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JUST READ THE SECOND TO LAST POST HELP!!!

 
 
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 08:17 am
Ok, so as you know I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we have had a really bumpy relationship at times.....

So here I am with my friend at the beach one day and my ex's sister comes over and starts to hang out with my friend and I (the two of them are good friends)...

So my friend and my ex's sister and I start hanging out alot more and of the next few weeks we develop a bond...(the ex's sister hated me before because of the ex getting hurt)

So she calls one night and says her brother(my ex) is having a party and that we should stop by.... Now I am VERY iffy about this because I haven't spoken to him in 2 years and last I heard he wasn't too fond of me..... so after a long debate we go to this party....

I speak to the ex for maybe a minute right before I leave (I was there for half an hour) and then he gives me a hug, and it was one of those stupid hugs where he held on for a minute....

I get a phone call the next day from my friend and his sister saying that my ex has a big crush on me and he wouldn't stop talking about me....


SOOOO He had 2 more parties this weekend and I stopped into both and I told him I had a boyfriend (REMEMBER he DOESN'T know that I know that he likes me) and he goes on telling me how lonely he is and that his sister loves me now and that she asked him why we broke up and he said he doesn't know....

So know he likes me alot... and granted I will always have feelings for him.... but I am sooo confused now... see I love my boyfriend very very very much... but I am not quite sure if I am in love with him.. I am just comfortable

And now I can't stop thinking about my ex and I keep dreaming about him and waking up thinking he is next to me.....

WHAT DO I DO?
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 08:28 am
I remember that you are comfortable with your boyfriend but I seem to also remember that he can be pretty abusive, and thinking that you should get out of that. (Not sure, I haven't gone and reread posts).

Tell us more about the ex...
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 08:36 am
Why did you n him break up?

Sounds like you are after something new coz your current relationship is 'comfortable'.

Also seems to me like your ex has come back from wherever he has been and is just after a bit of rumpy pumpy.

ARe you willing to riskwhat youve got or are you looking for pastures new?

It sounds like you are tempted as you are asking for help.
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Crazielady420
 
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Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 08:37 am
The reason why I left the ex was because he was not at the maturity level that I was at.. he threw a temper tantrum in my car because he told me he had rules and I laughed at him and told him I don't follow rules..... so he started wailing his hands and feet and crying "why doesn't anybody listen to me)... and he is older than me!

So I broke up with him the next day..... then again at the time we were both hung up on our ex's at the time....

But on a good note, he is sweet and funny... really cute and an awesome friend....

If I didn't have my boyfriend then I'd def. go for my ex and give him one more chance...

My ex also told his sister that he is "the ex" and the he could "start hanging out with me again" and then I "will realize that I still 'love' him and that I will want him back"
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 08:43 am
material girl wrote:
Also seems to me like your ex has come back from wherever he has been and is just after a bit of rumpy pumpy.


No he is looking for a relationship.... we actualy never really fooled around so to speak and we dated for awhile...
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 08:49 am
In that case, find out if he has matured.Thats your first port ofcall.

Also talk to your current bf and see where he thinks your relationship is going.

If you break up try the ex again.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 08:56 am
I am just afraid that I am going to be hanging out with the ex one day in the future and that he may try to kiss me or something stupid and I will obviously stop him due to the fact of my current bf...... but I don't want to hurt my ex and lead him on but I kinda like him again
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 09:05 am
If you tell him you have a bf and he tries to kiss yuo then you know he hasnt matured much!
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Crazielady420
 
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Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 09:17 am
Hmmm.. very true MG, good point, I never looked at it that way, thank you!!

Another question then, do you think it is a bad idea to hang out with him when I know that he likes me?
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 09:58 am
No, people are meant to control their feelings if they are not sure that its mutual.

Tho if yuo like him you may accidently over flirt which he may take as a good sign.So you may have to restrain yourself.

Have fun but not too much while your attatched.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 10:11 am
Thanks guys, I am just a lil' confused right now
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 10:18 am
How are things with the current boyfriend? Is he less volatile now? Would you be able, for example, to tell him that you were going to an A2K get-together without him getting upset (I remember that being a no-go-Zone before)?

Is he still threatening other people?
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 10:27 am
Well he still doesn't know that A2k even exists... and he still has his temper but he has gotten alot better because I have starting sticking up for myself and telling him to f off and not tell me what to do... his new thing is getting mad at me and saying mean things and then saying he was just joking (even tho I know he really wasn't)....

He is less threatening but I am waiting cuz everything has been too good to be true for awhile now...

Yes I would be able to go to A2k cuz I'd just tell him I am going out with some friends and that would be the end of it I guess yet he would ask me a million questions
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JLLLLLL
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 02:05 pm
Iam curious how can you still have feelings for an ex- while your with some one else, i've heard that quite so many times i mean she will say i will always have love for him even tho i will never be his again i don't under stand that. is it that you have a spot in your mind for him or a memory of him or what. me i hate my ex-es. and i don't have no love for them at all.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 04:11 pm
Well when you love someone then that love may burn out but sometimes it never dies. Maybe you just haven't found the right person to hold onto
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 04:56 pm
You're right, izzie.

Sometimes the romance ends, sometimes you don't love the person as a partner anymore - but you can still love things about them, like them, love them - just not be in love anymore.
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2005 05:20 pm
crazielady wrote:
The reason why I left the ex was because he was not at the maturity level that I was at.. he threw a temper tantrum in my car because he told me he had rules and I laughed at him and told him I don't follow rules..... so he started wailing his hands and feet and crying "why doesn't anybody listen to me)...


Excuse me, I have something to do. I rarely do this, so forgive me while I try to figure this out. Oh....there it is....

Shocked
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Roofingguy
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Jul, 2005 01:08 am
definetly sounds like crazy is still crazy for the ex,if you ask me sounds like a dumb teenage thing she obiously is not into her current guy,cuz she keeps thinking of the ex,and the old relationship definetly sounds like aproblem relationship, so eventually theill go back togheter and then break up when problems start again,then togheter than break up,typical teenager.
it is my opinion that she dont even know what she wants?

i think the maturity level has to grow on both sides Rolling Eyes !!

i think shes better off with no boyfriends before she cheats on one or fights with the other one
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Jul, 2005 05:23 am
Roofingguy wrote:
definetly sounds like crazy is still crazy for the ex,if you ask me sounds like a dumb teenage thing she obiously is not into her current guy,cuz she keeps thinking of the ex,and the old relationship definetly sounds like aproblem relationship, so eventually theill go back togheter and then break up when problems start again,then togheter than break up,typical teenager.
it is my opinion that she dont even know what she wants?

i think the maturity level has to grow on both sides Rolling Eyes !!

i think shes better off with no boyfriends before she cheats on one or fights with the other one


For starters Yes I may be young(20) but I am quite mature for my age when I need to be... Yes I am into my current boyfriend I love him very much, we have been together for two years... we have a home (apartment) together and he is a big part of my life.... but I have also come to the understanding that our relationship will not last forever.... and I accept that.... he will always be a very big part of my life, he has made an everlasting impact on me... but we are at a stage where we are comfortable with each other... I still love him but I am not in love with him like I used to be.... I want to be able to feel the "butterflies" again.... the spark in the relationship is dying and I don't want it to get so bad that we lose our friendship also..... he's not only my boyfriend, he is one of the best friends that I have....

I will NOT cheat on my current boyfriend for numerous reasons..... I.E. I wouldn't want him to do that to me.... and if in fact I did want to eventually get back with my ex why whould I cheat on my current boyfriend... then the ex would think that I would just do it to him....

I know what I want very much, I want to find that one person I am going to be with the rest of my life with, but I want that person to always make me feel young at heart.. and I know that they are out there..... I want to be successful and by doing so I can't have someone that will bring me down.

This is NOT a dumb teenage thing, I went through that when I was 16.... I don't need the kiddie bullsh*t and the drama....

The old relationship was a slight problem but it was also part of growing up and if some day in the future he can prove to me that he has grown then yes there may be a possibility of me getting back together with him but that wouldn't be for months maybe even years down the road....

My goal in life right is to get where I need to be to keep my stable... then I will worry about the boys!! But I came here to get advice from people that I trust.....

So thank you very much for your input roofingguy but I think that you may have taken my post wrong!!! But it's cool cuz I am Crazy! Laughing
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Wed 27 Jul, 2005 07:04 am
Tremendous post, izzie.

Crazy in the best possible way.
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