Caught wife with lover; lover is married with 1 year old

Lost--

Exactly why do you think you should tell your wife's paramour's spouse that her husband is a no good?

You told her you'd forgive her?

Wuss.

Who cares about his wife...you got bigger things to worry about, like divorce.

Personally, I think you should send copies of the pictures to his wife...and then divorce yours.

Take care of your own marriage and life, Lost.

If you have forgiven your wife, will you stay together? If so, why put a burden on his wife. She, like you, was an innocent victim. Do not show the pictures to her. What will it accomplish?
Good luck to you.

Most innocent victims of adultry get VD's.
Whos to say he isnt sleeping with other women?
Or paying for sex?
I dont know how I feel about telling his wife, BUT for her healths sake it is necessary she knows...

hmmm

Good points, shewolfnm. However, who says he is sleeping with his wife?

I agree she should know (she might already know), but I strongly don't think it is Lost's role to tell or show her.

I agree osso.

and you are right Intrepid..
he may NOT be sleeping with her.
For all that is known they may not even live together anymore.

You accidentally came across the car... then you sat in the woods for an hour... then the car showed up?

Doesn't matter, it looks like the shoe has dropped, the marriage is over, and it's time to move on.

Sorry you're having such a difficult time, kudos to you for trying to fix it and for being smart enough not to bring kids into that situation. Good luck.

I'd worry about the direction of my own relationship; the other relationship isn't really your business...please don't go there.

It won't last for those two. It won't last for you and your spouse either. You'll be screaming at her about this forever.


Extricate yourself from a very messy situation and think very hard about how YOU want to live YOUR life...

In fairness, he said he came across the guys car...waited...guy and wife showed up in wife's car.

My wife's lover and his wife are still living together. My wife in her past before I came along would fall prey to married men who would promise her that they would leave their wife for her and guess what, they never would. We both experienced two very traumatic events in our life in less than a years time and I don't think she got over the second incident as she never seemed to be the same. I urged her to get professional help but she wouldn't. It seems that she may be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder of which has caused her to revert back to her old ways of letting herself be used by married men and not practicing safe sex.
Oh and like I said I can forgive her but I never said I wanted to get back with her. I believe in God and his words that we should forgive others. Thats just me and if you don't like it thats your own opinion.

My question remains:

Why do you think you should tell your wife's paramour's spouse about his infidelity?

the fact that you wont to forgive your wife is one of those for the books i mean if your willilng to for give her you must really love the woman. ive been the one cheating on my wives, and the reason is because i have the fear that a woman that if i loved will cheat on me and i couldnt handle it because of the fact that i have power over the females, and it would destroy my ego bad so i cant seem to find real love because of that fear but you you really love this woman and can except the cheating to a degree. and is willilng to help her if she wants, your better than me cause i wouldnt put up with it i thinnk that once a cheater is all ways a cheater and should be **** canned, ive been forgiven by my wives thousands of times and ive done it again and again, now since my last girl freind ive decided to only try to find the woman that i can truly love, but after hearing and seeing cheats and reading about cheats iam convinced that the one for me dosent exzist so iam going back to being the old noncareing womanizer. iam afraid that i will be like you and find mine with another male, it would be all right if it wa s a female because its not a male. i think that would be cool.

It was just a question, my feelings on the issue are as follows -
She is a friend of ours and we have spent many a time going to each others house like most do and I don't want to hurt her.
She is a wonderful person and does not need to be exposed to such a photograph as it would most likely crush her.
If I showed her the photos then I would be the one pushing her towards God knows what and I don't want to be the one responsible.

Once again I just asked a question for some advice on the matter and it seems most of you all agree with my thoughts that I should not show her the photos. As for my wife and her husband they will both have to live with what they have done and wonder for all of time when and where if ever will the photos appear.

Tell his wife ....she would feel so humiliated that you all knew all the time and you as a friend never told her and do show her the photos so she sees for herself that its true....yes it will indeed hurt her but not as bad as her knowing you knew all the time.

As for the husband......tell him to come and pick your wife up!
as for your wife make sure the door does'nt hit her on the way out!

What type of car was it?