On-line Dating

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To be honest? I've never tried any on-line dating. But I was talking with a (male) friend today who has tried, and he told me some pretty interesting things. I actually wrote this down, so I could share it with you.

He signed up with the yahoo dating site. He did the usual stuff, provided some info about himself and the type of woman he was looking for (with the age range of 28-35). He did not, however, provide a picture. Not that he's bad looking, just didn't have any good pics of himself available at the time.

He told me that he received very little response. He also noticed that when he sent out emails to women, many of them were not even opened.

He concluded that many people on these on-line dating services were just treating it as some sort of interactive video game and were not really serious about finding someone to go out with.

Then he decided to run a little experiment. He went into his profile, made a few adjustments, and changed it from "Man Seeking Woman" to "Woman Seeking Man."

He was amazed at the number of responses from men he received. Let's just say, "waaay more!"

These are the results he got:

As "Man Seeking Woman" he found about 8 women in his town, 4 a little further out.

As "Woman Seeking Man" he found about 30 men in his town, 10 a little further out!

By applying a little mathematics, he also figured that women averaged about 24 hours on the site every 3-7 days. But men were on the site almost 24/7!

Oh! Here's one funny note -- among the "male" responses he received, he recognized one name. It was a buddy of his who was trolling the same site looking for women! Not only that, his buddy was among the top 2-3 matches he received.

"If he were a woman, he'd be exactly what I was looking for -- and if I were a woman, I'd be exactly what he was looking for," my friend told me.

LOL!! I told him he should have played along and set up a date with his buddy!!

Anyway, I was really surprised at the results he got. I would've bet anything -- even a week's pay -- that there would have been far more women on the site looking for men.

Anyone else surprised? Thoughts, comments?

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Why would that surprise you? Men are horny as hell, and they don't feel that they have to worry about meeting predatory psycho bitches online. Women are more reticent about getting on a dating site because they have to worry about predatory psycho dickheads.

Also, in the real world, all a woman has to do is go to a bar late at night and act a little flirty to meet a man.

Men have to jump through hoops of fire to get a woman usually.

Unless the guy is like Slappy Doo Hoo. Then he just has to slip something in their drink when they're not looking. He's a playah!

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I tried an online dating service once and they matched me up with a rusty spoon.

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How was she?

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Ha! Good one, gus!

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Why would that surprise you? Men are horny as hell

But don't women outnumber men? By, something like, 5 to 1? So I'd would have thought there would be far more women out there looking for someone.

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all a woman has to do is go to a bar late at night and act a little flirty to meet a man

That's very true. You've got a point there. But, as a woman, I can tell you that you run into the same problem there about meeting the "predatory psyco dickheads."

You can go to a bar and act "flirty" and maybe a guy will buy you a couple of drinks. But many women, such as myself, won't let it go any further than that. Because if you actually leave the bar with him, you don't know if his eyes are going to suddenly glaze over and he's going to turn into a total whacko.

Personally, getting raped -- and possibly murdered -- is not my idea of a good time!

But with the online dating, sounds like you'd have more of a chance to chat with someone, get to know them a little, maybe set up some sort of "safe" date -- like getting together for lunch or coffee a couple of times first.

That's why I surprised more women aren't doing that. But then, I'm not! At least, I haven't tried it ....yet!

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Dating Match.com, Yahoo, Lavalife, Harmony
I did them all...it's as addictive as a online games. I would check it every day, several times a day. I dated quite a few, but to be honest, they were all desperate. Not only that, they had at least 4-10 women on the line at the same time. After dating this Southwest Airline pilot, I realized after some digging, that he was sending much more of himself to other girls (naked) and close ups of his privates. I realized at that moment, that its the BBD (bigger and better deal). This type of guy is never satisfied. Once your flavor gets boring, he sneaks online to see what's out there. I kept a close I to see if this would happen. He happened 100% of the time. And, they have a different persona with whomever the girl is...I would NOT recommend it. I would go through friends, shopping at the grocery store, work related events, or something else. If you have some serious money, I would recommend a dating service on the high end. Not the everyday dating service, but a really high end one.

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I've used an online dating service. Met some very nice women but haven't actually got beyond a couple of dates with them - partly because I'm damn picky, no matter how I meet women!

I've not given up on it, yet.

KP

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I don't trust dating services ...only because you don't know if the person is telling the truth about themselves or if they are an ax murderer. But how else are you suppose to meet anyone? Bars? Who wants to tell the kids..."Yeah, I picked your mommy up at a bar one night and the rest is history" Most bar scenes are not people looking for long term committment.

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Bella Dea wrote:

I don't trust dating services ...

You shouldn't have to trust dating services,,, you're married :wink:

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jpinMilwaukee wrote:

Bella Dea wrote:
I don't trust dating services ...

You shouldn't have to trust dating services,,, you're married :wink:

I personally don't but my best friend decided to do the online dating thing and I didn't like it. I was waiting for that call from her family telling me they found her hacked up in some storage unit.

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There are far more men on web-based personals. I know a girl that put an ad(no picture) on craigslist and got 100 responses. A guy might get a few.

It's really the same as meeting people at bars, or anywhere in public. Attractive women don't have to usually do the chasing, so even if they do put an ad online, they can just watch the responses flow in and respond to who they want....kind of like when they walk into a bar.

So there's just as many single women as men, but men have to be more pro-active then women to meet the opposite sex.

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Without online dating, where would I find meth addicted, Wiccan cat hoarders? I mean, besides the state fair? And what would I do with these chains?

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I personally don't but my best friend decided to do the online dating thing and I didn't like it. I was waiting for that call from her family telling me they found her hacked up in some storage unit.

Yep! Bars are not a good option. I don't really care to have somebody slobbering to me, "mmmm buy goo a drinnnk?"

But the online dating thing? It scares me to be honest.

So how did you meet your husband, Bella?

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I used to do the online dating service as well.
I posted apicture and my email box was always flooded. I had alot of first time dates and a handfull of 2nd and 3rd dates.
Wack jobs? Oh yes, I met quite a few. Some of them I was lucky enough to weed out by email. The rest I had to endure at a restaurant or somewhere else. >sigh<
There were a few really nice men that I met and one who ended up being a life friend. I still talk to him today.
But I think the percentage of wackos in the online dating scene is about the same as in a bar, or club, park,grocery store..e tc.
Finding someone to date takes time and alot of people are under the impression that dating and meeing from an online service gets rid of the possibility of a wacko. WRONG! lol
wackos have computers as well.

Funny..
I met Mr Wolf on vacation while I lived in NM. I came to texas to see a female friend , had NO intention of dating, trying to find a man, or even a one night stand.... and when I wasnt looking.. I found him .
So for shits and grins him and I signed up with a dating service about a year ago to see if it would match us up, and he was listed as a 1% chance of success for me and I was a 5% chance for him. Confused

ha!

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Hee! Just shows you -- sometimes the old fashioned way of meeting people is still the best.

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If the alternative is going to bars, I think online dating is definitely preferable.

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ehBeth wrote:

If the alternative is going to bars, I think online dating is definitely preferable.

Hey now,

I met my first four ex-wives in bars. :wink:

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only 4??
wow! Laughing

I met my first husband outside of a bar. I was parking may car, he was stumbling to his.
Love at first drink
Divorce at first sobriety..
>siiiiiiigh<

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On-line dating scares the hell outta me! I've looked through some of them, but I wasn't too impressed.

As a woman, I've grown used to hearing from my male friends " But it's so much easier for you to meet a man than for me to meet a woman. Where are all the nice girls?".
Laughing

Like it's easy sifting out all the pervs, jokers, and incompatibles! Not to mention dealing with some really inappropriate advances. Scary.

I'm not much of a bar person, and when I go it's usually to dance drink and be with friends. I always decline a man in a bar/club ( but a relaxed lounge or pub or cafe might be okay). I definetly wouldn't take him home though.

Remember phone dating services? They still exist, and I'd imagine they're seedy as hell. I won't touch those things either.

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As a woman, I've grown used to hearing from my male friends " But it's so much easier for you to meet a man than for me to meet a woman.

Yep. I always love that. Meanwhile there's what, five women to every one man? The odds are definately stacked in their favor.

But I think it's just hard for men and women to meet other single people. At work they're always too young, too old, or taken. So it's difficult to meet people who are your age, single and someone you'd actually like to go out with.

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I always decline a man in a bar/club ( but a relaxed lounge or pub or cafe might be okay). I definetly wouldn't take him home though.

Me either. It's just not safe. Too many women have turned up dead from doing that.

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Where are all the nice girls?".

Not getting picked up at a bar, dude.

I also have a problem with the "just stop looking, and it'll happen," advice. Because I think you always have to be looking. Granted, you may meet somebody you really like when you least expect it. But you have to be aware of them -- you have to be open to sending out or picking up signals from them -- if you're ever going to get anywhere with them. So you always have to be "looking" -- at least somewhat.

As far as the online dating, I've heard pros and cons about it. I've looked at a couple of those sites and I've seen at least a couple of people who looked promising. But I haven't gotten up the nerve to try it yet. It still scares me.

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