Wed 4 Aug, 2021 09:43 am
I’m (20f) in a long term relationship but I want to experience other people and be young before I settle down.
Hi, so I’m currently going into year three of my degree at uni with my girlfriend (f21). She’s graduated already (as she’s a year older) but we’ve moved in together for this coming year. We’ve been together for nearly two years now (pretty much the duration of my uni life).
The thing is, I planned on messing around and not really getting into a relationship at the start of uni, but we hit it off instantly and here I am, in a serious relationship.
I’m having feelings of regret and I feel like I want to ‘play the field’ (but not go crazy). I just crave new experiences and new sexual partners- although I love my girlfriend, she’s had this and I haven’t- which I don’t have an issue with, but the feeling’s starting to become stifling. Plus, the sex with her isn’t great.
Not really sure what else to say, but we had a wobble recently and my friends and parents expected me to break up with her (which I didn’t, as I still do love her). Anyway, we’re trying again but I’m wondering if it’s time to move on although I still love her?
For reference, I’m repeating second year as I put myself second to her emotional and physical needs (she’s been ill and has needed taking care of, which isn’t her fault, obviously). But now she’s better, some things need to change. I’ve spoken to her about it and we agreed she’d change the habits that make life more stressful for me, and she’d help out more around the house etc.
@Wolfie1417,
I think its unfair to her. If you want to have relationships with other women, thats fine but but let her know and move on.
@Wolfie1417,
If that's what you want, break up with her and move on. This will satisfy you plus provide her with opportunities to meet people better suited for her.
@glitterbag,
glitterbag wrote:
If that's what you want, break up with her and move on. This will satisfy you plus provide her with opportunities to meet people better suited for her.
Yes agreed - it sounds to me like you want her to stay your gf but while you are still having outside relationships - not fair - if you are not 100% committed to her then it is not fair to stay in your relationship for her or for you.
Right girl but at the wrong time?
It doesn’t really even seem that way. Especially if even the sex isn’t that great.
Follow your gut. Besides, you are too young to commit ( exclusivity and housing) Make yourself a promise not to get into that situation for a while.
@PUNKEY,
Definitely the right girl there’s no denying it. Just feeling a bit too young to be so serious- 95% sure I see myself marrying her, which I think is where these feelings have come from. The sex hasn’t been great as she has endo so it’s hard to navigate, but again, not her fault.
@Linkat,
It’s not about having the two at the same time- for me, I’m just scared I’ve not loved my life (she’s my first and only). I haven’t had sex with anyone else.
@Wolfie1417,
Are you being fair to this woman? Is it honest?
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