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Boyfriend questions why I don’t answer his calls quickly.

 
 
Reply Fri 20 Aug, 2021 06:02 am
My boyfriend is always in a crappy mood and I never know why cause I’m always happy and talkative, willing to meet new people and have a different way of thinking from him. I have told him so many times and still he questions if he can trust me, he asks me if I’m getting another call from someone, if I don’t pick up in a few seconds he thinks I’m up to no good and this is because in the past he didn’t like the idea of me being social and going places without telling him every detail about the time I went out and the people I was meeting, we had a rocky relationship for months because I went out one night with a friend and didn’t tell him the name of the person I went out with. I always thought this was unacceptable behaviour but he told me no one in a relationship would go out with a friend and not mention every move they make. I love would like some insight into this behaviour as he has made me feel guilty for the last two years of my life.
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 301 • Replies: 11

 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Fri 20 Aug, 2021 06:28 am
@Jasminka101,
He's full of ****.

Jasminka101 wrote:
I went out one night with a friend and didn’t tell him the name of the person I went out with. I always thought this was unacceptable behaviour but he told me no one in a relationship would go out with a friend and not mention every move they make. I love would like some insight into this behaviour as he has made me feel guilty for the last two years of my life.
That's not standard relationship behavior; that's standard controlling, manipulative, gaslighting behavior.

He's supposed to be your boyfriend, not your parole officer.

Is this the same guy with the girlfriend in another state you've posted about before? Because if it is, he's performing a pretty classic narcissistic behavior -- projecting.

This crap is only going to get worse over time.

Note: IANAD
Jasminka101
 
  2  
Reply Fri 20 Aug, 2021 07:26 am
@jespah,
Thanks so much for replying Smile

No this is not the same guy from my previous post, I met my current boyfriend only two years ago, it’s upsetting cause in the beginning they show themselves nice and charming but after awhile they change completely. Sad
izzythepush
 
  3  
Reply Fri 20 Aug, 2021 07:28 am
@Jasminka101,
This controlling behaviour will only get worse.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Fri 20 Aug, 2021 09:52 am
@Jasminka101,
The truth is he’s insecure and sounds as though he can’t trust anyone. On top of that his control issues are or could be damaging to your self-confidence

The fact remains is that you should be trusted and this is in conflict with his ability to trust ANYONE.
Jasminka101
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Aug, 2021 03:33 pm
@Ragman,
Yes this is very true, I feel like a completely different person from when I first met him, I was a free woman once and enjoyed my life, now I’m constantly getting approvals from him about the way I dress, what I read and believe etc…. cause if I don’t do what he wants an argument starts.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Aug, 2021 03:44 pm
@Jasminka101,
So what are you going to free yourself from this oppressive behavior? Jail without bars is no future. Remember what it was like without this?
Jasminka101
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Aug, 2021 03:18 am
@Ragman,
I was very happy before all of this and i definitely won’t be staying around too long cause i feel it will only get worse. I’m also very far away from home, almost 4 hours away, I’m thinking of going back soon.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Aug, 2021 04:00 am
@Jasminka101,
Sooner rather than later.

There’s a love song by the band Cream called I Feel Free, which is how you should feel when it’s the real thing.

If you don’t feel free, or at worse feel trapped it’s time to get out.
Jasminka101
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Aug, 2021 06:12 am
@izzythepush,
I do feel trapped and have been for sometime, i miss having my independence and freedom, I know I will feel a lot better once I take it back again. Smile
izzythepush
 
  2  
Reply Sat 21 Aug, 2021 06:14 am
@Jasminka101,
Do it quickly, and take some time out to get to know yourself, enjoy being single for a bit.
0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
  2  
Reply Sat 21 Aug, 2021 07:23 pm
@Jasminka101,
It won't get any better. I had one like this. You can have him lock you in a room with no means of communication and he will STILL accuse you of being "up to no good" somehow. Run for your life.
0 Replies
 
 

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