Manipulative people: What do YOU do?

Refuse to go along. Don't argue or fuss about it but simply refuse to be manipulated. It's fun because it frustrates them to no end. People who manipulate usually think they're smarter than everyone else on the planet so cutting them down to size is always fun.

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Good advice.
There are some people in my life that are rude, sarcastic and generally love to put people/me down.
Its only recently that I have learned to say ok/alright then kind of comments to the persons comments.
If you start an argument they know their comment has got to you and they are the winners.

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Some manipulative people can also drain you of energy. They are like energy vampires. We have one in our family, who has hurt herself, and many in the family with her attitude. Slowly he is loosing friends, and family.

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Personaly i'm very easily manipulated so anyone that i find to be manipulative is usually someone i then ignore. Sometimes that isn't always possible, any time i get involved with someone manipulative i let them walk all over me until they've hurt me so much all i can do is walk away. Trying to be understanding of why someone is manipulative doesn't change the fact that they hurt to get what they want.

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AngeliqueEast wrote:

Some manipulative people can also drain you of energy. They are like energy vampires. We have one in our family, who has hurt herself, and many in the family with sher attitude. Slowly he is loosing friends, and family.

Forgot the S in he. Confused

http://www.2000greetings.com/meow_bullet.jpg

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I have a couple of very manipulative relatives. My first line of defense is to be less available than they'd like. I don't answer the phone if it's not a good time for me and I return calls but not until I feel like it. This availability issue is huge for me. I used to feel that I should be available to the people I care about, period.

Also, as eoe says, I just refuse to do their bidding when necessary.

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mac 11 maintains the upper hand and that's the only way to keep those kinds of family relatiuonships in check. Be bothered with them only when you feel like it.

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eoe wrote:

Refuse to go along. Don't argue or fuss about it but simply refuse to be manipulated.

It's a little hard to do this, IMO. It takes time for us to find one's personality.

I met one guy recently, he always thinks he know how human's heart work,
he finds he's the smartest, can easily control women's hearts,
but he forgets the basic things, like honesty, responsibility ...

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Best thing to do is put some distance between you and that person.

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Thanks all.

Yeah, I have some of these folks in my life (family). There is one in particular who has been Extremely difficult to deal with right now. She knows how to play all the right cards, and has no problem pulling out trumps!

I think I have some lingering Catholic guilt in me Embarrassed

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so what if you LIVE with the person?
How would you hande that?
I would, once I identify the behavior, begin to " call them on it"

My example is my mother in law. She manipulates her son with some horrible words. As soon as she is done with her game, before he has the chance to answer her, I look at him and say " Do you like being manipulated that way? Or am I crazy...?"

I know NOW she is totally aware of what she says because she wont say those things in front of me anymore. ;-)

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I agree, shewolf, if I lived with a manipulative person, I'd be forced to call them on it. Distance wouldn't be an option.

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One of the problems with manipulative people, is that they know how to "push buttons", and cause one to become defensive. One way that I have learned to deal with a "certain" manipulator is to neutralize what he is saying.

For instance, he says, "You were supposed to do so and so, and you didn't do it".

I answer, "You are right, I didn't do it".

Now I know that whatever it was that I didn't do. There is no reason to remind me. The point of his remark is not to remind me, but to elicit guilt, and to maintain a one-upsmanship position. I used to fall right into that trap. I don't anymore.

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One of the problems with manipulative people, is that they know how to "push buttons", and cause one to become defensive. One way that I have learned to deal with a "certain" manipulator is to neutralize what he is saying.

For instance, he says, "You were supposed to do so and so, and you didn't do it".

I answer, "You are right, I didn't do it".

Now I know that whatever it was that I didn't do. There is no reason to remind me. The point of his remark is not to remind me, but to elicit guilt, and to maintain a one-upsmanship position. I used to fall right into that trap. I don't anymore.

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One of the problems with manipulative people, is that they know how to "push buttons", and cause one to become defensive. One way that I have learned to deal with a "certain" manipulator is to neutralize what he is saying.

For instance, he says, "You were supposed to do so and so, and you didn't do it".

I answer, "You are right, I didn't do it".

Now I know that whatever it was that I didn't do. There is no reason to remind me. The point of his remark is not to remind me, but to elicit guilt, and to maintain a one-upsmanship position. I used to fall right into that trap. I don't anymore.

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The real sickening thing is,

They can make you want to devote when they think you are useful,

when you're useless for them, theý can have so much pretext to make you feel shitty!
Evil or Very Mad

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manipulative inlaw
I have a mother inlaw who states things she will do without asking me and I don't know how to get out of it or what to say. She says things like"I'm glad I met (my daughters(2 yr old) teachers @ school) so when I pick her up I'll know them. I have never discussed this with her or told her that she could do this...What answer can I have?

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Perhaps living so close to your mother in law is not a good idea for reasons like these?

If you don't feel comfortable with her proposition, you might say something like, "Well, I think it would be good for her to take the bus home."

If you say something like, "Oh, really you don't have to do that" she will probably just say "It's no trouble!"

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clairedan wrote:

The real sickening thing is,

They can make you want to devote when they think you are useful,

when you're useless for them, they´ can have so much pretext to make you feel shitty!

One thing to remember, claire. 'They' can't MAKE you do anything if YOU are in charge of your own actions. Now, if you allow others to control you and make you feel this way or that, then you're in for a tough ride.

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Manipulative people: What do YOU do?

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