She doesn't get to go on vacation!

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My wife has this idea that she DESERVES a vacation every year. She doesn't understand that sometimes life gets in the way of personal enjoyment. Last year we decided to take a trip to Charleston, SC for the 4th of July weekend which also is my birthday weekend. We put in for vacation from our jobs, got approved, found a hotel and made the reservations. It was going to be a driving trip since we live a few hours from Charleston. Vacation set and booked. Several months ago I started having issues with my SUV. Took it to a few shops and they diagnosed what they thought the problem was but they couldn't do the work. They said the timing chain needed to be replaced. Earlier in the year the same shop put on a new AC condenser and compressor but a few weeks later it was blowing warm again. Come to find out my evap core was leaking and the only way they could fix that problem was to take my entire dashboard and steering wheel out to get to it. Again, that shop couldn't do the work. I finally told my wife I was just going to take it to the dealership and see what they said. The total repair cost for my SUV is going to run around $4500 because there are a few things I wanted them to check. It wasn't the timing chain but something else inside the engine. I had to inform my wife that there was no way we could go to Charleston and I still get my truck fixed. Some things are more of a priority than going to sit in a hotel or walk on the beach. Ever since then my wife has been walking around the house like a big kid complaining how she took days off work for nothing. Or how she really wanted to go on vacation. And how she never gets to do anything. She has suggested we do a "staycation" but I don't think she fully understand what a staycation is. She thinks that means going to get a hotel room in your city or a few miles away and just lay up for a few days. Why would I want to rent a hotel room a few miles from our house just so she can feel like she's on a vacation. Again, I've got a $4500 repair bill coming soon. But now here's the kicker. Had my truck not started having issues we were going to drive my wife's car to Charleston. I was out last night running an errand and when I was on my way back home the service engine light in her car came on. I don't think it's nothing major, maybe just an O2 sensor needs to be replaced but my wife feels that there's always something coming up to where she can't do anything "fun". I have cancelled the hotel room in Charleston and my truck is at the dealership being repaired right now. I have absolutely no problem given I've taken the rest of the week off just lounging around the house. Waking up and not having to log into work for 3 days is totally fine with me. But my wife thinks that sitting at home for 3 days is wasting vacation days since she had already been approved for vacation. She's been mooping around the house like a 5 year old. Yesterday when my daughter came to pick up our granddaughter she mentioned something about what we were doing Fri and if we could possibly keep the grandbaby for the day. Of course knowing we're going to be home I have no problem watching our 1 year old g-baby. After my daughter left I heard this from her. "Ok, if we were still going on vacation what would your daughter do?" I looked at her and said, "but we're not so I have no problem keeping the baby for a few hours." In my wife's eyes I should have waited to get my truck fixed so we could still go on vacation. How could you go on vacation knowing you had a major repair that needs to be paid for once you come back home. And especially if your car is not working right. There's nothing worse than having a car that is down.

Without coming across too harsh, how do I get it through her head that I'm sorry my truck needs to be fixed and that cancelled our vacation but accept it and move on. There's no need to keep dwelling on something you have no control over. We're planning on going somewhere else in Oct but she doesn't care about that. All she can think about is we're not going anywhere this week. I'm getting a little fed up with having to apologize over and over for something that was completely out of my control.

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@Barry2021,

I get not going to Charleston due to unexpected repairs. Life happens. I do not get cancelling your vacation all together. It would have been easy to take some day trips to the mountains or the coast, something that provided you with together time but did not run a lot of money. You didn't choose to do that, and I can see her point, she might as well just go to work. And just to really make the point that this "staycation" is nothing special, you took on babysitting which completely ensures you two will not do anything fun as a couple. There is a middle ground here and you aren't looking for it.

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@engineer,

Good answer. Excellent suggestions.

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@engineer,

engineer wrote:

I get not going to Charleston due to unexpected repairs. Life happens. I do not get cancelling your vacation all together. It would have been easy to take some day trips to the mountains or the coast, something that provided you with together time but did not run a lot of money. You didn't choose to do that, and I can see her point, she might as well just go to work. And just to really make the point that this "staycation" is nothing special, you took on babysitting which completely ensures you two will not do anything fun as a couple. There is a middle ground here and you aren't looking for it.

No, I suggested driving to the mountains or doing something else for the day but my wife had her heart set on going to Charleston. That's all she had been looking for. And even if we would have done the smaller things all she would have talked about is how we could have been in Charleston. But now that the service engine light is on in her car she somewhat knows the shoes I'm in. Her car isn't running too good right now so I'm skeptical about even putting her car on the road for a while. Hopefully my truck will be fixed this week, according to the dealership, but I seriously doubt that will happen. But on top of that, my truck repair is $4500, any extra funds I have are going towards that repair.

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@Barry2021,

Well what I got from this is that your truck is more important then your lame donation......vacation to whatever place you want to go to.

Honestly question of the day. Is this person a car person?

That being said is the truck worth it to get repair or just to sell? That is where this is going. I know ...your brain is thinking the truck is worth it but the reality might be that you should get a new vehicle because traveling from destination to destination and just by leaving it parked the parts will go in time. It is like a fancy samurai sword. You think it is a thing of beauty but the reality you have to oil the swords, maintain it's sharpness ( if used I guess ), and other parts that will need to be replaced over time, unless you keep it tucked away from heat, water, and anything else that could cause problems.

Great your vehicle needs repairs but again "how much is it worth to postpone your vacation plans?"

........

Why not get a rental car, or even buy some cheap vehicle with no problems and sell it back after your done with it for the same price. Again blue-book value, and anything above $2000 is not worth it.

Again your brain says " I am comfortable enough to burn the cash" but the truth is that you should be thinking " Why do I need to travel anywhere at all and what is the point of it all ? " I mean if I was with a girl I would want to fakk fakk fakkk fakkk fakk in all sorts of ways, again why travel? Your just fueling the economy that you work hard to get from which is virtually slavery if you put it down on paper.

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@PoliteMight,

PoliteMight wrote:

Well what I got from this is that your truck is more important then your lame donation......vacation to whatever place you want to go to.

Honestly question of the day. Is this person a car person?

That being said is the truck worth it to get repair or just to sell? That is where this is going. I know ...your brain is thinking the truck is worth it but the reality might be that you should get a new vehicle because traveling from destination to destination and just by leaving it parked the parts will go in time. It is like a fancy samurai sword. You think it is a thing of beauty but the reality you have to oil the swords, maintain it's sharpness ( if used I guess ), and other parts that will need to be replaced over time, unless you keep it tucked away from heat, water, and anything else that could cause problems.

Great your vehicle needs repairs but again "how much is it worth to postpone your vacation plans?"

........

Why not get a rental car, or even buy some cheap vehicle with no problems and sell it back after your done with it for the same price. Again blue-book value, and anything above $2000 is not worth it.

Again your brain says " I am comfortable enough to burn the cash" but the truth is that you should be thinking " Why do I need to travel anywhere at all and what is the point of it all ? " I mean if I was with a girl I would want to fakk fakk fakkk fakkk fakk in all sorts of ways, again why travel? Your just fueling the economy that you work hard to get from which is virtually slavery if you put it down on paper.

What you see as just an old truck may be so much more to someone else. Getting rid of it at this point is not an option. No one is going to take a used SUV with no AC, a driver's side window that won't roll down, and an engine that needs major repairs as a trade in. Sure, take that $4500 and get a newer more reliable vehicle but all that does is start over car payments for the next 4, 5 , or 6 years. I've already invested $1500 a few months ago putting a new AC compressor and condenser in it only to find there was another leak in the system. That's why it's at the dealership right now. So just throw away $1500 and get another vehicle. And in this current economy sometimes it's worth holding onto something and putting a little work into it to make it last a little while longer than to just get rid of it. That always seems to be everyone's go to answer. "Just get a new(er) one." The funny thing with that statement is the person making the statement is never the person who will volunteer to help make those monthly payments. Not everyone makes $70 or $80k a year by themselves and can afford to just trash one ride and get another one. Some of us have to look into getting our rides fixed. That's what repair shops are for.

Yes, I suggested postponing the vacation to my wife to later in the year and maybe just take a shorter trip. Maybe just a weekend trip. But when I say postpone all she hears is cancelled.

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She doesn't get to go on vacation!

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