Please see below for more details. And I don't think she did anything wrong per se, so there's nothing to forgive. I just felt like I deserved to be told about it -- not to be asked for permission, but just to be made aware of it.
She and I seem to have different priorities regarding who or what deserves to be donated to. However, I can't have a say in it if I don't know about it, can I? I suspect she did not tell me about precisely because she didn't want us to have a discussion about the merits of the cause.
She donated 60 euro (about 70 US dollars) to an animal shelter. This is a small but kind gesture, and it might even help some animals get better care. However, the animal shelter is in Ukraine. There is an actual war going on there, with tens of thousands of people dead and millions displaced from their homes over the last 3 months. With so many people suffering, I would certainly consider directing donations toward helping people before animals. I would also do due diligence to check that the person or charity can be trusted to spend the funds the way they claim to.
How this came up: I suggested she could hold a fundraiser on Facebook (she has 7000+ friends and followers) selling one of her pieces of art, and we could then donate the proceeds to a charity in Ukraine. That's when she said she had already made a (smaller) donation a month ago.
For more background about us: we don't typically donate to public causes, but we help our family back home where we come from (which is not Ukraine).
The amount is not going to break us; that's not the point. The point is to share things and keep each other in the loop -- like a couple, you know? This issue was important enough for her to open her PayPal and send the money, but not enough to tell me about it.