Are teenage love affairs just as brittle as glass?

Not necessarily.

I do however notice a trend among my peers of irresponsibility towards and disinterest in long-term commitment. But now days, that's everyone really.

We're talking teenage love affairs -- why would they be interested in long-term commitment? I don't see that as a pejorative.

I think they're like anything else that people start out at, that people are learning about. Sometimes a person is a natural and figures out the important parts right off, sometimes people need a lot of practice... I think teenage relationships are valuable both for what they are and for what they teach. They're kind of in their own category, though -- a "successful" teenage romance might be very different from a "successful" adult romance.

don't u feel that affairs in teenage can distract u from your studies.

Are teenage love affairs just as brittle as glass?


OK, sure, why not?

As a teenager, a person has raging hormones, coupled with little life experience. I would suggest, that unless a particular person is extremely mature for his age, a love affair at that time of life, is by its very nature, brittle.

Teenage love affairs are also productive, and, IMO, necessary, to enable the young person to test out their coping skills, and to practice social and negotiation skills with another person, on an intimate basis. This practice will allow the young person to eventually be equipped to make an appropriate choice as to his life's partner.

Yeah, and young love hurts like hell!

ok i do agree with the last paragraph but don't you think its a waste of time one could better utilize that time in setting their goals and improving their personalities

Of course I do. But the fact of the matter is that many young people do become romantically involved. In the best of all possible worlds, teenagers WOULD spend their lives setting goals, and preparing for their careers. But that is not reality, for many young people.

do you think getting such experience is really necessary?

Why not?

You'll be in a romantic relationship at some point, and there are a lot of relationship skills learnable only through experience, IMO. (Not all, but a lot.) A 16-year-old will expect awkwardness and may even be comforted by it since she's awkward, too -- a 26-year-old is much more likely to expect that you already know this stuff and be turned off.

is it really good and ethical to change lovers in order to" get experience"

I think it's arguably much less ethical to expect to stick with your very first crush forever and ever. It happens, occasionally, but that's different from expecting it as a universal.

People grow and change, and pretty much never as much as when they're teenagers.

its this attitude of "changing lovers' and "getting experience" that is paving the way for the west's cultural collapse. they continue to do the same thing even in their adult hood - they marry and divorce, remarry and redivorce and the cycle goes on- experience!!!!!!!!1

The west's cultural collapse . . . god that cracks me up . . . the worst Puritans are the young ones . . .

Heh!

Prince El, what do you think of these two scenarios:

Abby and Ben meet as sophomores in high school. They are each others' first love. They choose the same college to go to (ignoring some scholarships elsewhere, more important to be together). They get married as soon as they graduate. Abby has a few kids, plunges right into stay-at-home-momhood. After say 10 years, after her third baby, she realizes that she has no idea who she is or what she wants. She realizes she's desperately unhappy. She a) decides she has to stand on her own feet, or b) falls in love with another man, and leaves Ben. (All of this is based on actual stories we've seen here over and over again, told from the perspective of both the wife and the jilted husband, with not a few from the perspective of the jilted wife in the same situation with genders reversed.)

Second scenario:

Callie's first boyfriend is in her sophomore year of high school. She discovers that while he's hot, he's also egotistical and insensitive, and they part ways. She then has a few non-serious boyfriends before meeting a guy in college who becomes her first serious boyfriend. They move in together. They both learn a ton about how to make long-term relationships work -- sometimes by negative example. They part ways. She has a few more serious relationships. By the time she's 21, she has met a man who she wants to spend the rest of her life with -- and, as of 13 years later, she has. (Yep, that one's me.)

Both my husband and I had significant relationships BEFORE we met, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Summary -- this question is about TEENAGE relationships. I think (not just based on those two scenarios, more general observation and reading of pertinent sources) that dating a fair amount (nothing excessive) as a teenager and college-age young adult makes it more likely that there will be a lasting marriage.

that analogy was good sozobe, but do you agree that when this is carried beyong a line it causes cultural collapse.

Hmmm... I guess, but not sure what line.

I don't see anything wrong with teenagers dating a lot -- which was the original issue on this thread.

Oh...El.

As someone who's been in a relationship for the last year and a half, while unfortunately being under the age of 18, I will gladly argue that there's an impossibility for teenagers to love fully and for a worthwhile time.

However, I do agree with Soz that many people my age need to run around a bit before being ready to be settled in for a while. I see the benefit of experience, however for me personally, I prefer stability. For many that I know though, it's the complete opposite - thus making Soz's point that it's nice for teenagers to be able to get it out of their systems.

i am only 18, sanctuary. the very reason i started this thread was i wanted to clear things out in my mind.
soz, yet i would say that if teenagers spend time developing their own inner self they wouldn't commit mistakes in choosing their partners- i mean they would have so much wisdom, no.
well, i wanted to elaborate this.....running out of time . but please keep coming here.

ok great thanks a lot you have me scared out of my wits!! im am under the age of 18 and have been in a relationship for 11 months as some may know. I don't believe however that any of you know this is my first relationship. I think i Love this person, we are vary serious. even talked about marriage. NO not at this age of course we have decided that we would wait till after collage if we decide to take this road. i don't know if this has worked because i am mature for my age or if im just lucky. Am i in a good position or not ?? opinion please.