I like the idea of people bringing crayons and the like. It seems a lot of folks expect the restaurant (or airplane, or train or whatever) to provide stuff like that, and then wonder why their kid is bored after 10 minutes and making up games like "let's see how many times I can hit my little brother before I get into real trouble". Mom and Dad might have to pack quite a bag, and bring it to a lot of places, but that would be helpful. I mean, does anyone honestly expect a four-year-old to have enough inner resources to keep him/herself entertained for an hour without getting into some form of mischief?
PS My brother and I were also taught formal manners, e. g. the voice you used in synagogue and the voice you used at home, and elbows off the table and the like.
.. but that is usually when the parents are just chatting away tuning the kid out ...
For me the question is : going out for dinner with the children, or taking them along to fill their stomachs. In my experience as long as the children are part of the company, when they are treated as persons, they never get wild. If I don't talk to them and listen to what they have to say, if I don't pay attention to them, if I don't include them, I am unfair.
If I knew I couldn't do this, business dinner or things like that, they got something special at home and a babysitter.
Noddy24 wrote:
As we were leaving I stopped at the table and announced in a loud, clear voice how much I admired their courage and patience in seeing that their retarded daughter was given mainstream experiences.
The child's behavior improved immediately.
Oh my God
You are FABULOUS!
You are now officially my HERO!
What do you mean freeduck? When you are like me and have never display inappropriate behaviors then you don't have to recognize it.
It must be a difficult situation for a restaurant manager to handle. I mean a good restaurant manager will realize that the customer is always right, but in this situation it involves customers on both sides. How does a manager handle it so as not to loose either customer? I wouldn't want to be in his shoes. What would he do if it were a table of adults being particularly loud?
That is hilarious, Noddy. That reminds me of the time when my neice was screaming in her stroller (she was 3 or 4) as we walked to the zoo. She screamed "I wanna go to the zooooooo" over and over and over again. We kept telling her "we ARE going to the zoo, right now, we'rea walking there" but she wouldn't stop. Finally, my other sister said to her mom, "Jane, I think she's just stupid." And she shut up immediately and behaved like an angel the rest of the time.
One of the things that works well with kids of most ages is this sort of talking about them without talking to them. It's as if what you say to other adults is more credible than what you say to them. Indirect positive reinforcement ("they're really using their restaurant manners, I'm so proud of them") works so well. When I'm being a good parent, I remember this.
Chai Tea wrote:Noddy24 wrote:
As we were leaving I stopped at the table and announced in a loud, clear voice how much I admired their courage and patience in seeing that their retarded daughter was given mainstream experiences.
The child's behavior improved immediately.
Oh my God
You are FABULOUS!
You are now officially my HERO!
Noddy, what I want to know is.....did you say this before, or after batting her with a baguette?
Lord E--
My hand/eye coordination is very poor and Mr. Noddy was not enjoying my speech as much as I was.
Furthermore, the Ghost of My Mother would have churned out of her urn and materialized in high dungeon to admonish me for wasting food.
Noddy24 wrote:
As we were leaving I stopped at the table and announced in a loud, clear voice how much I admired their courage and patience in seeing that their retarded daughter was given mainstream experiences.
The child's behavior improved immediately.
I love that, Noddy!
Next time (god forbid!) I'm in a similar situation I'm going to follow your example.
Kind of an interesting twist:
Sozlet and I went out to eat at a pretty nice restaurant tonight, and she was being a psycho. Eating too fast, not able to carry on a conversation, super distracted. I kept trying to figure out what was wrong -- did she need to go to the bathroom, was something wrong with the food, what?? She brushed me off and then finally, through gritted teeth, said, "There's a baby crying." I said "Ah..." and she added, "and crying and crying and crying and CRYING!" She was a bit crazed by this point.
I craned my neck around and saw the culprit behind me.
Then I asked brightly, "So, wouldn't you like to have a little tiny baby brother or sister?"
Her "NO" was not amused.
(She likes babies a lot... when they're not crying.)
She seems to feel that unhappy babies should be comforted. The adult indifference probably upset her more than the bawling.
Yes, you're probably right there, Noddy.
I'd asked her that actually, she said it was both -- the pure noise was terribly distracting/ annoying, plus she wanted the baby to feel better and thought the parents weren't doing enough to help.
Intelligent, thoughtful child, that sozlet! She covered the whole territory!
Quote:Intelligent, thoughtful child, that sozlet! She covered the whole territory!
Including emotional self-analysis.
