LITTLE JOHNNY

Closest to God

The teacher gave the class an assignment. Everyone must think of which part of their body is closest to God. They are to go home and think about it and come in the next day with their thoughts.

The next day the teacher asked the class what they thought - Little Johnny is jumping out of his chair Oooo! Oooo! Oooo! - I know!!! I know!!!

The teacher wanted to hear from someone else so little Sally raised her hand and said:

S - your head
T - Why is that Sally?
S - Because it is the highest part of your body
T - Good answer Sally - anyone else???

Little Johnny - I know I know !!!!!!

Not yet Johnny give someone else a try!

Little Becky replied:

B - your heart
T - Why Becky
B - Because you love with your heart and we love God.
T - Good answer Becky

Little Johnny is still jumping from his chair raising his hand!!!

Ok Johnny what part of the body do you think is closer to God??

J - your feet
T - Why your feet?
J - because last night my mom had her feet in the air and she was yelling "Oh God - Oh God I'm coming!!"

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Beautiful

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!"

Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, ******* beautiful!'"

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Little Johnny

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."