100 Things I will do if I become an Evil Overlord

Oops. Caps Lock.

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jespah wrote:

Would you sleep on evil sheets? With matching evil pillow cases? I mean, I'm doing holiday shopping, I gotta know these things.

Yes, they have them at Bed Bath & Beyond.

Make sure you use your 20% off coupon.

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Quote:

I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

This one, however, is obviously in blatant contradiction to this one:

Quote:

I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

(nimh - taking procrastination to new heights...)

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Re: 100 Things I will do if I become an Evil Overlord

Quote:

My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

Course, they could always cut your finger off and where would that leave you?

Did anyone else yet mention that this list is just about everywhere on the net?

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Chai Tea wrote:

I'm seeing comfy loose caftan pants (not too long to trip over), and pullover with a small inconspicuous emblem of authority placed high on the right shoulder, nothing garish of course.

Some mid priced loafers or boots, Franco Sarto is nice.

Jewelry should be kept to a minium, a timepiece and simple gold chain should be sufficient.

Various pockets and pouches of course, that should go without saying.

There would need to be 4 color choices available, depending on wheather you are a Spring, Summer, Winter or Fall.

Do not underestimate the power of color in dressing your legions. What makes one warrior project power and authority, will cause another to appear a pastey skinned weasel.

Quite right.

Also, the pocket, pouch or place where you, as Evil Overlord, stick your lethal weapon in, should be easily accessible to you; not to others; and somewhere that would make you feel and see it immediately if someone tries to grab it. Ie, not in a zipped pocket on your back or in a secret pocket at the bottom of your pants. If tucking it in one's trousers under one's belt was good enough for the cowboys, its good enough for the Evil Overlord.

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I always wanted those firing boobs, like the gals in Austin Powers. Will there be a squadron of those that I can join?

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Depends. Can you point your tits?

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I'm willing to learn!

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You need some hands-on assistance with that at first...

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Chai Tea wrote:

jespah wrote:
Would you sleep on evil sheets? With matching evil pillow cases? I mean, I'm doing holiday shopping, I gotta know these things.

Yes, they have them at Bed Bath & Beyond.

Make sure you use your 20% off coupon.

Nearly spat out the coffee on that one.

PS They've gotta be percale. And easy care. No sense in having the minions busying themselves with ironing, when they could be doing something more useful.

PPS Interesting re the firing breasticles. Will there be, er, aiming assistance for any middle-aged female warriors. Wouldn't want anyone accidentally shooting themselves in the foot, yanno.

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Absolutely, Jespah. Aiming assistance is given without discrimination by the Aiming Assistance Head Helmsman (Aahh)

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It's good to be the evil overlord.

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jespah wrote:

Would you sleep on evil sheets? With matching evil pillow cases? I mean, I'm doing holiday shopping, I gotta know these things.

I sleep on 1000-thread-count sheets printed with Zorg who is my real father...

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Have you seen the new sheets with absolutely no-mess honey and whipped cream stamped on?

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sephiroth_nz23 wrote:

jespah wrote:
Would you sleep on evil sheets? With matching evil pillow cases? I mean, I'm doing holiday shopping, I gotta know these things.

I sleep on 1000-thread-count sheets printed with Zorg who is my real father...

What size evil bed? Y'see, I drew your name for Secret Satan this year.

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jespah wrote:

sephiroth_nz23 wrote:
jespah wrote:
Would you sleep on evil sheets? With matching evil pillow cases? I mean, I'm doing holiday shopping, I gotta know these things.

I sleep on 1000-thread-count sheets printed with Zorg who is my real father...

What size evil bed? Y'see, I drew your name for Secret Satan this year.

I think the idea about Secret Satan is that it is meant to be "secret"

But I sleep on a triple Kingsize, otherwise classified as Overlordsize

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jespah wrote:

Nearly spat out the coffee on that one.

I seem to make a lot of people spew around here.

The other day I ruined Bellas keyboard by her strafing it with mineral water.

Before that, shewolf did something while reading my post that made bean cry.

Making babies cry, is that anywhere in the EO list of qualifications?

Secret Satan? Crap I forgot all about that!

So, uh, nimh.....do you like socks?

BTW - Welcome Seph!

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[quote="sephiroth_nz23] ....
I think the idea about Secret Satan is that it is meant to be "secret" ...[/quote]

D'oh!

Welcome, seph. Care for an evil cookie? They're baked with extra evilness.

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my mom used to make cookies with extra evilness baked in.

they were so evil, sometimes they would burn holes in your tongue.

oh wait, that was just when you ate them right out of the oven.

but they were really good and evil though.

wow, no one could bake evil cookies like my mom.

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I strive to emulate your mother's evil baking techniques. I have an evil silpat from Crate & Barrel.

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100 Things I will do if I become an Evil Overlord

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