0
   

Why won't he leave me alone?

 
 
Posh
 
Reply Sat 5 Nov, 2022 05:05 am
There was this guy I met when I just moved to a new city. I was stranded so I did not know my way around and I almost got lost. He approached me to give me a ride to wherever I intended to go. I was sceptical at first because we all know we should never enter a stranger's car but I had no option because I was stranded by the roadside. I voiced my concern and we had this back-and-forth of him trying to reassure me it was fine to hop in while I displayed reluctance. He got irritated from the look on his face and tried driving off at that point I figured it was better to let him take me home than be left alone at night in an unknown area, so I entered.

He told me he was harmless and he winded the car window down in case I wanted to shout for help if I got scared. He told me he stayed around and pointed to his mechanic shop he also greeted a few policemen who smiled at him on the way and called his name.
I knew my house but I did not know the route to get there since I was new to the area and the houses looked similar. He was patient and helped me ask for directions from passersby. We got lost a couple of times and with the help of people we got redirected and got on the right path. I was embarrassed because I was stressing him out yet he told me it was fine and kept on smiling at some point, He patted me on my thigh. I was startled so I jumped since I did not expect or see that coming I told him to keep his hands to himself. He apologised and from that moment he kept mute throughout the journey. I could sense he was upset so I told me he could drop me halfway home but he insisted so he dropped me off somewhere close to my house. He asked for my number and called me when he got home but I was already asleep and saw it the next morning so I sent him a thank you text later in the day. He replied with a "you are welcome sticker" and did not call me again.
We crossed paths three weeks later so he started calling and said whenever ladies are rendered assistance they automatically assume the man wants a relationship and that was why he did not call me after I gave him my number. He said he was trying to calm me down the other day and I flared up at him. I apologised and he apologised too for making me feel uncomfortable with that gesture.
We started communicating again though sparsely. Once a week he would text and we would talk. He called and told me when I come over to his place he would cook me dinner though he did not ask to see me or invite me over directly however when I call he doesn't fail to plead that we meet up yet he will not outrightly pick his phone to suggest it instead we just talk and ask how I am faring.
I finally agreed to see him and he suggested I come to his house. I got scared and told him I don't go to a man's house if I was just meeting him for the first time. He said he was no longer a stranger considering we have been talking for three months that he is harmless and won't hurt me but I still felt it was inappropriate having the first meeting in a man's house. He told me I went to another man's house( he found out when he called and I told him I was at my friend's house) but I do not want to visit him at his house to which I explained the situation. ( He was a friend of my brother's whom I knew before him and I recently discovered lives in the same city though I met him recently) even though he did not, believe me, I told him we could go out and later if I feel comfortable around him I would visit him in his home. He kept on trying to convince me to visit him at his house and I got upset. He said he would call the next day to fix a date to go out and that was the last time we spoke till two months later when he called me up. I did not call him during that period too

I felt he ghosted me so I responded nonchalantly and unfriendly
I later felt bad and called him to call me later when he has the time to talk because I wanted to talk to him. He said he would but he hasn't. But he has a habit of coming and going so I know he would still call me. Why doesn't he just leave me alone if he doesn't want to be friends with me?
 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Sat 5 Nov, 2022 06:37 am
@Posh,
Both of your faces should be under the dictionary definition of mixed signals.

What is it you want from him?

All the texting and chatty Cathy stuff is likely to be coming across as flirting/playing hard to get with him.

If you want a relationship, say so. If you just want to be pals, then say so -- and tone down the flirty behavior, big time.

Oh, and next time? Download a GPS app on your phone if you don't already have one and call a taxi or an Uber.

This guy could have done pretty much anything to you-- yes, even after chatting with the cops. He is intrusive enough in your life to know who you visit.

If that's not triggering your red flag detector, then you need to recalibrate it.
Mrknowspeople
 
  -4  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2022 09:12 pm
@Posh,
Sounds to me like you want him to keep calling you. Do you think he is a stalker?
Posh
 
  2  
Reply Tue 8 Nov, 2022 04:31 am
@jespah,
Thanks, I just want to be friends considering I am new to the city and do not know many people around.
I already told him I do not want to send the wrong signal when he kept insisting we see at some point and he said he had nothing in mind and was okay with being friends.

After that, he ignored me for three and later texted me which I ignored too. His street isn't far from mine so he sees me most times when I take a walk and he says hello by honking his car when I pass by.

After a while, he calls again and ask we meet. he suggested his house that he wants me to know his place but I insisted we meet in an open place so he did not call for two months and I did not either only for him to call me a few days back asking me how I am faring. He just confuses me that's all. I responded sarcastically because I thought the friendship was done.
Posh
 
  2  
Reply Tue 8 Nov, 2022 04:35 am
@Mrknowspeople,
No. I had stopped interacting with him for the past two months only for him to pop out a few days back buzzing my phone. I am just confused about what he wants from me that's all.
He is not a stalker. When he sees me he honks and goes about his business. He refuses to meet outside his home so I stopped communicating with him but he still calls me now and then.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Tue 8 Nov, 2022 05:12 am
@Posh,
You need to make other friends.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  4  
Reply Tue 8 Nov, 2022 10:02 am
@Posh,
Just block him, for Pete's sake.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Wed 9 Nov, 2022 04:15 pm
Barney Fife said it best ...




You both need separate domiciles.
0 Replies
 
Mrknowspeople
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 19 Nov, 2022 05:47 am
@Posh,
Yeah, should forget what you have already disregarded because I have seen the movies and you need to be a lottery winner who has mastery skills with poetry and access to the terminally ill. It is a lot...so forget all that.

Posh wrote:

There was this guy I met when I just moved to a new city. I was stranded so I did not know my way around and I almost got lost. He approached me to give me a ride to wherever I intended to go. I was sceptical at first because we all know we should never enter a stranger's car but I had no option because I was stranded by the roadside. I voiced my concern and we had this back-and-forth of him trying to reassure me it was fine to hop in while I displayed reluctance. He got irritated from the look on his face and tried driving off at that point I figured it was better to let him take me home than be left alone at night in an unknown area, so I entered.

He told me he was harmless and he winded the car window down in case I wanted to shout for help if I got scared. He told me he stayed around and pointed to his mechanic shop he also greeted a few policemen who smiled at him on the way and called his name.
I knew my house but I did not know the route to get there since I was new to the area and the houses looked similar. He was patient and helped me ask for directions from passersby. We got lost a couple of times and with the help of people we got redirected and got on the right path. I was embarrassed because I was stressing him out yet he told me it was fine and kept on smiling at some point, He patted me on my thigh. I was startled so I jumped since I did not expect or see that coming I told him to keep his hands to himself. He apologised and from that moment he kept mute throughout the journey. I could sense he was upset so I told me he could drop me halfway home but he insisted so he dropped me off somewhere close to my house. He asked for my number and called me when he got home but I was already asleep and saw it the next morning so I sent him a thank you text later in the day. He replied with a "you are welcome sticker" and did not call me again.
We crossed paths three weeks later so he started calling and said whenever ladies are rendered assistance they automatically assume the man wants a relationship and that was why he did not call me after I gave him my number. He said he was trying to calm me down the other day and I flared up at him. I apologised and he apologised too for making me feel uncomfortable with that gesture.
We started communicating again though sparsely. Once a week he would text and we would talk. He called and told me when I come over to his place he would cook me dinner though he did not ask to see me or invite me over directly however when I call he doesn't fail to plead that we meet up yet he will not outrightly pick his phone to suggest it instead we just talk and ask how I am faring.
I finally agreed to see him and he suggested I come to his house. I got scared and told him I don't go to a man's house if I was just meeting him for the first time. He said he was no longer a stranger considering we have been talking for three months that he is harmless and won't hurt me but I still felt it was inappropriate having the first meeting in a man's house. He told me I went to another man's house( he found out when he called and I told him I was at my friend's house) but I do not want to visit him at his house to which I explained the situation. ( He was a friend of my brother's whom I knew before him and I recently discovered lives in the same city though I met him recently) even though he did not, believe me, I told him we could go out and later if I feel comfortable around him I would visit him in his home. He kept on trying to convince me to visit him at his house and I got upset. He said he would call the next day to fix a date to go out and that was the last time we spoke till two months later when he called me up. I did not call him during that period too

I felt he ghosted me so I responded nonchalantly and unfriendly
I later felt bad and called him to call me later when he has the time to talk because I wanted to talk to him. He said he would but he hasn't. But he has a habit of coming and going so I know he would still call me. Why doesn't he just leave me alone if he doesn't want to be friends with me?
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