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When a BF uses you as a "Trophy"

 
 
VABGirl
 
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 09:59 am
I was told the other day my BF shows pictures of me(with clothes) to other people telling them how attractive i am. In a way that flattering but i also think its a bit rude. Is it something i should be concerned about or just forget it.?
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 416 • Replies: 17

 
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 10:22 am
@VABGirl,
My personal opinion is that it is sweet. Your boyfriend appreciates how you look. I don't have a problem with my girlfriend showing off pictures of me (and actually... I might have a problem if she didn't). But that is just my personal feeling.

If this bothers you ... Then you should talk about it.

Good relationships are about communication. You should tell him how you feel, and what makes you uncomfortable about this. You shouldn't accuse him, simply say "when you show pictures of me I feel .... ". And then listen.
VABGirl
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 10:41 am
@maxdancona,
Thanks. It doesnt bother me for him to show them to his friends but not to strangers. I may be making too much out of it!!
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 10:46 am
@VABGirl,
VABGirl wrote:

Thanks. It doesnt bother me for him to show them to his friends but not to strangers. I may be making too much out of it!!


You may be making WAY, WAY, WAY too much out of it.

Be happy you look good...and that your boyfriend thinks you look so good he wants to brag about being your boyfriend.

As for showing your picture to strangers...
...ummm...if that Avatar is a picture of you...

...isn't that what you are doing?
hightor
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 11:05 am
@VABGirl,
I think it's rather juvenile. Anyone who meets you can make his own judgment on how attractive you are. I don't think you need to make too much of it but I would hope that he grows out of it.

Here's a story (written in the form of a documentary) which might give you both something to think about:

Liking What You See: A Documentary
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 11:12 am
@VABGirl,
VABGirl wrote:

Thanks. It doesnt bother me for him to show them to his friends but not to strangers. I may be making too much out of it!!


I hope you saw my most important point is about communication.

If my girlfriend said to me "it makes me feel uncomfortable when you show my picture to strangers", I wouldn't make a big deal of it. I would simply stop showing her picture to strangers.

I care about my girlfriend, and I listen to what she tells me she needs. But I can't do that if she doesn't tell me.
Mame
 
  0  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 12:56 pm
@hightor,
That was a fascinating read, hightor. Thank you!
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 01:14 pm
@Mame,
Mame wrote:

That was a fascinating read, hightor. Thank you!


This reminds me of the story Harrison Bergeron by Kurt Vonnegut. In this story they handicap people so that everyone is equal and no one feels inferior.

In the story a talented ballerina has her face covered by a hideous mask and has to constantly wear weights because she is beautiful and moves so gracefully. And her father has a brain implant to fix his above average intelligence.

It is a great story.
VABGirl
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 01:29 pm
@maxdancona,
Yes, that makes sense.
0 Replies
 
VABGirl
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 01:30 pm
@hightor,
Thats awesome, thank you so much.
0 Replies
 
VABGirl
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 01:31 pm
@maxdancona,
That sounds like something to make me think. Really puts things into another persons head.
0 Replies
 
VABGirl
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 01:33 pm
@Frank Apisa,
HaHa, good point!! But its not like im posting a bunch of my BF's pictures and bragging how hot he is. I think you are right though. All of you make some good points.
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 01:42 pm
@VABGirl,
VABGirl wrote:

HaHa, good point!! But its not like im posting a bunch of my BF's pictures and bragging how hot he is. I think you are right though. All of you make some good points.


Is your boyfriend hot?
VABGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jul, 2021 01:47 pm
@maxdancona,
To me he is, but that isnt because of just his looks. He is attractive in alot of ways including his acceptance of my quirks.
0 Replies
 
Stephanie29
 
  3  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2021 02:01 am
Wow, this whole thread is one big humble brag. I don't think that your boyfriend has much of a trophy.
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2021 08:15 am
@VABGirl,
VABGirl wrote:

I was told the other day my BF shows pictures of me(with clothes) to other people telling them how attractive i am. In a way that flattering but i also think its a bit rude. Is it something i should be concerned about or just forget it.?


Hard to tell - in what context is it? It might simply be that he is very proud and happy that he has such a girl friend and wants to show you off.

VABGirl
 
  0  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2021 05:53 pm
@Stephanie29,
Im sure some think that!!
0 Replies
 
VABGirl
 
  1  
Reply Mon 2 Aug, 2021 05:58 pm
@Linkat,
He showed them mostly to people where he works. Anyway, he says he wont do it again, lol. He said they were pics of our vacation, if so no big deal. My tattletale friend might have made more out it than need be, lol
0 Replies
 
 

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