Wordplay.

1. A bicycle can't stand-alone because it is two-tyred.
2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in linoleum blown apart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine either.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
27. A backward poet writes inverse.
28.. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
29.. Dijon vu, the same mustard as before.
30. Practice safe eating: always use safe condiments.
31.. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
32. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
33.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
34. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really just a form of floor play.
35. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
36. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
37.Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
38. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
39. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
40. She was engaged to a man with a wooden leg but broke it off.
41. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
42.If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
43. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
44.When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
45..The man who fell into an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
46. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
47. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
48. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
49. Every calendar's days are numbered.
50..A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
51. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
52.He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
53.A plateau is a high form of flattery.
54. Those who get to big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
55. Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
56. Bakers trade bread recipes on a kneed to know basis.
57. Santa' helpers are subordinate clauses.
58. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
59. A midget fortune teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.