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Wed 2 Nov, 2005 07:40 am
1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians? A licker cabinet.
2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? A Klondyke.
3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? Militia Etheridge.
4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.
5. Why do lesbians like to be reincarnated as whales? So they can have 10 foot tongues and breathe out of the tops of their heads.
6. What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur Traders.
7. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? A Lickalotapuss.
8. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well Hung.
9. What do two lesbians do when they are having their periods? Fingerpaint.
10. What do lesbians call an open can of tuna? POTPOURRI.
11. What did the lesbian vampire say to her partner? See you next month.
12. Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres drowned? She was found face down in Ricki Lake.
13. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table doesn't have balls.
14. Do you know what drag is? It's when a man wears everything a lesbian won't.
15. What do you call lesbian twins? Lick-a-likes.
16. How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? She kick-starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
17. What's the definition of confusion? Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.
18. What's the difference between a ritz cracker and a lesbian? One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH
thanks for the laugh!!!!
those are great
I am so sending these to my lesbian friend hahahaha thanks!
Those are awesome.
What do you call a Chinese lesbian?
Lickety-Split.
I had a friend who worked in a building supplies store. He told me once that women are like oak flooring. Some are square-edged, some are tongue-in-groove.
Lesbian......
Catch22
I haven't seen so much corn since I was in the produce section at the grocery store!
Actually, I'm surprised the mods haven't yanked this thread. Not because it's raunchy, that's okay. But isn't lesbian-bashing a form of homophobia, which is definitely a no-no according to the TOS? Then, gain, maybe humor isn't considered 'bashing.'
MA- I absolutely agree. I really wonder what the reaction would be if these jokes were about perceived characteristics of Jews, or blacks, or some other group.
Some of those are rather clever...I don't know whether to stifle my giggles. Is it wrong to laugh because lesbians are a minority? I mean is it ok to laugh at a hetero joke because they're the majority? What if it was split 50/50 would it be wrong to laugh at either sets of jokes?
Just musing here....
DON'T YOU LAUGH!!!
I almost burst out laughing in public at something last week...I swear if it happened the ground would have opened right then and I'd have been sucked down to hell.
That's when it's bad...if you walked up to a group of butch lesbians and started busting out the jokes.
That wouldn't be advisable, Slappy. Some of them carry knives in those jackboots they sometimes wear.
Merry Andrew wrote:That wouldn't be advisable, Slappy. Some of them carry knives in those jackboots they sometimes wear.
Exactly. And I heard if a lesbian hears of you joking about her sexuality on the internet, she may hop in her Subaru Forrester, hunt you down, and run you right over...that is, of course if Ellen isn't on at that time.
Lets face it. Homosexuals tell the best gay jokes. Jews tell the best jewish jokes.
The only group that stands out is blondes, who for some reason aren't very good at blonde jokes.
:wink:
Hi all,
I presume we are in the jokes section of the forum & not in a debate. The intent was only to generate a healthy laugh & not to hurt any groups sentiments. If every group keeps nitpicking something or other, then where is the humor? Let's not get too serious about all this. Sorry, no offence meant to anyone in particular.
Hey, I'm blonde, Irish, a woman, and I work in P.R. And as far as I'm concerned, all of you are free to make as many jokes as you like about blondes, the Irish, women and public relations/advertising. Go right ahead. You have my permission. I'll probably laugh louder than any of you!
So this fellow walked into a Bar, and sat there at a table was a blonde, a Colleen and a P.R. woman .............
Lord Pus, here's one you can tell your mates down at the snuggery.
Little Veronica asked her mum if she could take the pet poodle for a walk.
Mum frowned and said:"I wouldn't advise it, Coco is in heat"
So Veronica goes to her father and says "May I take Coco for a walk?"
Her Dad says the dog's in heat but he has an idea so Veronica follows him to the garage where dad proceeds to soak a rag with petrol and then he rubs it all over little Coco's rear end.
That should keep her from harm he says and Veronica skips out the front door with Coco in tow.
An hour later Veronica comes home alone and dad says "What on earth happened to Coco?"
Veronica anwers "Daddy, Coco must have run out of petrol because the last I saw of her some dog was pushing her down the street!!"
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