4
   

AA question

 
 
Eliusa
 
Reply Sat 29 Nov, 2014 08:46 am
Friend is going to an AA meetings for 17 years.
I didn't know. Just found out. What does it mean?

When do people actually decided to do AA? Or it is prescribed?
3 times per week...seems a lot to me. Is he in trouble?
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Nov, 2014 03:48 pm
Could be court ordered, or a suggestion from a counselor or requirement for treatment.

0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Nov, 2014 03:56 pm
@Eliusa,
Have you asked your friend why he goes?

There are a number of different reasons people go, but they are generally based in difficulty controlling substance/alcohol use without the support of others/God.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Nov, 2014 04:01 pm
@Eliusa,
Quote:
When do people actually decided to do AA? Or it is prescribed?
3 times per week...seems a lot to me. Is he in trouble?


No court order is likely to run for 17 years.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Nov, 2014 06:22 pm
He probably goes because it's really easy to pick up emotionally vulnerable women and having sex with them. He's doing it because his wife isn't safisfying him at home.

Rolling Eyes
Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 Nov, 2014 10:25 am
@Eliusa,
It means there's probably a lot you don't know about your boyfriend. He probably told his wife he was going to a meeting when he was out on a date with you.
Eliusa
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 10:49 am
@Germlat,
LOL I KNEW someone will say that but no, it is a different person.
I am just surprised that I didn't picked it for all this time we had known each other. But I felt ashamed to ask because I always thought it is for freaks.
But he is like...normal. I could not even imagine him being drunk and crazy.

I am just wondering if they have to do something bad to get it ordered.
Seems like he said he is going willingly because it is good for him.
But WHY would anyone just go and waste so much time if it is not nesesary?
Is it fun?
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 10:53 am
No - trust him that it makes him feel good. It can be very therapeutic, but it's not therapy.

At some time, he decided that his life was getting out of control due to alcohol use. That can be financially, emotionally, health-wise, job-wise, relationship-wise. So talking with others who try to live one day at a time without drinking helps him feel better.

No, it's not just for "freaks" and you need to do some research on self help groups before you pass judgement on a person who attends one.
Eliusa
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 11:03 am
@PUNKEY,
Thanks for the info.
Sorry, I wasn't researching unless I cared, right? The reason I thought its for freaks was because I am passing by one of this facilities weekly and I see all these unfits standing there smoking and looking awful. I was always thinking it seems like they all hanged over from yesterday and what is the point going to such meetings?
NOW I have a different perspective, I actually KNOW a normal person who goes there and I am just surprised. I wanted to tell him like...are you hanging out with these hobos? But then I was just 'shut up'...lol
and I am glad I did.
0 Replies
 
Eliusa
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 11:10 am
@chai2,
So now anything I am saying is going to be about him?
I don't think so.
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 12:54 pm
@Eliusa,
Eliusa wrote:

LOL I KNEW someone will say that but no, it is a different person.
I am just surprised that I didn't picked it for all this time we had known each other. But I felt ashamed to ask because I always thought it is for freaks.
But he is like...normal. I could not even imagine him being drunk and crazy.

I am just wondering if they have to do something bad to get it ordered.
Seems like he said he is going willingly because it is good for him.
But WHY would anyone just go and waste so much time if it is not nesesary?
Is it fun?


Here....click on this nice link below and you will learn everything you need to know. Then, you will not have to ask any more questions about it here, because it even provides a phone number for you to call and ask anything else.
It will provide much more information than anyone here can.

http://www.aa.org/
Wilso
 
  3  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 02:32 pm
17 years? He/she obviously gets something from the meetings that he/she needs. Remember that the second 'A' means Anonymous.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 03:38 pm
@Eliusa,
Eliusa wrote:

So now anything I am saying is going to be about him?
I don't think so.


I didn't say anything about this being about anyone in particular.

AA is an excellent place for sexual predators to find victims.

It's also a place to meet some fine friends.

It does however, fill most if not all attributes of a cult.

Of course though, my saying that will cause someone to rush forward to say that AA says lives, helps people, etc. That it has. Even though that success rate is abyssmal. It's still a cult.

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult_a0.html
BillRM
 
  2  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 04:06 pm
@chai2,
Quote:
It does however, fill most if not all attributes of a cult.

Of course though, my saying that will cause someone to rush forward to say that AA says lives, helps people, etc. That it has. Even though that success rate is abyssmal. It's still a cult.


Well I do not know a lot about them other then what everyone happen to know but the label of cult seems kind of strong. For one thing I never hear that they try to get a person family out of the equation unless the family members also have drug or alcohol problems.

Now as far as their success rate being low my question is low compare to what other mode of treatments?

My impression is that severe drug and or alcohol problems treatment of any kind have very low success rates.
chai2
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 04:26 pm
@BillRM,
That's true Bill. You don't know a lot about them.

You probably don't hear a lot about what goes on there.
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 05:02 pm
@chai2,
Quote:
That's true Bill. You don't know a lot about them.

You probably don't hear a lot about what goes on there.


OK full us in please, as I am fairly sure that I am not the only one that is not fully inform concerning the AA.

By the way you stated that their success rate is low so my question is what programs/treatments have a better result then the AA.

footnote as a card carrying atheist I would have a problem with the religious elements in their program.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 05:15 pm
@BillRM,
Well, since you didn't click on the last link I provided (the 2nd of 2) which would have answered any and all questions as to it's cult atmosphere, I'll provide a similar one below that goes directly to the questions. It lists 100 attributes of a cult, and you can switch back and forth for the answers.

From the scan I did of maybe half of them I'd say it's pretty spot on. It ranks each of the attributes on a scale of 0 - 10. Some are obviously a zero, like "mass suicide" but there are a lot of 8, 9, and 10's in fact, on a quick glance, I saw some rated lets say a 7, that I personally would have said a 10, and vice versa. Mileage may vary.

Anything I could relate is written right there for you to read.

If you want to know the success rate, google it. I'm not here to spoon feed statistics to you. If something I said piques your interest, none of what I've said is a state secret, and can easily be found.

Here's that link...have fun.

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult_q0.html#cq_guru_right
chai2
 
  0  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 05:23 pm
In fact Bill, here is a thread from long ago, where I was more inclined to exercising my fingers on the keyboard.....

http://able2know.org/topic/145152-1
BillRM
 
  3  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 05:43 pm
@chai2,
Quote:
If you want to know the success rate, google it. I'm not here to spoon feed statistics to you. If something I said piques your interest, none of what I've said is a state secret, and can easily be found.


Perhaps but it was you who stated that their success rate was tiny so asking you to back that statement up does not seems unreasonable to me.
Wilso
 
  2  
Reply Mon 1 Dec, 2014 06:06 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:

That's true Bill. You don't know a lot about them.

You probably don't hear a lot about what goes on there.


I've been to AA and NA meetings. What goes on People share their experiences of inebriety and sobriety. Have a cup of tea or coffee and chat. Go home. I've never seen anything else.
 

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