8
   

Ex wants to split stuff up equally during break up. I don’t.

 
 
neptuneblue
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Aug, 2022 01:40 pm
@mcgree,
Because not doing so is aggressively mean spirited. At the time she gave away her furniture, it was to build a life with you. To now lord that over her head is just mean. And wrong. It's like you are deliberately trying to hurt her in the most torturous way possible.

It's bad decorum and looks very poorly upon you.
mcgree
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Aug, 2022 02:04 pm
@neptuneblue,
Maybe I’m just being dense, but that still sounds like it would be the best just for her, not the best for both of us.

I’m not trying to hurt I just want to keep my stuff.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Aug, 2022 02:09 pm
@mcgree,
If you can live with your selfish self after treating her that way. What would it hurt to share the furniture with her? Or give her some money to buy her own? What do you think your mother's, grandmothers, and future girlfriend's response to your attitude and behaviour be? Would they be proud of you?

It's just stuff and money. You'll make and get more.
engineer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Aug, 2022 02:44 pm
@jespah,
I don't think that's a fair description. The OP is talking to his ex about this, not "sneaking out like a thief". I can see wanting to keep the furniture you have owned for years. I think most people would want to take out what they brought into the relationship and honestly, I can see wanting to discuss the stuff you bought jointly but I don't see her wanting your furniture. If a guy was trying to lay claim to his ex-girlfriend's furniture because they had lived together for three years, I think we would all tell him to pack sand. That said, giving her some money towards buying new stuff might be a compromise position if you are looking to walk away from this with no regrets. Giving her some of the big items that you have no attachment to might make more sense than trying to move it across country. I suppose it depends on your financial position.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 22 Aug, 2022 02:50 pm
@engineer,
I have zero problem with him keeping his stuff. It's his.

But just bailing like this? It's blindsiding.

The gal will go off to work assuming everything is fine, and come home to an apartment with no bed.
0 Replies
 
mcgree
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Aug, 2022 03:06 pm
@Mame,
I guess I am just very attached to some of my things. It doesn't feel like just money and stuff. Like the tv is just a thing. It cost a lot more money than my other stuff, but I don't really care about it like the furniture.

I don't have the money right now to replace them or give to her because I have to pay for a down payment and first/ last months rent for my new place as well as rent for her apartment for three months.

I can say I definitely don't give a **** what my family would think. They're drunk assholes that kicked me out of the house when I was 16.

RPhalange
 
  2  
Reply Mon 22 Aug, 2022 03:18 pm
@engineer,
He said this "She’s at work all day and I’m thinking of just packing up and moving everything and leaving tomorrow while she’s gone."

So yeah one could interpret it to be "sneaking out like a thief." He might have talked to her about it, however, he is thinking of just leaving without discussing it any more.

But like jespah, he can do whatever he wants. Just his comments do sound a bit like a jerk and he did ask for an unbiased opinion. So my opinion is to work it out as amicable as you can rather than sneak out.

I also agree with you in, I cannot imagine wanting my ex's furniture even if it was nice. It's your ex, why would you want anything of his?

And I can understand if there is some underlining reason why you love your furniture; some sort of sentimental reason behind that why you would want to keep it.

There to me, seem to be something that you could both discuss and compromise on. Does she have the means to buy new things for herself? It is tough right now with all the lack of inventory, everything is more expensive and harder to get.
0 Replies
 
Elexor
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Aug, 2022 03:49 pm
@mcgree,
Out of curiosity how old are both of you?
mcgree
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Aug, 2022 04:30 pm
@Elexor,
I'm 23. My ex is 28.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Aug, 2022 05:52 pm
@mcgree,
Well, let us know what you did and how it went.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Aug, 2022 08:21 pm
@mcgree,
mcgree wrote:


I don't have the money right now to replace them or give to her because I have to pay for a down payment and first/ last months rent for my new place as well as rent for her apartment for three months.


He's paying her rent for 3 months, that's enough in my book. He asked her to move with him and she declined - that ended the relationship. He owes her nothing and paying rent for 3 months is plenty.

People split on a lot less and I don't see him as "dick" - he's 23 years old and
moving on with his live - she's 5 years older and obviously wants to do the same, otherwise she had made a different decision.
0 Replies
 
PoliteMight
 
  -3  
Reply Tue 23 Aug, 2022 07:05 am
His property. Get out ASAP, leave her a note "Thanks for the sex, you want more you could reach me at this number" Leave a rebate for "Beds Baths and Beyond" or "Ikea" sales with a twenty in a deep narrow obtuse narrow jar.

0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

 
Copyright © 2022 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 09/27/2022 at 02:53:32