Just how many different accounts do you have to make to hear the same thing?
The guy is controlling. It's not likely that he's going to change, no matter what he says. He wants to live with you so he has a roof over his head and a nurse as he ages. He can tart that up with words of love all he wants to, but that's the bottom line, from everything you have ever written about him.
You've also said your grown children don't like him. They have your own best interests at heart. Maybe you should start listening to them.
Stay. Go. Whatever.
But if you want to give this a chance, put a hard, concrete deadline on things—but keep it to yourself. He's got (let's say), 6 months to change, or to stay changed. If he isn't, then he's out on his ear and with no regrets or second guessing by you.