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My boyfriend prefers to distance himself than talk things out

 
 
Chile
 
Sun 22 Oct, 2023 10:09 am
My boyfriend started acting weird for some days and i didn't ask because i felt he'll approach me first and he's having exams so i thought it was just that...after four days i reached out and he said he doesn't know what's wrong but he's been upset and he just doesn't know and he said i should've asked him what was wrong. Naturally i feel bad that he didn't tell me anything but i argued that he should've said something because he wasn't communicating and it wasn't fair to me, could've said he's going through something and he can't be available now. When i wanted to talk it out and fix it he distanced himself again and I'm doing the same because i think he should know how to communicate with someone he claims to love. If i approach him first he'll do it again. He knows we're supposed to communicate. Please am i doing the wrong thing by distancing myself too??
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jespah
 
  2  
Sun 22 Oct, 2023 11:34 am
@Chile,
You're fine and he's' playing games.

His game is called, Guess Why I'm Pissed Off and I'll Give You No Hints.

This is a bit of manipulative behavior and you're right; it's unfair to you. Him distancing himself during exams is 100% logical behavior so you were right to believe that was the cause, and to give him a chance to study and take his tests.

Because I can bet you dollars to doughnuts that, if you had contacted him and asked him what was wrong, he would have bitched that you were bugging him during exams.

This is a no-win situation for you, and it's compounded by him distancing himself even more right now.

You may want to seriously consider if this is the sort of behavior you're willing to put up with, as it's not likely to get any better.
Chile
 
  1  
Sun 22 Oct, 2023 11:40 am
@jespah,
I totally agree because if he can't make the effort to fix things then when Thankyouuu for your reply.
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