I keep failing my boyfriend

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I keep messing up unintentionally with my partner. He is a sensitive and kind person who understandably gets overwhelmed when I complain too much about something. We recently got into a big fight when I again, complained way too much about something that he found to be so minor.
I got upset too, although I did apologize. I ended up crying and in the midst of his frustration he laughed while saying something to me. I got even more upset and demanded an apology. He refused to say sorry, believing that since I started the whole issue he didn't see why he needed to apologize.
Feeling gas lit, I kept pushing for him to apologize until I lost my temper and cussed at him in a way I had never done so before. It was low and disgusting on my part and now he is distant from me.
He told me he had doubts about us and rightfully so as this is not the first time we have argued about my constant complaining.
I never intend to dump my complaints on him, they just turn out that way since I talk so much to him.
But I am aware that I have to take responsibility. And I did. I apologized profusely and agreed that I had gone too far.
I know I was in the wrong and I'm being held accountable for it.
I'm so afraid to lose him though.
How do I go about this? How do I fix things with him?

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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 1,472 • Replies: 8

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@graciee88,

Perhaps you need some counseling. If you're a constant complainer that means the negativity has taken presence over everything else and you might be attracted to the drama that comes with it.

The more you complain the more negativity you harbor and it becomes a vicious cycle - not only for you, but for your partner as well. Before he's had
enough and ends the relationship, I encourage you to seek help from a professional!

Good luck!

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@graciee88,

Graciee88, you misused 'gas lit', it doesn't mean you get to rant at someone who refuses to apologize to you for YOUR bad behavior. The post you drafted makes you sound oversensitive and demanding, my unvarnished advice would be for you to get a hold of yourself. Not everything that pops out of our mouths is a groundbreaking truth. I don't like 'down-filled' pillows but it's not a major life incident when I meet somebody who loves them. Learn to relax a little.

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@graciee88,

Why are you complaining about everything? Knock it off. Try to find the good in whatever situation or just keep it to yourself.

You would irritate the shite out of me if you did that constantly in my presence.

Grow up, graciee88. Complainers are not good company.

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He's passive aggressive and you are overly sensitive. You two will never sail smooth seas.

Is this a relationship or an endurance test?

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It is not worth being with such a person. Do it for yourself and leave him.

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@graciee88,

It's very hard to get the full picture of what is going on.

It could be as you have described it, that you do constantly complain over petty things and are difficult to live with.

It could be that your behaviour is normal, and that a hypercritical and controlling partner has caused you to doubt yourself, and see yourself as he wants you to.

In either case you need to get some counselling, and possibly some distance from your partner.

I keep failing my boyfriend

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