Would you bail him out?

It's strange, almost every thread he starts has to do with how unhappy he is with his wife.

I don't know.

He does seem to treat every day setbacks as some sort of disaster.

Yeah. It's a weird thing. Almost as if he work shopping his story.

I would suggest that you step back and let the legal system take the steps that it will go through. When he gets arraigned he will probably have to report for drug screening every day for both alcohol and drugs. If he can’t be clean then he’ll be put back in jail. So that may be an incentive for him to get off the weed.

In the meantime there is the issue of where he is going to stay. If he doesn’t have a friends house to go to and I would suggest that you put him up at a hotel (a cheap one. ) There will be mutual restraint orders for both him and the ex so he can’t see her for a good while.

I agree, you don’t need to bring that negativity into your house. It sounds as though there have been issues with this fella for a very long time and it’s not going to be solved in two or three days. I also would suggest that you step back and be quiet and that your wife be the front person in dealing with him. But I would put my foot down and not let him come into your house.

Sitting in your driveway and sleeping there is very sick. It also gives him the message that he is not worthy enough to even have a bed.

If he were my son, he would be dropped off at the nearest in- house drug treatment center. He needs help. It will also show the judge he is getting himself some help.

In order to get help he has to want to get help. He thinks his weed smoking is totally fine and he has it under control. Obviously he doesn't. But you can't tell a kid that age who feels he knows more about how to run his life anything. They bonded him out last night so my wife and her mother (his grandmother) got together and paid the $250 to bail him out. He now has to wear a monitoring ankle device. He has to be home by 7 PM and can't leave till like 6 AM the next morning. He will lose his job because they do not take into account that he works 3rd shift. He now doesn't have a car to get around because the ex, who co-signed for the car, now has possession of the car and won't give it back to him. Since he has to be in the house at a certain time my wife has agreed to let him sleep in our spare bedroom which is now just a junk room. After all the kids moved out we just started putting stuff in there. It has no bed but he has an air mattress on the floor. One major stipulation is NO WEED or WEED SMELL inside the house. He can't go to a hotel simply because of the ankle monitoring device. Plus, we're not going to pay for him to lay up in a hotel. No, I don't feel sorry for him because these are the things he brought upon himself. We have told him a number of times to leave that girl alone but he kept going back to her, or some other girl then back to her.

The bit about the ankle monitor is BS.

Please explain to me how that is BS. You're talking to someone who has NEVER worn one so enlighten me/us on how that works.

Ask your son.

Assuming you asked him and he told you it's BS?

Assumption: the mother of all ****-ups.

You said the bit about the ankle monitor is BS but have not provided any statement or evidence to support your belief.

You made the statement without explanation. Explain how the monitor got on the ankle. It isn't like this is this is the first time you've been challenged on a hinky detail.

Bobsal,

Are you an idiot or have you not read any of this thread? He clearly explained how and why the ankle monitor is on the boy.

Firstly:8) No personal attacks

https://able2know.org/rules/

No personal attacks on other members. Heated arguments are okay; mudslinging and calling each other names is not. It’s not okay when done in response to attacks on you or others either; please just report and downvote the offending comment instead. (If you feel provoked by offending comments, you can also use the "ignore user" function.) Creating topics specifically to criticize or mock another individual member is definitely not okay. Neither are specific or credible threats to other members.

Secondly: Do you not know the difference between 'how' and 'why'?

And he never said why, only that the kid was monitored. Why, how and who is monitoring the kid.

Had you read the OP and then the subsequent posts from Barry you would have seen that the step-son and the ex-girlfriend got into it and he was arrested for domestic assault. That's the reason for the ankle monitoring device. He was released pending trial but has to wear the ankle device to keep track of his whereabouts. So the how and why has always been there had you chose to read the entire thread and not just one of the last updates.