Mon 23 May, 2016 09:13 pm
I'm trying to locate the mangled anecdote in my mind I heard as a child, it was something like this:
A civil war general (or was it Churchill? I've got it all mangled) was asked by someone (Lincoln?) what he thought of another man (another officer or general?) and he gave a glowing report. Afterward someone asked him why, given that the man took every opportunity to speak ill of him an he answered something to the effect that he woudn't let the man's opinion of him color his opinion of the man.
That impressed me as a kid and always stuck with me but I have finally forgotten and mangled the anecdote in my mind (I swear I must be losing my memory as I age, I remembered it verbatim a few years ago).
Anyone know what I'm talking about? I have googled with no success.
one of Bill Watterson's 7 ruls of life is
"What other people think of you is none of your business"
I think the anecdote ended something like "he asked my opinion of him not about his opinion of me".
â€śIn a similar way, General Robert E. Lee once spoke to the president of the Confederacy, Jefferson Davis, in the most glowing terms about a certain officer under his command. Another officer in attendance was astonished. â€śGeneral,â€ť he said, â€śdo you not know that the man of whom you speak so highly is one of your bitterest enemies who misses no opportunity to malign you?â€ť â€śYes,â€ť replied General Lee, â€śbut the president asked my opinion of him; he did not ask for his opinion of me.â€ť
â€• Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People
I always go to Goodreads first, for quotes.
Robert E. Lee was asked what he thought of General Joe Johnston, a fellow officer in the Confederate Army. Lee rated him as being very satisfactory and made glowing comments about him. The person who asked the question seemed perplexed. "General," he said, "I guess you donâ€™t know what heâ€™s been saying about you."
"I know," answered Lee. "But I was asked my opinion of him, not his opinion of me!"
Thanks, this is the one with the original wording I read! I originally read it in a book of anecdotes that quoted from Carnegie extensively.
Thanks, this version isn't the original one I read as a child but adds who they were talking about.