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Wed 3 Aug, 2005 01:22 pm
ok, so sorry to just complain, but i am feeling seriously down in the dumps. so to start i will by telling you what is wrong with me...
1. kidney stones: starting at age 19 i had my first kidney stone. in the 10 years since then i have passed 6 and currently have 3 in one kidney and 2 in the other.
2. allergies: in the last two years i have developed the most horrible allergies that have sent me to the hospital once with anaphalaxis (sp?) and on two other occassions i have hit myself up with the epi pen to prevent going to the hospital. i also cannot eat chocolate, coconut, beef, chicken, msg, any grain other than rice, blue cheese, and whatever else my body feels like rejecting. i get allergy shots, take antihistamines and use nose spray.
3. high blood pressure: apparently i have high blood pressure for no reason. i have picture perfect cholesterol and the other thing they thought causing it came back normal today. but my blood pressure was around 170/110 and now i am on medication for that.
4. ovarian cysts: again at age 19 i had my first cyst. it burst shortly there after, no big deal. well since april 2002 i have had 4 surgeries to remove ovarian cysts and they get so big they have caused problems with my abdominal wall and inner organs by displacing them. so come today, i am in extreme pain which is in the normal place (right ovary) and so tomorrow i am going to have an ultrasound so they can tell me i have another cyst and have to have surgery again for the 5th time in 3.5 years.
so, i guess i am just overwhelmed today with not knowing why my bp is so high, i can barely eat anything because i am allergic to it all, i have generalized back pain from my kidney stones, and i am facing yet another surgery on my poor ovary which is causing some pretty severe pain. i know that there are people out there with much worse problems than me and i should just thank my lucky stars none of this is life threatening (except the bp which is under control by meds-so not truly life threatening any more). but i just can't get rid of the thought that i haven't atually had a day in 4 years where i just felt good.
my hubby doesn't understand because he is never sick and he can't fathom how one person can have so many problems (me either). my family used to think i was addicted to pain killers until my obgyn produced the pics from the laproscope of my ovary and a cyst full of necrotic blood pushing my uterus and bladder up and to the side. i just don't have any one else to vent to ...so you all get the brunt of it. sorry. and sorry that all of this is so trivial, but i just need something i guess and today it all kinda came to head for me.
thanks for listening...any thoughts? cuz i am pretty say today.
Hey, dragon...I feel the same way. I was telling my hubby last night through a fit of tears that I just feel defective! I get sick all the time too. I hear ya sister. I hear ya.
At least you don't have to shave any more. No ingrown hairs to add to that list!
Heeven wrote:At least you don't have to shave any more. No ingrown hairs to add to that list!
thanks! that made me laugh today heeven!
and to bella, i know we shall prevail, its just sometimes, i get a little overwhelmed.
I am sitting here today, bloated. Just went downstairs to the store to buy Dove Milk Chocolate. Melts on the tongue, that stuff. Mmmmmmm! All is right with the world again!
I don't feel it's trivial - gee, dragonma, that is a lot to deal with. Please complain here...
(And Bella, you're going to be feeling better soon...)
Oh God Dragon, don't be sorry - you're holding up better than most would.
Having chronic pain or illness is so hard, the fact it just doesn't let up.
How are your relationships with your doctors? Do they listen to you as well as treat you?
it is overwhelming.
it seems like your life is a soap opera from all the pains and discomfort.. not to mention the doctor trips.
not to minimise.. but the problems you have can be fixed.. it is just keeping your sanity UNTIL they get fixed .. well.. that can be the big issue.
do be cafeful of those painkillers though. Even when needed, they are addicting. ( preaching to the choir I know;-) )
we should all get together and invent a body swap machine.
When ours starts to break down, we rent another one until it is fixed..
dragon, I am very sorry to hear of all your maladies. Ladies from Virginia are NOT supposed to have problems. Say that to yourself several times. <smile>
Where in Virginia are you from, incidentally?
Chai Tea wrote:How are your relationships with your doctors? Do they listen to you as well as treat you?
my dad is a doc so he sends me to all the docs he thinks are the best. and yes most of them listen to me. i just got really upset when at one point, they all concluded i was addicted to painkillers and wrote me off. including my father. when in actuallity what had happened was a previous cyst had messed things up so badly inside, it took them 3 hours in there open abdominally to fix it all. thanks for the vote of confidence on their part.
yeah i know its all fixable, but i guess my frustration shewolf is it all keeps recurring. i drink a butt load of fluids, kidney stones still there. i am BC to prevent ovulation-cysts keep recurring. it seems like i am just bandaiding all it.
Letty wrote:dragon, I am very sorry to hear of all your maladies. Ladies from Virginia are NOT supposed to have problems. Say that to yourself several times. <smile>
Where in Virginia are you from, incidentally?
virginia beach. i am 5 minute drive to the beaches of the chesapeake bay and 10 minutes to the oceanfront. its quite nice i must say
are you from VA?
Sure am, dragon, and I have great friends in Virginia Beach. Been there several times. Before I moved to Florida, I was a Virginia girl from a small town but my ancestral home is near Charlottesville, Virginia. ReadJonBoy is from Charlottesville.
I live two blocks from the Atlantic Ocean here, and on a decent day, I can smell that salt. Fabulous.
i love charlottesville. great history there and beautiful scenery. my parents live on the water here and i love that salt smell...enjoy!
See? You're feeling better already. <smile>
crinkle crinkle little star.........
shewolfnm wrote:crinkle crinkle little star.........
small price to pay for hairlessness...
A multitude of physical problems--all to be lived with rather than cured.
Ugh.
I'd guess that the allergies are the most life-hampering of your woes, but kidney stones are unpleasant and cysts are unpleasant and blood pressure woes are irksome at any age, but particularly when you are young and therefore Automatically Healthy.
That Young & Automatically Healthy is confusing for your husband. Men pick up and retain information about sports injuries and their own medical problems and eventually tune in to the ailments of their loved ones. This tuning in takes time.
He means well--he just hasn't come to grips yet that he has to mean well all the time. You don't get used to the pain of a kidney stone or an ovarian cyst or the deadly reaction to an allergy--but they all tend to blend together in his mind. He's trying to make the effort to comprehend that every kidney stone is another occasion for pain--but this is hard for a Young & Automatically Healthy to do.
Some days it hardly seems worth getting out of bed--but most days you do get out of bed and on a high percentages of those out-of-bed days, you run.
One step. One step. One step.
Everyone loves to make metaphors about icebergs because of all that unseen mass under the surface of the ocean. You not only have all this sneaky, suffering mass under the surface you have to tow it with you through life.
Unfair. Maddening. You really lucked out in the genetic lottery.
Hold your dominion.
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