Friends With Benifits???

How old are you, helplessteen?

Have you talked to your parents about relationships with others?

Do you have any adult that you can talk to about how relationships form and develop?

I'm 14 hes 15. I have to lie to my parents if I want to see Taylor... why would I want to tell them about it??? He is a really sweet guy, I know it. I wouldn't be attracted to him if I thought he was wrong for me (not that I need to be figuring that out anyway). I'm very picky about guys. Taylor is a very mature person, he knows when to goof off and when to be serious about things. I'm just not sure if he likes me or not, I mean to make out with someone you have to like them or think they are attractive and stuff or you woulden't do it...

I must be getting old. I feel for your parents as I read your posts.

Helplessteen,
Is there any adult at all that you feel comfortable talking to? A sister or brother, an aunt, a cousin? 14 is a rough time - I remember. You are just at the beginning of the journey of learning what relationships are made of. You are still growing and learning about who you are.

I'll pass on to you a nugget of truth concerning boys:
If you feel you need to hide or lie in order to be with him; he isn't worth it.

Actually, that could apply to friends and any relationship. Why would you hide something unless you felt there was something to be ashamed of? And why would you want to be in a situation that fills you with doubt and shame?

Anyways, that's my

Oh, and, Never Worry if a Boy likes you!! Never!! It's a waste of time!!
Instead, worry about what you think and feel. It's the only place you have choice and control.

p.s. Give your folks a break. You may believe you can hide from them, but they know.

It's not that I'm ashamed. It's just my parents would never let me go to Taylor's house to 'hang out', and especially when his mom isn't home, I mean seriously... So I mean I have to lie if I want to see him and I do, because I love being with him. (and I don't mean 'with him' as in sex, because I don't want to have sex yet..skanky for a 14 year old)

Well, now that you have heard everyone's comments, do you see things any differently than before?
I think you got an answer to your question.
Most folks here feel that this is a bad situation for you to put yourself in.
It's up to you now if you decide to think about it, or to continue doing what you were doing.

Yes, and thank you all, for your help.

Bingo.

I remember this time really, really well. And, the truth is, you don't want to tell your folks because you are hoping something will happen. Perhaps not sex, just kissing and cuddling. And you can't exactly do that with the folks around, as they insist on pesky things like open doors and knowing what you're doing and asking if you want a snack. That kinda thing.

But yanno something? There's a reason why your folks do such things. It's because you should not be in a position where this kind of cuddling goes on and on. Because it really only leads in one direction. And that's not a slam on him or you -- it's a fact. It's how human bodies work. It's how human minds work. Inevitably, someone (either you or him or both) becomes dissatisfied with the status quo and wants more. And more inevitably means going further.

Do your parents even know about this guy at all? Have they ever met him? Anything? You might want to try what we call in the computer business a smoke test -- see what happens if you have him over with your folks home. Does he run screaming? Do your parents hate him? Or do they allow him there, so long as the door is open and they know (more or less) what you are doing? You may find that they're okay with him so long as it's not a makeout session. And see if he (and you) can handle all of that. Better that than sneaking around.

Yes, the synic is back. All teenagers know more than their parents. All teenagers look at their parents as being old and not know what's going on and don't know anything. The truth is in plain view. If you cannot tell your parents where you are going, who you are going to be with and what you will be doing; then YOU are wrong. You are seeing him for only one reason. Make out sessions. Your 14 hes 15. He has already told his friends what he's planning on doing with/to you. He is hormonal driven. What do his parents think about you two suckin face for hours? How does he treat his parents? What's the nicest thing he has said about you? What's the worst thing he has said to/about you?
You said you don't want to be a "skank," well you better take a good look at that road that you are walking.
If you don't talk to your parents for whatever reason, never say that your parents don't care. You are the one thats leading the life of lies.
If you are 14 and looking on a2k for advice, and you are not talking to your parents, you have issues that you and your parents need to resolve-FAST.
If you can't talk to your parents, you better find a responsible adult in a hurry.
I'll close with a sarcastic comment: I might be wrong, but I doubt it.

Yeah, your wrong. I have a great relastionship with my parents. I have decided that I have moved on from Taylor, I shoulden't be doing that because its not right, so I am going to put a end to this whenever I talk to him next.

Good girl helpless. You've made the right decision to not let
Taylor take advantage of you.

Keep on telling your self that it's going to be harder than it sounds...

the next time you see him should be as soon as you can make it happen. Get it over and done with.
I know I often sound harsh. It's because I am. You have a life to live. Don't waste your time with people who make you feel bad.

helplessteen - the last time you posted here, you were very upset about your parents smoking pot - said you couldn't talk to them about it - your relationship with them at that time didn't seem to be very good?

You've also posted on this thread that

ralphb responded

and you said

If your relationship with your parents is great - talk to them. Not necessarily about the details of what you and Taylor have been doing - but about relationships and sex - they're the ones that ought to be there for you to talk to.

If the relationship really isn't that great, please find an adult you can talk to about this sort of thing. It's important to have an adult you like, and can trust, to talk to about sex and relationships.

It's always best, and nicest, if it can be your parents - but the reality is that it sometimes needs to be someone else - a teacher, a minister, another relative.

Take care of yourself.

OMG shes 14, shes not a child she knows about that stuff. You wouldn't talk to a teacher or minister about that stuff! You might if you living in "Full House" world... If she says she has a good relationship with her parents then she does... It obviously has changed. She said she was going to do it, so why don't we just wait and see if she has??

Sorry, DTS, my past reading of the poster wouldn't lead me to believe that if she says something that it is the case.

I've learned to be skeptical.

~~~~~~~~

There is no way for us to know the truth of what she says. All we can do is wish her well.

Well it makes sense to bring it up, but your going to make her feel worse if you treat her like a child... So thats all I'm saying because I'm 16 and I remember from two years ago. My apologies too.

Well I did it... I feel amazingly better now. I told you guys I would do it!!... thanks for all of your help I think I could have figured this out for myself but I believe it would have taken much longer. Thanks again!