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One minute he's into me, next minute he's not

 
 
Vbc829
 
Tue 13 Dec, 2022 07:40 am
Why would a guy act so hot&cold and change his attitude within minutes (literally)? My guy friend who's my crush started flirting with me a long time ago, he was quite touchy-feely, made me laugh a lot, he suggested to hang out but we never did. I've been shy but I flirted back. Then I pulled away completely because I thought he was a player and he came back trying to get my attention, like walking in front of me or standing near me and staring but not saying anything. Before he used to text me quite regularly until I got mad and ignored his text once, then I was a bit dismissive. He started avoiding me & after all I decided to just ask him out. He kind of said yes and when I asked about details he didn't reply. I thought maybe he's shy and decided to start saying hi to him more and try to talk more to make him comfortable. When I do that he is responsive and gets closer but he looks like he could care less - not looking at me, being so preoccupied with his phone, being the first to end conversation via text or running off just when we have an opportunity to talk more. He just gets up and leaves. He turns his back at me or says bye while avoiding looking at me when I thought that maybe we could go back together. Next time he says hi again and sits close, laughs, I don't know what's going on with him. I noticed he stopped coming where I am to maybe get the opportunity to talk to me. Even though I texted him first two times recently, he doesn't text first at all anymore. In our texts he reacted to my messages with hearts but what does it change.. Now we just see each other once a week in class and that's it. I wanna take it to the next level but I feel that if I ask him out again it'll just be derogatory for myself as he's acting so distracted.. In my view if I'm the one to plan it all then that shows a lack of interest on his part. I think he may be nervous but even if he is, a shy man would probably still do something like send just one text sometimes and he's doing almost nothing. He doesn't try to start a normal conversation, he will just sit next to me and not say much and if we talk a bit he will probably leave soon anyway as if he wants to cut that time short. He's certainly very immature but I still like him. Did he lose interest? I feel at this pace it will never go anywhere.
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Mame
 
  1  
Tue 13 Dec, 2022 07:45 am
Drop all the games and try to find someone who doesn't do this. This is extremely immature behaviour. Is this what you want?
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  2  
Tue 13 Dec, 2022 07:50 am
@Vbc829,
What Mame says, and please use paragraphs. I can't begin to attack that solid block; it's just asking too much.
Mame
 
  1  
Tue 13 Dec, 2022 08:18 am
@coluber2001,
You can usually tell how old someone is by their writing, can't you? No punctuation, no capital letters, bad grammar and spelling, no paragraph returns - all signs of an uneducated youth.
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Tue 13 Dec, 2022 09:34 pm
@Mame,
Or someone thumbing text onto a smart phone.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Tue 13 Dec, 2022 09:44 pm
@Vbc829,
Vbc829 wrote:

Why would a guy act so hot&cold and change his attitude within minutes (literally)?

My guy friend who's my crush started flirting with me a long time ago, he was quite touchy-feely, made me laugh a lot, he suggested to hang out but we never did. I've been shy but I flirted back. Then I pulled away completely because I thought he was a player and he came back trying to get my attention, like walking in front of me or standing near me and staring but not saying anything.

Before he used to text me quite regularly until I got mad and ignored his text once, then I was a bit dismissive. He started avoiding me & after all I decided to just ask him out. He kind of said yes and when I asked about details he didn't reply. I thought maybe he's shy and decided to start saying hi to him more and try to talk more to make him comfortable.

When I do that he is responsive and gets closer but he looks like he could care less - not looking at me, being so preoccupied with his phone, being the first to end conversation via text or running off just when we have an opportunity to talk more. He just gets up and leaves. He turns his back at me or says bye while avoiding looking at me when I thought that maybe we could go back together. Next time he says hi again and sits close, laughs, I don't know what's going on with him.

I noticed he stopped coming where I am to maybe get the opportunity to talk to me. Even though I texted him first two times recently, he doesn't text first at all anymore. In our texts he reacted to my messages with hearts but what does it change.. Now we just see each other once a week in class and that's it. I wanna take it to the next level but I feel that if I ask him out again it'll just be derogatory for myself as he's acting so distracted..

In my view if I'm the one to plan it all then that shows a lack of interest on his part. I think he may be nervous but even if he is, a shy man would probably still do something like send just one text sometimes and he's doing almost nothing. He doesn't try to start a normal conversation, he will just sit next to me and not say much and if we talk a bit he will probably leave soon anyway as if he wants to cut that time short. He's certainly very immature but I still like him. Did he lose interest? I feel at this pace it will never go anywhere.


I'll block out paragraphs, but the rest is up you.

Oh, to be young and filled with hormones. But I understand, I was addicted to limerence when I was young. It made me a serial monogamist - so there's that.

Back off and give him a chance to chase you a bit. You're young and there are other fish in the pond.
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