silly posts two in a row, it was a boo-boo... hee hee

"If you are not looking at every woman on the street, have a friend check for a pulse"

LMAO. That reply deserves an applause! *applauds*

My friend, always with a bit of a smile, often tells me of her sister's honeymoon.

The sister and her new husband agrued the whole time. They had traveled to Hawaii to spend a week on the beach together; she wore modest beach attire, but her husband gawked at each and every bikini-clad woman who walked by, and boy, there were a ton of them. Woman after woman. She was miserable the whole time and did her best to make her husband miserable, too, though I'm not sure how much success she had...

Some honeymoon! I would have gone out and bought a bikini at the first shop I could find!

These people are not still married, are they?

Their marriage is actually still intact, but I don't especially envy their relationship.

I always forget how many times women want to take responsibility for everything, Eva. As a male, I see it as his mistake and nothing more, and the thought never occured to me that she might have become a "bikini-babe" herself (though I'm not sure that it would have changed anything).

So, being the proactive guy that I am, if I ever hit the beach with a woman in my life, I'll just save her the trouble and purchase a micro-swimsuit for her...