Wouldn't you just love to have a pet like this?

If you have a talking bird, don't you think you'd be smart enough not to say F*ck off all the time around it?

When I was a kid we had a bunch of cats and one parakeet that belonged to my sister.

My brother made a tape loop saying "here kitty kitty kitty" that he would set up under the bird's cage every morning after my sister left for school and sneak away before she returned.

Eventually the bird began to say "here kitty kitty kitty" all on its own.

That crazy bird's cage was always surrounded by cats.

I heard a series of interviews with that bird last night. They were having trouble getting him to swear on the radio.

They interviewed the bird?

I sooo want a bird like that.

What other great things would you teach a bird like that to say?

I'd teach it to say, "You're a stupid b*tch, Debbie", so I could piss off my sister-in-law, and then I could shrug and go, "birds...where do they get these things?"

I think I love that bird.

Well, Heeven, I can understand why you would. You're two of a kind. You are both foul-mouthed fowl.

Hmmm...actually, I'm not sure if Emu's qualify as fowl. Foul, yes, but fowl? Hmmm...actually, I'm not even sure if a Macaw is technically considered "fowl."

Awww, screw it, I'm still leaving this goddam post the way it is, cuz I think it's a goddammed good pun, even if it isn't one, technically.

the only bad thing that bird said was wanker!

Yeah, I've often thought it would be fun to have a parrot and actually thought about getting one a couple of times.

I used to know a guy who had a parrot. He taught it to say things like you'd hear in a gangster movie -- things like "Don't move!! I've got a gun!!" and "You'll never take me alive!!"

It was pretty funny. They actually seem to sort of understand what they're saying too. They're very intelligent.

They can live to a ripe old age too, 70 or 75 years old. They're pets for life.

Having a parrot can be quite amusing. And hellish.

About two? years ago a friend left us their blue and gold macaw to watch while on vacation, and decided they didnt want him back. He's in his mid thirties and can be the sweetest little bird that can suddenly turn into the cranky old man he is. If you love the sound of a screeching banshee that can be heard all the way down the street, then you're in luck; you've found your perfect companion.

But of course, Rockey (aka PigPig and Poultry in a Clownsuit) has been working on these behavior problems and has come a long way. He's even expanded his rather limited vocabulary to include words like crack rock, amongst other things (and this was of his own doing- he creates new words by combining old words he knows; crack rock is a conglomerate of cracker and rock-rock)

Intelligent? Very much so. Rockey couldn't help but wriggle into my heart. But as much fun as he is, he's also a huge amount of work (feeding,cleaning, entertaining, repairing things he destroys...)

I'm not quite sure this fits in with the rest of the posts, but I just saw the "oooh how cool would a parrot be" and recognized that as the thoughts I had at first too; and it is cool, don't get me wrong. But just because we people are fascinated by other animals picking up human speech, the birds themselves have so much more to them.

Isn't Winston Churchill's parrot still alive? I thought I read some where that he makes remarks about the Nazi party and whatnot...

That's some funny ****, boomer. I like the way your brother thinks.

Go figure.

The knucklehead is a colonel (soon to be general) in the army. I keep threatening to call his boss with these stories. I've got some good **** -- way better than bird talk -- on this guy. They seem to like him though.

I guess it's a strategery thing or something.

I've never pretended to understand.

Hey, SneakyBeaky, welcome to the wonderful world of A2K! That avatar of yours is really cool, by the way.

Rocky? Your bird is named Rocky? My CAT is named Rocky! Maybe we should get them together sometime...er, actually, maybe not.

Thanks muchly!

Yeah...I think my bird would totally own your cat. No offense or anything, but he's a beast and a half, even if he only does have one eye (makes him more pirate like, no?).

Yeah, you're probably right. My cat's a real pussy.

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind, and she had three sons who wanted to prove which one was the best to her.

Son #1 bought her a 15-room mansion, thinking this would surely be the best that any of them could offer her.

Son #2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes with a chauffeur included, thinking this would surely win her approval.

Son #3 had to do something even better, so he bought her a parrot that he had been training for 15 years to memorize the entire Bible. You could ask the parrot any verse in the Bible, and he could quote it word for word. What a gift that would be.

Well, the old lady went to the first son and said, "Son, the house is just gorgeous, but it's really much too big for me. I only live in one room, and it's too large to clean and take care of. I really don't need the house, but thank you anyway." Then she confronted her second son with, "Son, the car is beautiful. It has everything you could ever want on it, but I don't drive and really don't like the chauffeur, so please return the car."

Next, she went to Son #3 and said, "Son, I just want to thank you for your most thoughtful gift. That chicken was delicious."

Oh my Lord! She ate the parrot?!!!

She thought it was a friggin' chicken?!!!!!

Gus, you're so cute when you play dumb.

I was looking for you, littlek. I wanted to talk to you about something, but now I have to leave. Another time perhaps.