Dear [random ____ I saw today], I love you.

Dear people who deliver food. You don't know me, and I haven't even seen you yet today, but tonight you will deliver something tasty that is not turkey, for RP and I are the only ones here and we have a 12 1/2 pound turkey and so, starting tomorrow, we will be eating turkey until at least the solstice.

Please bring fries with whatever we want, even if it's Chinese food. Thanks in advance. PS I love you.

Dear that moment at college today, i love you.

Dear new email pen pal, I love your very long warm letters. No one has ever written long letters to me before, only short ones. You are open and sincere my beautiful Dragon. It's so easy to fall in love with someone like you. You warm my heart, and gently guide me with your words. I love you.

You got it then.........?

Got what Lordie?

Apparently she didn't get it.

Dear hot friendly waitress,
A little nieve and liquored up I advanced on the bar. Out of breath, I climbed the stool and held a battered twenty euro note high into the noisy air. You instantly spotted me and soon opened your lovely lips and enquired in a beautiful Polish accent, "What do you want?". Time slowed down to a crawl as my heart stopped beating. It seemed an eternity as I starred at your Pearl White teeth, recently dyed blond hair and a face that could soften even the hardest of hearts. "Tecila!" I roared in a drunken stupior, not realising that I had given her the finger by accident. Obediently she swung around, unleashing her perfect figure and subject of my later pathetic dreams.. With grace she lined up the shot and filled it with her alcoholic love. As my clumsy paws attempted to grab the glass, it fell over! A rush of emotion hit me like a train as I struggled to hold in my tears but you saved my life! You lined up another for free. Our hands touched as you handed me salt and prepared the lemon. The task at hand was made ever so easy under your loving gaze.
But alas I turned away... never to see her again...

Miss Barmaid... I love you...

Apparently not.

You look great Lordie in your new xmas jacket!

Dear nameless, scantily-clad dungeon dancer (www.getthewholething.com), who will soon put all previous sexy ad girls to shame, including Paris and her soap-drenching and burger-chomping, I love you.

Dear guy who works with my brother, I love you. You are smart and funny and you find me attractive. You are not my husband but you've given me that feeling of falling in love again. Thank you for that.

Thank you to the man who held the elevator door open for me, then held open the door to the building as we walked outside.

Thank you for that. It's nice to know there are still some gentlemen out there!

Dear waiter/owner of a bar/rock guitar player who served us some great red wines last night. Thank you for bringing me peanuts after I caught you looking at me a few times. That was very suave and sweet. Oh, and also for telling the annoyuing loud guys at the other table that you don't think you'll be able to find them when they demanded their peanuts. ha, that was great.

Dear Madame Zou Zou, thank you for taking the time to find the electric probe that I ordered, but forgot to pick up.


ps..I confirm that I will be able to attend the demonstration appointment, scheduled for 2.20pm on Monday.

Dear Lord E! Most of the time I read your posts and shake my head from side to side - not in disgust, but like the nanny did when she reported your misdeeds to Papa. But today for some reason (and I can't even remember what thread I was browsing) I saw a different you.
And you don't fool me one little bit any more!

OK, I'll admit it.


<AHEM>.....

My name Is Ellpus, and I appear to be normal on occasions.

Unusual facts are my speciality, and I sometimes like to give the A2K members the benefit of this knowledge, purely to broaden their horizons and be of assistance in their all round education.

For instance....Did you know that 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.

I think it's Colin.

it may well be you, ellpus. do you like chinese food?

He's squinting...

dear jehovah witness girl who came to the door today, you were absolutley beautiful and so very nice, shame about the whole wacky religion thing, or i could have seriously loved you

Now there's a tragic love story...