Vasectomy?

Forums: Relationships
Email this Topic • Print this Page

Hey all,

I had a question about men and vasectomy's. My husband and I do not have children yet nor will we for a while and it would be years and years from now before we even think about when we don't want kids anymore, nor want to deal with accidentally getting pregnant.

My sister in law just had her third baby with her husband. This baby was the hardest on her and she told me that after it would be born she would be getting her "tubes tied." When I asked her why she was the one getting the surgery and not him, she told me that he absolutely would not have the surgery done to him. Well it made me think a lot about what it would be like with my husband and I.

I have flat out said to him that I would not be having the surgery done because it is a lot more difficult and more time consuming that having him do it, I don't want some gross scar where the surgery was performed and you wouldn't be able to see a scar on him, plus its like a two second thing for him and I have to be "put down." I said that after our last child, I would be done with birth control and condoms and I think that being on BC for 30 years would be just cause for him to give something back to me. I told my sister in law that if it were me and my husband said he wouldn't be getting it done then I would tell him that I would be getting off the pill no matter what and will not be having unprotected sex, so if he wanted to have sex again he better re-think the situation.

The reason why I am saying this now is because every time I have that talk with him, he usually doesn't say anything, but just the other day I said it again and he said "I will NOT be getting a vasectomy." I am not sure if he was just saying it to get me going or if this will turn out to be a serious problem later on.

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 3,102 • Replies: 42

No top replies

I'm not sure of the question, but I'll start.

I rate either surgical option as superior to condoms, and the tubal ligatation is a much bigger deal than the vasectomy, so if those are the choices, the vasectomy has to be it. It is not quite as painless as advertised, except during the surgery itself, at which time all you feel is a distinct pulling sensation. To be honest, it feels like your eyeballs are being sucked into your head, and you spend several weeks being extremely cautious of young children and active dogs. After that, no problem, no condoms, and no worries about whether the ol' lady really remembered to do whatever it is they are supposed to be doing. Sex life improves, if memory serves.

Birthcontrol, with changing hormone levels, or whatever, I leave for the girls to discuss. I know my limits.

0 Replies

My husband had the vasectomy instead my me getting the tubal for a few reasons: 1. Like you said it is an "easier" operation compared to the tubal, and 2. He's not a big chicken like me about surgery. I've never had surgery before and he's had minor things done over the years; it really wasn't a big deal for him. It was day surgery, I think it took about 20 minutes. He spent the next 2 or 3 days with a bag of frozen peas for the soreness, and alot of pampering from me.
It sounds like you've got a lot of time before you need to seriously discuss this, so I wouldn't worry about it too much til then. I understand your concern, but alot of men have worries about a Dr. messing around with that area. Maybe he's a big chicken like me (lol).
When the time comes that you have to decide which route to take I'm sure your doctor will answer any questions he may have and put some fears to rest, and you two can decide from there.
I know alot of mom's who have had c-sections, have a tubal done after they've had their last child, as they are already opened up.

Good luck

0 Replies

I am currently in my seventh pregnancy; I made an appointment in early February with my OB/GYN for sterilization, but by the time the appointment rolled around I was very unexpectedly expecting. Again.

So my husband and I have both given much thought to sterilization in the past several months. We have been married thirteen years, are very committed to one another, love one another, and are both willing to work with all we have to keep this marriage together for the rest of our lives. I see us together always.

Yet despite that, despite the fact that a vasectomy is a more minor procedure than a tubal ligation, despite the fact that we both agree we're done having children, I am the one that is going to have the procedure.

Why?

Because I have come to the irrefutable conclusion that I am the one who is done having children.

Who knows what may come in the future? Who knows if there may be a death, a remarriage? There are no guarantees. But I know that whatever may be ahead, I don't want to carry or birth any more children. So I am having a tubal.

My 2¢ is that the person who is most passionate, most certain about not wanting more children should be the one to have the procedure. The one who can say without flinching, "No matter what may come no matter what life throws at me this is my last child" should be the one to be sterilized. And as long as you remain married you both benefit.

And that bit of "wisdom", the result of years of pondering, is worth exactly as much as you paid for it.

0 Replies

7XMom--

Welcome to A2K. Semi-adult conversation available at most hours of the day and night.

0 Replies

Good deal. We've lots of semi-adults.

0 Replies

Another 2 pennies...
First about the surgical procedure: a vasectomy is certainly a far less complicated and less involved procedure than tubal ligation (with fewer complications, most importantly).

My husband and I divorced almost 2 years ago and only 8 months after he had a vasectomy. Both of us were certain that we did not want any more children and we agreed that fairness and equity dictated that he should have the procedure. I had been the one who had always worried about birth control, I had been through pregnancies, I had given birth (to two very big babies Smile

), so it was only fair that he had the procedure.

We are still very amicable and are good partners in parenting, so we talk occasionally and I have asked him how he feels about the vasectomy in light of our divorce. He has no regrets - he knew these were the two children he wanted to father, he has reached a point in his life where he does not want to worry about getting anybody pregnant. However, I don't think he could have known this 10 or 15 years ago, so I think it may be a little early for your husband to be able to make a commitment one way or another.

0 Replies

I only had one child and my husband didn't want any more children. He refused to get a vasectomy even though it made more sense for him to do so. So, I had my "tubes tied." That was twenty-one years ago.

It wasn't fair, but that's life.

I was in and out of the hospital in one day. The scar (if you can even call it a scar) was situated in the lower part of my belly button and was only one-fifth of an inch long (if even that long). It was not even noticeable after the operation unless you looked for it with a magnifying glass in my belly button (and how many people examine your belly button with a magnifying glass anyway) . . . and it pretty much disappeared completely as time passed.

My family health insurance paid for the operation--happily. After all, paying to have one's tubes tied is far cheaper than paying for multiple pregnancies and the health care of a large family.

Don't spend time and emotional energy worrying about something that may or may not happen in the future. Don't buy trouble where it doesn't exist. Take care and BE HAPPY!

0 Replies

I would never let my Husband to get vasectomy. Why? Because he is the man, and hell knows what can happen in the future. What If something will go wrong, If I get sick Or Will Die. He does not woth that Fate., I love him too much for putting him into this.

0 Replies

NoNe wrote:

I would never let my Husband to get vasectomy. Why? Because he is the man, and hell knows what can happen in the future. What If something will go wrong, If I get sick Or Will Die. He does not woth that Fate., I love him too much for putting him into this.

I don't really understand what you are trying to say...but what I can say is that there is such a thing as a reverse vasectomy in case something does go wrong.