We only invited one of my kid’s siblings to Disneyland. Ex wants us to invite both

"This whole situation is your fault. You should have, at the beginning, contacted your x, let her know about the trip and who was invited. Instead, you've allowed a seven yr old to take charge and now you're stuck. This is what happens when you don't communicate with your x."

I think this is a bit extreme. The parents made a mistake; they did not foresee that the daughter would invite her half brother when told to invite a friend. Reading through this and after his response to my post, it does sound as if the poster would have reached out to his x, prior to inviting the boy. The poster did not allow the seven year old to take charge, but gave instructions to invite any friend. It seems the seven year old took this as a friend to include her brother, which the poster did not look at this as being a friend. You are making some very negative assumptions which is only hurtful and helpful.

It does appear as if this poster and his wife are trying to do the best for their family. No family is perfect and no parent is perfect (including yourself); I would suggest you all come clean with your children. Tell them you are sorry that you were not clear about inviting friends. And then you can go into how with your extended family how excluding one brother is hurtful to him. Telling your child you made a mistake is ok. It actually humanizes you and you being able to own up to it shows your children how to handle a mistake rather than walk away from it.

Whether you are in a position to take all children or not is not really the issue. Sucking up and bringing all may not be possible. It is nice if you are able to, but as you, neptune state, life is not fair and we are imperfect. It is better to show you made a mistake and discuss it as a family than to spend and do more than it is logical.

That's a good idea, thanks.

I am not in such a privileged situation to be able to afford to take all five.

Will do.

You fund the kid you go without food, electricity, gas, heat, for a while. What is wrong with that notion? Your having kids with more then one people, is your own fault, now you have this relationship between kids with different parents happening. You fund this kid this one time and every other time you do not even mention where you guys have gone or whatever, until so and so complains about it.

You just do not want anything to do with the former spouse and the problem is having somebody connected to them through blood of your folks failed marriage. slow-clap-clap. Bravo.

I am person that will shutdown my life for somebody just to make sure that person has a little more life. While expending any portion of my happiness for them.

Canceling the trip is the best way because you keep money whining about this one person and your going to get played in the future when it comes around. By canceling you just ( be like "well something came up" ) could dump your kids on your ex so they could hang out and spend time, and maybe give yourself a vacation without letting them know. Or just be honest and say "I just do not have the funds" but again maybe your being cheap.

Cancel give yourself a vacation and let them hang out at their house.
Cancel and give the tickets to somebody else.
Pay fair and just be super hyper cheap for a couple of months to recover debt.

That makes everybody happy. I remember going to Six Flags.

Making my family go without food and basic utilities so an extra kid can go to Disney has got to be the most asinine idea. You may be willing to shut down your own life and happiness for someone, but I’m not willing to do that to the people I love. I pity any family you may have if you would force such upon them.

I also don’t have kids with more than one person, nor do I plan to. Don’t know where you got that idea, but then again you are the guy with the aforementioned award winning idiot idea. It’s understandable that you may become easily confused.

Despite what your deranged brain thinks canceling the trip would not make everyone happy. Quite the opposite.

My kids are super excited about this trip and have wanted to go for years. Without this job perk I would never be able to take them to Disney. No way in hell am I going to disappoint them by taking this away. Especially when I promised them. You remember going to six flags. Well, my kids are going to remember going to Disney.

Sending the kids away during our time with them wouldn’t make me or my wife happy either because surprisingly enough we actually enjoy spending time with them. I find the very notion of wanting to dump them sad.

I will be honest with my ex though and tell her I do not have the funds to take her sons with us.

Please ignore him - he's a twit. None of what he says ever makes sense.

I hope you guys have a fantastic vacation!

That's very well expressed.

Okay fine be the bearer of bad news, but it sounds more like if your pitting this against your ex via favoritism. Have you just flat out been honest to them and told them how much extra it would cost to bring the extra body? Maybe somebody from there side could fund them.

Just say "I can not afford this extra person, unless you pay their fair". That would put the ball back in their hand.

Does not matter they will have whichever or whatever time they will have and whatever memory will eventually be washed away with another.

To each their own.

I’m not exactly ashamed of favoring my kids or someone else’s.

I have told her how much it costs, but she cannot afford it. She doesn’t have any family either that can pitch in either.

I’m surprised that somehow memory of Six Flags didn't just get washed away.

So what was the result? Who's going to Disney?

It's unfair for one kid to go to Disney and the others to stay home, the other kids feel punished for doing nothing.

But I feel like this is an atrempt to buy their affections. Which is cheap as hell, because if you say no, you're the unfun parent who never lets them do anything (even if you were the first to invite), if you say yes, you've got no real time with them.

If you can, do this: some kids go with you, the others with him. And have certain events where the lot of you meet.

Did you even read his original post? Those other kids don't belong to his family.