Why terrorists are so quick to commit suicide

At Heathrow airport today an individual, later discovered to be a
public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphing calculator. Authorities
believe he is a member of the notorious Al-gebra Movement. He is being
charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

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The New version:

: Terrorist apprehended

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,", Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y"
and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

"As the Greek philanderer Iso sceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."

President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to
factor-in random facts of vertex."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their (RED?) necks.

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brahmin wrote:

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York.

Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog.

He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:

"Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"

The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!"

"Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:

" Brave American saves life of little girl'" - the policeman answers.

"But I am not an American!" - says the man. "Oh, what are you then?"

The man says: - "I am a Pakistani!" The next day the newspapers says:

"Islamic extremist kills American dog. Connections to terrorist networks are being explored"

So, what's the true story of 9/11? What good deed were those pilots trying to do according to you?

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Brandon9000 wrote:

[So, what's the true story of 9/11? What good deed were those pilots trying to do according to you?

What pilots ?.
The Airforce pilots who took the day off . Is that who you mean ?

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Brandon9000 wrote:

brahmin wrote:
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York.

Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog.

He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:

"Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"

The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!"

"Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:

" Brave American saves life of little girl'" - the policeman answers.

"But I am not an American!" - says the man. "Oh, what are you then?"

The man says: - "I am a Pakistani!" The next day the newspapers says:

"Islamic extremist kills American dog. Connections to terrorist networks are being explored"

So, what's the true story of 9/11? What good deed were those pilots trying to do according to you?

what pilot??

i pasted a joke about a pakistani islamic extremist killing an american dog. where does 9/11 come in the joke ??

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Brahmin,
The math-man one was a good one , Very Happy

, I have passed it on .
Thanks , keep 'em coming.

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lol ok ty.

meanwhile i hope you like my "afghan" joke in the "jokes about people from many places" thread here Smile

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brahmin, the al-gebra one cracked me up!!!!

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Humour goes for a toss in UK
from
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-1206560,curpg-1.cms

Have you heard the one about the British Muslim woman who didn't want to die a virgin? It wasn't the sex, she just didn't want to get to Paradise and have to shag a suicide bomber.

And there's the one about the British Asian young man who finds that rising post-7/7 prejudices against brown people have made a marked difference to his life as a London commuter. Earlier, he never used to be able to get a seat on the train. Now, he gets the whole carriage. Sometimes the whole network.

And then there's that other one about the young, bearded, Asian male who gets onto a London train, wearing a well zipped-up, heavy jacket that's clearly dangerously inappropriate for the British summer. While nervous passengers - poised for flight or a fight-unto-death with a suspected suicide bomber - look askance, he slowly moves his hands to the central zip fastening. Dramatically, he tears both folds of the jacket back, thus revealing to commuters cowering as they wait for a bomb to detonate, a T-shirt bearing this legend: "Don't freak, I'm a Sikh".

The English sense of humour is a funny business. Especially, after the July 7 wave of multiple suicide bomb blasts on London's transport network, perpetrated mainly by Anglo-Pakistanis bearing rucksacks. The comedic howl became even more of a laugh after the abortive suicide bomb attacks on July 21, perpetrated once again by four coloured men with rucksacks. Only this time, they were of African, not Asian descent, which probably explains why they couldn't make anything work, not even their bombs.

That was a joke by the way. The incident of the ho-ho T-shirt-wearing Sikh Londoner actually happened. The British Muslim woman who doesn't want to die a virgin is a gag from the laugh-arsenal of the rib-splittingly funny British Pakistani stand-up comedienne Shazia Mirza. And the young British Asian who finds wary train passengers giving him a wide berth and thus a seat, indeed the whole network, is the outpouring of second-generation immigrant stand-up comic Paul Chowdry.

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brahmin wrote:

Humour goes for a toss in UK
from
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-1206560,curpg-1.cms

Have you heard the one about the British Muslim woman who didn't want to die a virgin? It wasn't the sex, she just didn't want to get to Paradise and have to shag a suicide bomber.

And there's the one about the British Asian young man who finds that rising post-7/7 prejudices against brown people have made a marked difference to his life as a London commuter. Earlier, he never used to be able to get a seat on the train. Now, he gets the whole carriage. Sometimes the whole network.

And then there's that other one about the young, bearded, Asian male who gets onto a London train, wearing a well zipped-up, heavy jacket that's clearly dangerously inappropriate for the British summer. While nervous passengers - poised for flight or a fight-unto-death with a suspected suicide bomber - look askance, he slowly moves his hands to the central zip fastening. Dramatically, he tears both folds of the jacket back, thus revealing to commuters cowering as they wait for a bomb to detonate, a T-shirt bearing this legend: "Don't freak, I'm a Sikh".

The English sense of humour is a funny business. Especially, after the July 7 wave of multiple suicide bomb blasts on London's transport network, perpetrated mainly by Anglo-Pakistanis bearing rucksacks. The comedic howl became even more of a laugh after the abortive suicide bomb attacks on July 21, perpetrated once again by four coloured men with rucksacks. Only this time, they were of African, not Asian descent, which probably explains why they couldn't make anything work, not even their bombs.

That was a joke by the way. The incident of the ho-ho T-shirt-wearing Sikh Londoner actually happened. The British Muslim woman who doesn't want to die a virgin is a gag from the laugh-arsenal of the rib-splittingly funny British Pakistani stand-up comedienne Shazia Mirza. And the young British Asian who finds wary train passengers giving him a wide berth and thus a seat, indeed the whole network, is the outpouring of second-generation immigrant stand-up comic Paul Chowdry.

I feel that the humour is starting to decend into racism.

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Steve (as 41oo) wrote:

But whilst I reserve the right to challenge ideas even in robust terms I do not go along with the paranoia that appears to be gripping Bella.

I am not paranoid in any way. I am just pointing out a fact. Just like most serial killers are middle aged white males. I don't run from them. But the facts remain that they are the demographic that commits most the serial murders in the US.

I am not racist in any way. I do not shy away from people because of the way they look. I have a lot of Arabic descent people living in and around my city. I live near one of the largest (Arabic) populated cities in the US so I hardly think that I am paranoid that these people are going to get me.

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Bella Dea wrote:

I am not paranoid in any way.

I'm glad to hear that. If paranoia is expressing an irrational fear, then fear of muslims or Arabs per se is I think an example of it.

However we are dealing with a minority within a minority. They are imo psychopathic killers. Moreover, enjoying the same rights of citizenship as the rest of us, they are effectively invisible. Perhaps a degree of paranoia is understandable.

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Steve (as 41oo) wrote:

Bella Dea wrote:

I am not paranoid in any way.

I'm glad to hear that. If paranoia is expressing an irrational fear, then fear of muslims or Arabs per se is I think an example of it.

Exactly. I don't fear Muslims or Arabs. I fear the idiotic murderers who seek to kill me simply because I am American.

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But the idiotic murderers who try to kill you are more likely to be Arab and almost certainly Muslim than anyone else.

Fear that the "ordinary" Muslim you encounter may not in fact be very ordinary at all is quite understandable.

In Britain, for the terrorists, their actions are doubly effective. First suicide bombs terrorise and hence put pressure on government. Secondly they cause a reaction in the majority against the muslims as a whole, which is just what the advocates of terror want as it enables them to cast themselves as fighters defending an oppressed minority.

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Just as I write heard on the news the latest terror suspect in court is a muslim convert Andrew Rose from Maida Vale London...

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Why terrorists are so quick to commit suicide

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