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How do I help a friend sort his life out

 
 
Reply Sun 10 Oct, 2021 11:15 am
How do I help a mate. Can’t break up with his gf

Not that he hasn’t tried. She cheated on him. He cheated on her. In fact he’s inlove with the women he’s cheating on her with.
He’s told his gf how unhappy he is. She storms out and comes bk with ideas trying to make it work. Then he had to move towns for work. They none stop fight. He tried to tell her to stay and it was over. She breaks down threatens to hurt her self. Says she can’t afford to live on her own. So last week she moved with him. Away from all her family with a man who doesn’t want to be with her. All they have done is argue since they moved together. He’s a coward and weak but do you think they could ever work this out. I think he’s under the delusion. They can sort it.

Apart from work he’s not allowed out of her sight she follows him every were. Checks his phone the whole thing is a joke. She checks his underwear and phone when he comes home.

The women who he is inlove with is perfect and he’s ruined his chances of happiness. He said he’s waiting for his gf just to get sick and move out but I actually don’t think it will happen.

What help advice could I give him. He’s almost in an abusive relationship it’s very toxic
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sun 10 Oct, 2021 11:46 am
@lost20213,
He's not almost in an abusive relationship.

He is in an abusive relationship.

He owes her nothing, and he is not responsible for her and her choices, including if she opens a vein over him (which is highly unlikely).

He needs to move again. If it's under cover of night or when she's away for whatever reason, then so be it. He needs to move and of course not take her along with him. He really had had a golden opportunity when he was moving, but he blew it by letting her back in his life.

So he's got to go through whatever expense and inconvenience and wasted time necessary to get to some place where she won't live with him. A place with good locks and a doorbell cam.

Probably the best thing you can do, if you're truly serious about helping him, is distract her for however many hours it takes for him to get his stuff out. And if it feels like it'll take too long, then he's got to start moving his stuff to storage so it's offsite and can't be held hostage to her whims.

If you think she's potentially physically dangerous, then involve the authorities. No one should have to live like he's currently living.
neptuneblue
 
  3  
Reply Sun 10 Oct, 2021 01:32 pm
@lost20213,
You need to clean up your own life before chasing after some dude that doesn't want you and has a girlfriend. He's made his choice to stay with her.

Leave him alone.
0 Replies
 
Jingleboots
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Oct, 2021 08:12 am
@jespah,
If this is your friend, it's really none of your business. You can give him advice but to carry the burden of frustration over his inability to manage his own life is very unhealthy for you. You can't fix him or anyone else. The best thing you can do is let this go and he will have to suffer the consequences and make decisions on his own to improve his life.
0 Replies
 
 

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