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Thu 17 Nov, 2005 05:01 pm
Okay, so I have this friend Taylor. We have know each other for 3 years. He lives down the street from me and well he told me he thought that I was always hot, after I told him how I felt about him which was that I liked him for a long time and that I didn't say anything before because he had a girlfriend. He broke up with her over the summer. We started talking on Yahoo! and well we flirted and stuff, but then I don't know what happened. One day I went to his house and we made out and well 2 months later... we made out again. 3 weeks later I went to his house and we made out for like 2 hours and we were all over each other, but I don't want to have sex or anything. Things always get messed up after we do this and its like, is he just using me? He told me he once thought that. There was a time when I did think that but I was like "No, not Taylor." I just have no idea what to do. I feel like I am being used and then I don't. I really like him but I don't know if he feels the same way about me, its really frustrating and sometimes he is such an asshole to me. What should I do and do you think he is using me??
Yes, helpless, he is using you and if I were you,
I'd stop going to his house. If he would respect
you, he would not treat you this way, and if he'd be
truly interested in you, he call you and ask you
out on a date.
If you sell yourself short, you'll also get the short end of
the stick.
It definitely sounds like he's using you to me.
OK here we go. First, how old are the two of you? Next, like wow, like i dunno, like ya know?
Ok I got that out of my system. If he can't treat you right, bail. Second, If he can't or won't take you on dates, he aint worth being around. If your fun times with him are just suckin face then I don't see why you want to be around him. I'm a bit older so I don't understand what teenagers mean when they say flirted and stuff and made out. I know what those terms meant when I was a teenager, but as Dylan said "the times they are a changin."
If he's in it to get his jollies off, you will have a nasty reputation that you don't want, don't need, and will never be able to get rid of. Unless of course that's your goal.
Good luck and be treated by people the way you deserve to be treated.
Yup, he's using you.
And guess what?! You are using him too!
Back off from this dude. The scene is bad news.
What's making out - and how isn't it sex?
<I can never tell in these threads>
Oh, yeah. He is using you. No doubt about it. Like others have said.... What happened to the dates? Taylor is taking advantage of a vulnerable young girl. Find other interests.
Ummm... Okay.... I'll step outside the box here and make a true confession:
I had a mutually benefitting "friend" that went on for years and years.
It worked because I didn't want this guy for a boyfriend.
And he didn't want me for a girlfriend.
And we only saw each other when neither was entangled with anyone else.
And much of the time we didn't even live in the same city (but we visited that city on occassion).
So if your enjoying it and you're not wanting something more and if you're using protection then.... have fun.
Girls are allowed to be sexual beings too, you know.
helplessteen told us on another thread that her parents wouldn't be getting into heaven because they're potheads.
Quote: I WANT TO SEE MY PARENTS IN HEAVEN BUT I WILL NEVER GET TO BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE POTHEADS!!
a2k link
I suspect a heaven that doesn't allow potheads is also not going to allow friends with benefits.
Were you thinking about it?
helplessteen wrote:Okay, so I have this friend Taylor. We have know each other for 3 years. He lives down the street from me and well he told me he thought that I was always hot, after I told him how I felt about him which was that I liked him for a long time and that I didn't say anything before because he had a girlfriend. He broke up with her over the summer. We started talking on Yahoo! and well we flirted and stuff, but then I don't know what happened. One day I went to his house and we made out and well 2 months later... we made out again. 3 weeks later I went to his house and we made out for like 2 hours and we were all over each other, but I don't want to have sex or anything. Things always get messed up after we do this and its like, is he just using me? He told me he once thought that. There was a time when I did think that but I was like "No, not Taylor." I just have no idea what to do. I feel like I am being used and then I don't. I really like him but I don't know if he feels the same way about me, its really frustrating and sometimes he is such an **** to me. What should I do and do you think he is using me??
I believe we are witnessing the rebirth of Charles Dickens.
Ah.
Catching up.
I agreed with flush'd, she said what I was thinking.
I am entirely supportive of boomer's report of actions taken, and don't get me started on mine.
But.. point is, one is not the little violet victim of use here.
And early use has consequences re sequencing of awakening pleasure.
I suppose I should add... I am not against relatively early so much as I am against total lack of finesse..early.
We have so so so much in common though he has noticed it too and I know for sure at one point he did like me but I'm not to sure anymore. I'll show you this conversation that we had on Yahoo! a few days later...
Taylor (11/13/2005 10:15:38 PM): look I sometimes felt like I was using you, but it wasnt like I wanted to, I mean I even told John { a friend of mine } that I think you would be better off with a boyfriend, but I mean I dont want you to feel like I am even though you probably do so yeah, that question is sorta hard to answer, even though you probably don't think this but I do care, I don't mean to it just I can't resist myself everytime you come over
idk.... what do you think of that?
Helpless, you need to learn how to understand what people are saying to you. I'm sorry to say it, but Taylor obviously does not care about you.
And, of course you have a lot in common, you're both human beings. We all have mostly the same emotions so if you want to relate to someone, you can do it...you have not given any indication that he actually has anything noteworthy in common with you.
Finally, you might want to direct Taylor to the link in your message.
edit - Deleted, I'll just let you figure it out because I think that's the only way for you.
Helpless - are you helpless? No. Part of going from child to adult is taking over control of what you do with your own time. The trouble is that when we all really start paying attention to doing that ... is when we are most vulnerable to the confusion of energetic hormones, desire to be appreciated as oneself just as you are getting to know yourself, and - often - difficulty at home re discussing anything that matters to you.
Sexual love with someone you love who loves you back is very precious. Also... cough... a tad unusual re the percentages...
Don't let your need to be appreciated get in the way of a clear-eyed view. First appreciate yourself.
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