Is it okay that I leave my partner after she got paralyzed?

Reply Mon 20 Jun, 2022 09:38 am
To start off we had been growing apart and I was already been thinking about ending things. I feel bad though because she didn’t and was trying to bond more by getting involved in my favorite activities and that’s when she got hurt.

The doctors said she’s not going to get any better. Just listened to all the stuff he had to say. How things would change and all the things I would have to do. I don’t want my life to be this for the rest of it.

I got a great job offer recently. Its really competitive though and they need me there by next week. I really want to take it and go start over. Is it okay if I just go. She knew before the accident that it was a possibility I would leave, but now I feel like its expected I stay and take care of her.

Reply Mon 20 Jun, 2022 11:54 am
So... you didn't end it before, she was trying to please you by doing stuff you like, and then she got permanently, tragically injured.

And all you want to do is leave, change your number, and never hear from her again.


She's better off without you.
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Reply Mon 20 Jun, 2022 01:15 pm
Does she live near her family? How paralyzed is paralyzed? Is she currently in physio?

You don't say why you were thinking about ending things other than you were growing apart. Could you live with her the way things are? How easily could you live without her?

Have you discussed this with her? You've got some thinking and decision-making to do.

FWIW: I don't believe anyone should dedicate their life to someone they don't love or that they should stay out of guilt or obligation. That's just going to mess up both lives and would be like living a life sentence. I also don't think you're responsible for the accident. That's why they're called 'accidents'.

I hope you guys can talk this through so you're both okay.

Edit: Oh, and I'm very, very sorry this happened to her.
Reply Mon 20 Jun, 2022 03:02 pm
Save the guilt trip. It looks like your relationship was unraveling before she was paralyzed. It's unfortunate, but being responsible for a person whom you don't love, will make both your lives miserable.

Just go.
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Reply Mon 20 Jun, 2022 06:55 pm
She has a grandmother that lives a couple hours away. She has very limited hand function, but is technically considered a quadriplegic. She is in physical therapy. Just started getting interested in different things and didn’t seem to have much in common anymore. I guess I could live with her, but I really don’t want to. It definitely would be a lot easier to live on my own than with her. Haven’t discussed leaving since the accident.

Reply Tue 21 Jun, 2022 08:37 pm
I guess I could live with her, but I really don’t want to.

You answered the question yourself.
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