Stressful and toxic life advice please

First I can't think too much while typing that's why I cant tell properly but I hope u still understand and thanks. I badly need some advice. What should I do? my mother has this gambling habits and drug abuse ever since I was a kid. She will stole some money to my father and other people and she will not go home and start to hide for over a month or sometimes 6months she keeps doing this all till now for over 15years she still doing this and I already have now 3 little brother and sisters. Today my mother gone again and I'm the one who always left here at home caring my little siblings doing house chores like I'm standing to be their mother. I want to leave them but also I can't my father has a anxiety attack and a depression because of what my mother did I also I can't leave my siblings because no one will take care of them everytime I see my brothers and sisters I feel sad because at a very young age they already feeling this kind of problem I'm almost going to cry everytime my mother going home and seeing my siblings running towards her and seeing smile to their face but they don't know that maybe tomorrow our mother will go again. I'm a guy and I can't do what I want to do like I'm stuck on this maze I can't escape I want to live my life to the fullest I want to live my life the way I want I also have a dream to pursue but I can't Im stuck of this life no progress I'm too sick living this life I can't say this to my father because I know we're just going to fight I know he is just going to say that were just having the same problem I feel no one will listen to me I don't go out I don't have friends now I'm just home. I don't know what to do. What should I do? I badly need some advice. I need help