its all about life

so when i was in 5th grade my friend inturduced me to a girl and after that we started to tease her and after that i started to have a crush on her we were best friends then and now we are in the year when im in 6th grade we are still best friends and we have almost all our classes together exept one but anyways in our third period she would always tease me and take my stuff like a pokemon book i had or something and we would always play footsies but everytime she was around me i couldnt help but smile i knew i liked her alot because shes the only person that made me smile alot more than anyone else but unfortunately i said something that wasnt right and got called to the office they told me to stay at least 20 feet away from her but she would always try to talk to me in the halls when ever shed see me so finnally we started to hang out again and talk like we use to now one time she took my candy and put it in between her legs and of cousre i went to grab it then the principal came around the corner and said u two stop fighting so ya that happened we were still friends but now since covid im in 7th grade and we havnt talked in a while i just have this feeling of depression over me and ive been helping a girl thats in the same grade as me with her depression and shes been much more happieer so the only thing i did was joke around with my friends to feel happy but theres still that hole that i cant fill i try and i try but it just dosnt work i just dont know what to do anymore