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My great, big, long, huge, enormous...bellybutton.

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Gargamel
 
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 12:20 pm
Need advice plse!

At first my new girlfriend was really excited about my 19 INCH OUTTIE BELLYBUTTON. But we're finding out now that it just isn't practical.

She used to tease it, put her mouth over it, but that made me giggle amd squeal like a little school-girl, which she ultimately found too creepy. Moreover, she complains that during intercourse it just flops around against her chest like a licorice rope. We can't go to the beach without people yelling "freak," or a dog bounding over and tugging at it.

What should I do?

THNX!
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 2,756 • Replies: 35
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bodemette
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 12:46 pm
If it bothers you so much you might consider plastic surgery, at least that's what I would do.
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 01:27 pm
I've spoken to one doctor about it. He said that with this surgery there is a 20% chance of death. I know that's not a high percentage, but still...

I am going to get a second opinon though.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 01:31 pm
Why don't you tie it in a bow and use it as an accessory? Work with what you have, not against it!
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 01:39 pm
Be a man, and next time your girlfriend complains about it again strangle the bitch with your freakishly long belly button while having sex...then punch her in the face...then light her hair on fire...then "explode" in her eye when she least expects it.

Uh, but don't forget the Marvin Gaye in the background. Broads like romance.
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jpinMilwaukee
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 02:01 pm
It's like a built-in belt... you should consider yourself lucky.
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Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 02:13 pm
jpinMilwaukee wrote:
It's like a built-in belt... you should consider yourself lucky.


I wish my waist were that small! I used to wrap it around, tuck it in my anus, and hang my cell-phone on it, but after some bad scrapes I cut it out.

Some really good ideas though, so far. Nothing softens the violence of asphyixation like "Sexual Healing," that's for sure.
0 Replies
 
jpinMilwaukee
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 02:20 pm
How about if you leave your pants unzipped and let it hang out a bit. Then when you catch some girl staring at it, act surprised and while tucking it back in say something like, "Most people say they want one this big but I swear sometimes it's a curse."
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 02:34 pm
Um... could you please avoid the phrase "cut it out" while discussing tucking something into your anus? Seriously.

Suggestion: Pierce your nipple and tuck the belly-button through the ring.
0 Replies
 
StarryEyedAngel
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 03:14 pm
Okay,20% chance of death.....?!whatever,get a second opinion because people get bigger things like brain surgery and amputations...what's the removal of extra bellybotton skin gonna do...it's nothing compared to those...
0 Replies
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 03:19 pm
StarryEyedAngel wrote:
Okay,20% chance of death.....?!whatever,get a second opinion because people get bigger things like brain surgery and amputations...what's the removal of extra bellybotton skin gonna do...it's nothing compared to those...


Hey, there, sexy...you like a man with an innie? If you do, I believe we should discuss this further, maybe over a drink at my apartment? I've got "sexual healing" on CD...
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 03:29 pm
kickycan wrote:
StarryEyedAngel wrote:
Okay,20% chance of death.....?!whatever,get a second opinion because people get bigger things like brain surgery and amputations...what's the removal of extra bellybotton skin gonna do...it's nothing compared to those...


Hey, there, sexy...you like a man with an innie? If you do, I believe we should discuss this further, maybe over a drink at my apartment? I've got "sexual healing" on CD...


She meant the bellybutton Kicky, not the wiener. :wink:
0 Replies
 
kickycan
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 03:35 pm
Oh now that hurt, Bella. I have a good mind to bend you over this chair and spank your little bottom until it's fiery red...
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 03:39 pm
StarryEyedAngel wrote:
Okay,20% chance of death.....?!whatever,get a second opinion because people get bigger things like brain surgery and amputations...what's the removal of extra bellybotton skin gonna do...it's nothing compared to those...


The doctor said that at my age, my sacral chakra, located just below my bellybutton, is fully mature and that during surgery it could be at risk. As everyone knows, this chakra is the most critical energy center on the human body, and may cause heart failure if tampered with.

But it's nothing, right? No big deal? I wish.

I guess it's something you'd have to go through to understand. You'd have to know what's it's like to get your bellybutton caught in the garbage disposal one morning when you were doing the dishes naked. But whatever, go on with your carefree, happy, normal lives.
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 03:48 pm
But is the chakra actualized? That makes a big difference.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 05:31 pm
have it tatooed like a penis

( oh jeezee.. here I go , making this an 'adult' thread again )
Laughing
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 06:23 pm
shewolfnm wrote:
have it tatooed like a penis

( oh jeezee.. here I go , making this an 'adult' thread again )
Laughing


I would but there's way too much hair on it. I'd have to shave it regularly, which is difficult with such a floppy appendage.

Yeah I forgot to mention, it's super hairy.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2005 09:25 pm
Take off your shirt and walk around backwards. That way people will think it's a tail, and it won't seem so weird.
0 Replies
 
brahmin
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Jul, 2005 08:09 am
DrewDad wrote:
Take off your shirt and walk around backwards. That way people will think it's a tail, and it won't seem so weird.



hahahhahah... the best idea so far to my mind...

er OP..... if you dont mind... if your belly button is a 19 incher (that too when not erect) then er....????
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Jul, 2005 11:17 am
Have it waxed.
floppy saggy skin or not, that'll pull the hair off

then get the penis tatoo
go to the beach
and bury your self in the sand
leave it out
and see what happens...
0 Replies
 
 

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