Talk about your various addictions here

Merry Andrew wrote:

Jovana, I have gotten through cancer, clean. I have also overcome my alcoholism. What is your point? Simply labeling an alcoholic as 'morally weak' or 'lacking will-power' in no way helps that person. In fact, the trick is to convince the drunk or drug addict that he/she is not a bad person who wants to be good, but, rather, a sick person who should strive to get well.

Congraulations for overcoming cancer. That is a beautiful thing. Regarding your alcholoism, I really don't know what to say other than you are back to where you should be in the first place. No congratulations or hugs necessary.

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And for the record, I am not alcoholic. I would have been, but I stopped in time. I did take time to learn about it, what causes it, and what can be done about it. Learning not to blame others for our own anger is one of the key components of treatment both for alcoholics and those who love them.

(Edit to correct misspelling)

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Merry Andrew wrote:

Jovana, I have gotten through cancer, clean. I have also overcome my alcoholism. What is your point? Simply labeling an alcoholic as 'morally weak' or 'lacking will-power' in no way helps that person. In fact, the trick is to convince the drunk or drug addict that he/she is not a bad person who wants to be good, but, rather, a sick person who should strive to get well.

And, btw, is there some reason why you wish to be insulting to foxfyre?

I stand by my comments to which I am tired of hearing drug addicts and alcoholics who have devastasted the people around them with self-inflicted bad behavior patting themselves on the backs as if they accomplished some sort of miracle worthy of an award.

Like other drugs, we all know that there is a high probability of addiction if one overindulges. In addition, I am giving more credit than you realize. I am also making the assumption based on the comments posted, that these people are fairly intelligent. Intelligent people know when they are behaving badly, getting close to crossing a line, and then crossing a line into a point of no return. It's like heroin. There is a very high probability as reported that even just trying it once, there is a good chance of addiction. So why do it in the first place?

I don't believe I am insulting. I am merely stating my opinion that Alcholism is not a "disease". It is an out of control habit. And that I find Dr. Ameisen's report ridiculous. He traded one drug for another.

And if I sound insulting, I apologize. I just am tired of hearing and reading about this "disease" that isn't really a "disease". We all know smoking is addictive and causes devastation to the body and those around us. So why even start? The same goes with alcohol.

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Foxfyre wrote:

Learning not to blame others for our own anger is one of the key components of treatment both for alcoholics and those who love them.

Excellent advice for everyone in all walks of life!

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Jovana36 wrote:

Congraulations for overcoming cancer. That is a beautiful thing. Regarding your alcholoism, I really don't know what to say other than you are back to where you should be in the first place. No congratulations or hugs necessary.

I'm puzzled, Jovana. Why would you congratulate me for something over which I had absoluely no control? I was not an active participant in the cure. The surgeon who removed the tumor is the only one who deserves to be congratulated -- and thanked -- here. On the other hand, you really should congratulate me for overcoming my alcoholism. That was a struggle in which I was an active participant. It took a tremendous amount of will-power. I'm pretty proud of having beaten alcoholism. I can take no pride whatsoever in having survived cancer as I had nothing to do with it.

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Then may I say congratulations to you, Andrew? Very Happy

A very dear friend of mine (in fact, my closest friend) suffered from alcoholism & I know only too well the (ongoing) struggles involved in giving up alcohol for good. It's taken a great deal of strength on her part & constant vigilance, but she's getting there. Very Happy

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Why, thank you, msolga. Don't I get a hug?

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Oh, you'd like one, would you? Laughing

OK then, Andrew .... ya ready? Here we go!:

(((((((((Andrew)))))))))

Congratulations! Very Happy

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Merry Andrew wrote:

I'm puzzled, Jovana. Why would you congratulate me for something over which I had absoluely no control? I was not an active participant in the cure. The surgeon who removed the tumor is the only one who deserves to be congratulated -- and thanked -- here. On the other hand, you really should congratulate me for overcoming my alcoholism. That was a struggle in which I was an active participant. It took a tremendous amount of will-power. I'm pretty proud of having beaten alcoholism. I can take no pride whatsoever in having survived cancer as I had nothing to do with it.

Good point, MA. I'm proud of you too. I was also proud of my father when he stopped drinking. It took me many years to let the pride gain equal footing with the anger and pain I felt, but I know it wasn't easy for him and I was proud of him because it eased the hardship my mother carried for years and years. She was still living with him at the time, I wasn't. My parents had a number of happy years together once he stopped drinking. I was proud of him for that.

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Well congratulations to you JB for letting appreciation for your father's accomplishment overcome your anger. I grew up in an alcoholic home and it wasn't pretty. There's nothing quite like coming home from school to a mom passed out on the couch and a sadisticly abusive father--both prominent people of stature in their professions and social groups I might add. And then there were other alcoholics in my life after I grew up. I know all about the anger, frustration, fear, hurt, feelings of betrayal, etc. etc. etc. And it often manifests itself in our own unique psychosis that closely parallels that in the alcoholic.

To overcome that and achieve serenity and even appreciation for our own accomplishment and that of the recovering alcoholic is commendable and deserving of a hug. ((((JB))))) and (((((Andrew)))))) and ((((Msolga))))

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Well, if Joanna read through these pages (and since the old Abuzz' days, it is commonly known :wink: ), I am an alcoholic.

Might well be, some don't consider it as an disease.
However, the WHO and other international RELEVANT institution do so. And especially, the health insurance companies (at least here in Europe), which is more than just a bit of importance.

Coming back to my first paragraph here and why I wrote:
opposite to most others, I really don't think that there is reason to congratulate me: I just did it out of purest self-interest, with simplest instinct of self preservation: I didn't want to die.

Unfortunately, this idea didn't work for and on itself. So I had ask for professional medical and psychological help.

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eoe wrote:

Oh, a cocktail and your favorite tv show always goes better with a cigarette. In a crisis? Have a smoke to calm your nerves. Just sitting and chilling goes better with a smoke. Or reading. Or writing. Or painting. Coffee. After making love. Driving...

Haven't made it through the whole thread yet, but had to cite this one from one of my favorite contributers.

I've had my own gargantuan struggles with various "addictions" (I prefer to call them "truly compelling lifestyle choices") and my own experience tells me that we all got our own road to travel in life and sometimes we end up in the ditch and sometimes we're on a mega super highway and sometimes we're on a New England country lane in the Fall or a New Mexico mini-highway in red clay desert...but at the end, we all end up in the ground or up in smoke and in the immortal words of Winston O'Boogie (aka, John Lennon) "Whatever Gets Ya Through The Night".

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Aw, come on, Walter. Admit you want a hug. Smile

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My first addiction was prescription amphetamines, by the way--insidious tools of the devil those--but not terribly difficult to quit. I don't think doctors prescribe them anymore. The illegal stuff is quite a different story however--I never tried that but it's about as bad an addiction as it gets for those who get hooked on it.

Cigarettes were my other addiction. Now those are tough to quit, but like almost anything, its doable once you make up your mind you're gonna. It goes a lot better with backup and support though.

The alcoholic in my life quit booze 22 years ago. He got a lot of help to do it. Some 12 years ago he quit cigarettes. He did that cold turkey. He says neither were any picnic but there is no comparison between the two.

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Foxfyre wrote:

The alcoholic in my life quit booze 22 years ago. He got a lot of help to do it. Some 12 years ago he quit cigarettes. He did that cold turkey. He says neither were any picnic but there is no comparison between the two.

I quit drinking about the same time ago, and 20 years ago, I stopped smoking for about 5, 6 years - same procedure as the 'alcoholic of your life'.[Started unfortunately later again.]
I just 'told' myself that one addiction was enough and that it was only a matter of stopping smoking. This helped ... a bit :wink:

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Well, I quit smoking for three years and went back to it. I bet I've quit more times than you have. Smile

It has been 10 years now though, so I'm thinking I might have it whipped. One cigarette though and I would probably be right back to 3 packs a day in no time at all.

You'll quit though when you're ready.

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By the way Allan, I didn't mean to ignore your post. I'm not sure I understand it, but it was brilliant. I think. Smile

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Foxfyre wrote:

One cigarette though and I would probably be right back to 3 packs a day in no time at all.

You'll quit though when you're ready.

It really took only a couple of hours to be back to the old 'standard'.
(That's, too, one of the reasons, I'll never try to do the "test" if I was just boozing too much or really an alcoholic :wink: )

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I started smoking when I was 12 years old. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I quit 16 years ago, at the age of 33, when I became pregnant for the first time. Wanting to light up a cigarette is still my first inclination when I'm extremely stressed or angered. That's exactly what I do. I buy a pack of cigarettes, smoke one or two, and put the pack away. Over the course of the next three to four months I'll smoke an occasional cigarette. As they age and get stale, there isn't much reward so I'll usually end up throwing the last few away. I tend to smoke about 2 or 3 packs/year.

I try to drink alcohol in the same manner. Drink occasionally and for a reason, usually social. I discovered many years ago that I preferred to drink alone. Flags went up and I put a screeching halt to that habit, even though I am tempted to have some wine by myself when Mr B is out with his coworkers after work. I read the description of the 30 day test Foxfyre posted and I think I would fail. I don't need to try it to see. I know I have enough of a genetical link and personal temptation to drink heavily and I keep strong vigilance on myself to not go there. There have been times in my life when I drank heavily. Perhaps I would have officially qualified as a problem drinker or alcoholic. Fortunately I have enough memory of my bitterness towards my father's alcoholism to ever let myself stay there for long.

I describe myself as a 'one or three plus' drinker. I can have one glass of wine or drink and be fine. After one, I will desire a second but I can take or leave number two behind. If I have two, I will definitely have three or more. There have been days when, due to stress or whatever, I have acknowledge to myself that it would be a three glass night as I uncorked the bottle. Fortunately those nights are far and few between. I'm not proud of the fact that I can consume large quantities of alcohol and function normally. It kind of scares me actually, but that fear keeps me on my toes.

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I'm glad I started this thread. It has been interesting reading about people's struggles with addictions.

I think I'll change the subject line of this topic to reflect that.

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