Is this inappropriate touching or are we becoming paranoid?

I guess that for me it would depend on what I knew about the kid.

I don't think the hair thing is so weird - most salons are full of men working as stylist; hair is not the exclusive domain of girls. The fact that there were so many people around make me think it was perfectly innocent.

The only hinky thing I get from this is that the boy works around kids a lot and I think that is a common trait for people who abuse kids.

She's lucky to have a male role model like the counsellor around.

He's exactly the kind of guy they're looking for in paediatric psych and teaching programs in the universities.

<nothing odd about guys liking to braid hair - it's a normal nurturing thing. sounds like he was marvellously raised>

When i picture this scenerio I see a young man enthralled with his job. nothing more.
If i were to question things it would be -

Does he braid other girls hair?
Is your daughter uncomfortable?
Do YOU or your husband braid her hair? If so, could she just associate that with comfort and seeks it from him as well?
How long has he been there?

I am with you about nothing thinking twice about this. Braiding hair is something little girls LIKE. He works with little girls.. he is going to know how to do that, how to put on makeup, how to dance silly, little kiddie rhymes etc.

Is your husband just dead set against her being around this camp or this particular person again? Or is he just upset it happend?

boomer - my best friend's oldest son (now in his late 30's) started volunteering at his little sister's daycare when he was 14 - continued to work and volunteer with kids forever - he's now a child psychologist, much respected in his field. Nothin' hinky about it - he just always knew he wanted to work with kids and help them. I wish there were more boys and men like him.

I agree eBeth that there are more men interested in working with kids than there are pedophiles!

And they do it for all of the right reasons. That's why I was saying that it would depend on what I knew about the kid in question.

I don't see the harm....

I personally think, if he WERE a child molester, he wouldnt be trying to win her confidence in public.
It would be small gifts, individual attention away from groups, and he would NOT be showing that same attention to a group of girls.
Pedophiles single out, they dont 'group up" if that makes sense.
Of course, that is a real blanket statement...

Actually my husband likes this kid and knows him to some degree. My husband volunteers in the sports program this kid helps at organizing.

Once when I went to pick her up, he was letting three girls (including my daughter) to rub his hair. It is very prickly and the girls seem to think it tickled and felt funny.

I think my husband is already protective about his little girl with the thoughts of boys - even though it is not a liking girl/boy thing.

I know he has been there before camp started on the weekends in the spring. As he is still in high school, this is a part time/summer job for him. The camp is co-ed with boys and girls from 6 up to young teens. I think he works with the next age up from my daughter, but they still have contact with the other groups.

Now if it really is not a big deal…how does one deal with a stubborn husband. Yes, daughter and father are much alike on stubbornness. Makes it difficult for a more open-minded mom.

My husband can be unreasonable about certain things (like this) some times. And I can hear him saying…I just don't like it.

He is probably just daddy reacting to this....the "I have a shot gun and if you ever so much as make a tear glisten in my daughters eye so help me God I will blow your nuts off" deal. Even if she isn't old enough to date I think dads have that thing from birth. All men who are not daddy, uncle, brother, cousin or grandpa are the devil and need to stay away from daddy's girl.

I guess you could always invite hubby to :1) talk to your daughter about it; and 2) take the rest of the summer off to take care of your daughter himself.

Gosh what am I going to have to deal with - she is only 6 for the love of Pete!

I can see this in him. He even admitted it a bit when talking about this incident. I can see it know I will be the negotiator between them.

He has spoken to her about it. My take she simply ignored him. When I spoke to her about it - she told me basically what she thought about it.

I like him - I like when he braids my hair and I am going to let him.

Two peas in a pod I tell you.

Mr wolf is the same way. The other day , he came back from the grocery store FUMING about how another man looked at Bean.............

kinda cute , but can be a real pain in the ass.
Negotiator? I think that is an understatement..

Don't act as the intermediary, Linkat. It's not going to benefit your husband or daughter in the long run.

I think your daughter would feel funny if something "bad" was going on. If she isn't acting weird about it I am sure there is nothing weird about the situation.

Once when my daughter was 2 or 3 dressed as a princess for halloween there was a knock on the door. We open to two little kids dressed for Halloween. The little boy was about a year older than my daughter. He took one look at her and said wow, mom she's my girlfriend.

The look on my husband's face could have killed. He made some comment when they left. I said for goodness sake he is only about 4.

Personally, I think this is harmless.

My older son has had a number of jobs, including a stint as Teaching Assistant in a Nursery School. My son is a man with an old fashioned head-of-hair, thick and lush. While he was at the Nursery School he was wearing it uncut and it spilled down his back covering the waistband of his jeans.

He was a target for little girls. Very Good Little Girls (who had not been messy or bitchy or tearful) were allowed to comb his hair, but he absolutely drew the line at combing their hair--no matter how they pleaded.

This was not because he was afraid of becoming aroused, but because he's a man with many talents who is also a man of many thumbs.

Little girls regard hair as a building material--like lego or tinker toys.

Also, think about chimpanzees grooming each other.

Actually the problem isn't out there in the world--the problem is Daddy.

Link, is your husband willing to analyze his feelings--or is he a Man Who Knows What He Knows?

I think this is harmless, too.

I agree with Beth about avoid being an intermediator, too.

If possible, maybe get some messages in there about how you don't think there's anything wrong with it, yourself.

My husband often does sozlet's hair, it's one of my favorite things to watch. Very sweet. (He had hair past his shoulders for years himself, so knows what to do when it comes to ponytails and such.)

Subtext that I don't think has been made explicit -- is the suspicion that he's gay an aspect? There are many male hairdressers, to be sure, but I think it's safe to say a smallish percentage are heterosexual...

If so, that might be another subtle message that's being given that could use some addressing.

How do you usually resolve these kinds of issues with your husband? It's certainly happened to us, and I just hate it when I feel like my choice is show solidarity on something I think is wrong, or send a completely different message. All the big ones have been resolved by behind-the-scenes discussion, but I hate it when it comes up.