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Sun 17 Jul, 2005 02:11 pm
I recently met this guy who used a genius little technique to pick me up. He presented a scenario and based upon my answers dissected my personality; he did a good job. He called the next day and I had dinner with him and his friends along with some of their girlfriends the following week (the boys cooked). It was a lovely first date and less than a week later we had a second date. It was his suggestion that he come to my place and I cook dinner this time. Seemed fair enough to me and a great chance to show off my culinary skills. The night went quite well, so well we ended up sleeping together. Okay I know, second date...keep in mind we are both in our 30's, so I think different rules apply. He ended up spending the night which surprised me since I thought guys were trained to make a break for it once the sex was done. Not him, totally cuddled and stayed the whole night and not because he lives far; he lives 5 minutes from here. So here is my problem or wherein the confusion lies. Since that night he has called me every other day during the afternoon while I am at work and leaves messages. His messages have ranged from his gratitude for the wonderful evening to suggestive "I'm so hot and sweaty from the gym, just like the other night" and to "hope your week is going well, talk to you soon." He has not made any suggestions to go out again which leads me to believe that he is not interested. Granted I know he is involved in a great deal of projects with work right now, so maybe he doesn't have time. However, when you like someone don't you find time? It's been one week since our last date. I have only retuned one of his calls this week and sent 2 short text messages acknowledging his calls, but not asking him out or anything of the sort. Am I being a fool, should I just delete him from my phone and write this off? or am I being too hard adn should just chill. Is he waiting for me to make the next move? Gosh, dating was so much easier in high school, what happened? It's weird seeing how he seemed so interested and taken aback by me. I just don't get it....
Three words will answer your question.
Ask him out.
I'm a 35 year old singal male.I in the same exact situation. Back up and go on another"first date" so you can reread eachother.
Hmm...Ask him out. That's scary. Here's why. Part of his analysis of me what that I exude a strong confident energy and possibly like to be in control. The truth is I love a good chase. But so do most men (from what I hear), which sucks for me. I should have been a guy, this is so not fair. So while I do like to pursue with craft, I've been told by my friends (girls and guys) that guys don't like that and they want to chase you, so here I sit and wonder. As if being pretty, intelligent, witty and a fabulous cook isn't enough...not to mention I have a killer body. What do you men want?
To be asked out.
He likes the confidence, he likes the in-control part, he might be confused about why you are regressing to a typical woman's role of waiting for him to make the (next) move.
He called every other day.You can ask him out.Inless he's a player and doing the same with other women.Ask him out and get to the bottom of this.Your acting like..... well a women
You guys are awesome! Strangley, I'm from NY and up until a month ago I lived in So Cal. So what I'm hearing is I can stop playing this passive role which is exhausting and get to steppin. Thank God. Because frankly my knees are hurting from all the running I have been doing to clear my mind!
I don't know a women is interested in me till she hits me in the head with a bat.
I wonder how many relationships never took place,
because of these dating rules and games Americans impose on themselves.
Just do what seems right for you, and who cares what everone else says or does. Every date, every relationship is unique, how can some odd rules apply to all?
i'm outa here this chick looks mean,good luck sunflower.I got lost in N.Y. and theres no trees
Whom are you calling mean chick, ha?
dating is like a three hour job interview.Used to live in El cajon
It's not for the weak, that's for sure
If thats a picture of you your cute.So....come here often? :wink:
CalamityJane wrote:I wonder how many relationships never took place,
because of these dating rules and games Americans impose on themselves.///
So true, and so unfortunate.
...well go out again for the 3rd time...you have already done the jiggy with him!...so obviously there is a physical attraction with you both, get to know him more...you would know already if you dont like him. :wink:
Im so glad us New Zealanders dont impose dating rules and games onto ourselves!
I agree with the others who've said it, you make the next move.
This girl left a long time ago there probably back in bed already
Re: Men, Dating & Confusion...oh my
It's only been a week and he called every other day? You mean he didn't wait the mandatory 10 days after he said. "I'll call you." Someone needs to talk to this guy. He hasn't read the handbook about how guys are supposed to act after they first bed a girl.
He's obviously interested and needs a go signal. Give it to him. Suggest a cuddle session. :wink:
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