Am I being strung along or is this acceptable?

Reply Sun 12 Sep, 2021 12:46 am
Had been talking to a guy for a few months on Instagram and we slowly built up the courage to meet. He had messaged me in April this year first quite a few times before I had responded. I then realised it was a few months and I hadn't responded so I messaged him. We spoke for probably a whole month before the meeting. He has offered breakfast/study dates before too.

We ended up going out for dinner. Had very good chats, seems like a really lovely guy and nothing sexual. The odd compliment, but in good taste. Some cute messages to each other, like him sending me photos of what he does for work and him telling me that he often thinks about me. He told me he was a bit nervous before picking me up. He picked me up from my house and before he got to mine, he texted me saying would I like him to meet my parents or just pick me up. He paid for dinner and it went really well in terms of chats, felt like a really caring and respectful guy, talked about family and all those nice things.
He dropped me home and did not indicate anything about going back to his which was good. He asked if I would like to do this again and I said yes. When we got back to my house to drop me home, my mother was just coming home and he waited and said hello to her. He then said she was lovely. I could tell he wanted to kiss as he sort of just kept looking at me, I said something and then we kissed. He messaged me a few hours later thanking me, kept in on and off-contact for the week, he told me he was tired but good. He asked about my plans for the weekend and I did the same, he is very busy and works in the medical field. He hasn't mentioned anything about catching up again. He asked about a job interview over the weekend and I didn't respond till about 5 days later, however, in my mind, because it was worded like 'job interview? nice' but then realised I should have responded. I told him I am a bit shy too. We texted a bit more but it seemed to go nowhere so I messaged him that I was under the assumption he was going to initiate something again as he asked me, that there are certain things I won’t stand for and that I wish him all the best. I sent the message on Instagram at 11pm and I noticed he opened it at 2am; perhaps he intentionally left it and then woke up thinking about it.

He responded with ‘Sorry I wasn't able to reply immediately, I have been thinking about my answer. I'm sorry if it came across that way. You're not someone I would do that with and I had hoped to get to know you better and see where things go. I am busy but I should have more time once exams are finished. I do want to see you again so I apologise for not initiated’

Our dymanic so far, nonetheless does feel very healthy.


**TL;DR** date went really well with a guy, appears to like me. We met 2 weeks ago, he asked in person if I would like to do this again at the end of the date. He is busy, works in the medical field. The only concern is that we still communicate via Instagram DM.
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 1,069 • Replies: 3

Reply Sun 12 Sep, 2021 01:43 am
I'm not much for advice, but all sounds good. I might mention that if I were in his position, I might think that you were interested, you might not delay your responses so much. I don't mean to imply that you both need to sit around messaging each other, and my reply is based on a fairly quick read.
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Reply Sun 12 Sep, 2021 08:51 am
You are past the Instagram and texting stage. That’s no way to hold a relationship together.

You are going to need to be more assertive if you want to move this along. Invite him for breakfast or lunch, and pay the bill. Try to see him in person as much as possible.

You really don’t know him well, except by media. Make this happen or it will just fade away.

May I ask your ages?
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Reply Sun 12 Sep, 2021 11:08 am
He's in the middle of exams. That's why he's not asking you anywhere.

His schoolwork comes before you, and at this stage in your relationship, it should.
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