Fairy tale affiar comes to an end can we still be friends

I don't think there is a problem with a woman being friends with another man. But I don't think that is the kind of relationship you have. Once one of the persons involved develops feelings beyond just being friends I think the relationship becomes unappropriate.

I also wanted to take the time to agree with flushd. Once you find a woman that loves you back the way you love her it is a wonderful thing. Don't give up on marriage and relationships. I wasn't even looking when I found my wife and I could never ask for anything more. I think love, when it is matched up correctly, comes really easy. If you have to work at it, it may be a clue that something isn't right.

yeah your right, but seriously even if nothing happend between us and she was thinking about another guy while being married and couldn't stop thinking about that other person. does that mean that the marriage is weak? I don't know if she's weak for cheating or strong for staying. Somtimes I think she's just lying about alot of it and she's just bored with her marriage and wanted to try somthing different.

Thinking about another person does not mean a marriage is weak. It merely means a person is human. Thinking about another guy does not consistute cheating. Acting on those thoughts is when somebody becomes a cheater.

If she is with you because you are her friend then I see nothing wrong with that. But if she is with you because she is keeping her options open (which I think she may be doing) then I think she is using you and being untrue to her husband.

That's the whole thing. She told me that she's in love with me, but still loves him, but she said that she hates him because he's not there for her. Very confusing and it's hard to believe that she didn't have sex with him in 2 years and after I told her that we couldn't still do what we were doing I spoke to her about how she could be intimate with someone who she hates and she said that she tryed and she had to stop cause it was horrible.

Now is she telling me all this Im in love and I hate my husband but have to stay in this relationship and try to make it work, just to make me feel better? or can she really store her feelings?

she says that she puts her feelings last and that she wants to see me happy in life. can she really put her feelings for me aside and be my friend because it's the right thing to do cause she's married and cause it's not fair to me?

I'm sorry that I'm blabbing on about this it's just that i remember telling myself that if I ever had the chance to show this girl how much I love her and how I want to be there for her, that I would take the chance, so it's not just any married girl that I met. I would never gotten involved with anybody else that was married. THANKS FOR TALKING TO ME ABOUT THIS AND HELPING ME UNDERSTAND THE THINGS THAT SHE SAYS TO ME.

Look... here is the deal. If she really cared about you and "wants to see you happy in life," if she really does love you and hate her husband, then why is she still with him and playing with you behind his back?

If she really meant any of those things she said she would stop using you as a friend on the side, take care of her marriage (either work things out or divorce him) and only then deal with your relationship and the love she professes to have for you.

I think she wants her cake and eat it too. It is not your responsibility to solve her problems. I think my advice to walk away and not look back is still a good decision. My guess is as long as she is in this situation she will only continue to make you as unhappy as you are now. Walk away and don't talk to her until she has her own business worked out... and who knows... maybe by then you'll have found someone who treats you right :wink: