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Why do so many people change their mind about wanting to hang out with me?

 
 
echidna
 
Reply Thu 9 Sep, 2021 11:35 pm
I'm a very shy girl and have trouble making friends. A few years ago, I joined this site where I could make friends from the city I live, but most of them changed their minds about wanting to meet me.

I heard good things about girl 1 so I thought I'd ask her if she would like to meet up to see if we click and she said she would love to. On the day, she asked if we could meet the day afterwards because she had another friend who wanted to meet me who was a little girl and I said "That sounds really cool, but I already have plans that day. She sounds cute haha. Does she know me?" (Of course she didn't know me because she wanted to meet me, but that didn't cross my mind at the time) and girl 1 told me a bit about her and then said that she woke up with a head ache and asked if we could meet some other time.

I met up with a different girl a while after this, girl 2, and we got along well. She was really cool and even someone I'd want to be close friends with and she might have as well because she said that even if I didn't choose her to be buddies, she'd still be happy to go to a gallery with me. The next day she asked if I would like to be buddies and I said that I would love to and she was like that's great. I also said that I'd be able to go to the gallery with her and asked her where it was and she told me but just a little while before I was going to leave, she told me she wasn't feeling well and if we could catch up next week.

Girl 3 messaged me asking if I wanted to meet up and I told her that I remembered her from school and said I would like to, but on the day she told me her car wasn't working.

There have been a few people that have been happy to hang out with me, but we didn't click super well (I still thought they were nice though). There were more people than these three people who changed their mind about wanting to see me though. It's not that I think people should have to hang out with me, it just makes me kind of worried that people change their minds because I feel like I must be doing something wrong, but I don't know what. Do you think they just thought we wouldn't click super well, or should I be worried?
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 257 • Replies: 9

 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Fri 10 Sep, 2021 05:40 pm
@echidna,
Or maybe they were telling you the truth.
echidna
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Sep, 2021 02:16 am
@jespah,
I messaged girl 1 a few days after she asked if we could reschedule, but I never got a message back from her so I'm not sure.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sun 12 Sep, 2021 12:27 pm
@echidna,
Then try one last time and call it a day. If you want to make friends, you'll need to do some legwork.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Sun 12 Sep, 2021 05:00 pm
@echidna,
Do you think you seem needy or desperate? That can be a real turn-off. Shy is one thing, but needy is another.
echidna
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Sep, 2021 10:24 pm
@Mame,
Hmm, interesting. Can you describe what exactly you mean by needy? Like do you mean desperately wanting to hang out?
Real Music
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2021 12:27 am
@echidna,
Quote:
I heard good things about girl 1
1. What do you mean when say that you heard good things about girl 1?

2. Are you saying someone told you about girl 1?

3. Or are you saying that you read something about girl 1?
Mame
 
  3  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2021 11:05 am
@echidna,
Yes, as in desperate. Vibes come off people and the negative ones (needy, desperate, mean) are a turn-off.
echidna
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Sep, 2021 05:16 pm
@Mame,
Okay, thanks. I'll try to be a bit more chill.
0 Replies
 
echidna
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 Sep, 2021 09:40 am
@Real Music,
I was in a shop and the girl working there told me that I reminded her of her friend and said she was really lovely. Her friend had a name that not many other people have and I live in a small city so I assumed it was her. I know it may not necessarily have been her, but she seemed quite nice when I talked to her on the site.
0 Replies
 
 

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